too old for a dummy?

Carree - posted on 06/07/2011 ( 30 moms have responded )

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hi my daughter courtney is 6 an refuses to give up a dummy if i say i cnt find it then she literally screams the place dwn and wont sleep until its given to her i was wondering if anyone had any suggestions please! xx

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Jennifer - posted on 06/10/2011

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I don't mean to sound abrasive but you’re the parent. She screams and refuses to sleep because it gives her what she wants. By giving in to her demands you are reinforcing the bad behaviour she is displaying. Tell her the pacifier is gone; she is a big girl and doesn't need it anymore. Then there is the hard part, put her to bed and shut the door. Every 10 minutes or so go back in to her room and tell her to stop the fit and go to sleep. Eventually she will tire herself out to the point that she can't go on any longer. At that point, you have won that battle but the war is long from over. This will take a few nights to correct with likely the same level of screaming if not worse as she gets angrier from the lack of results. Stick to your guns and two things will be accomplished; one the pacifier will be gone and two your daughter will learn that when mommy and daddy say no they mean it.

Alisha - posted on 06/12/2011

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She is wayy too old of course. Any child past 2 should not use one. It is ok if she screams, don't let that stop you from not giving it to her. Throw away any that you have, do not buy anymore of them and just don't give it to her because she is learning that if she cries and screams she will get what she wants. Your the mom,, your in charge, so take charge and stop allowing her to act like a baby!!

Leslie - posted on 06/13/2011

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My son flushed his down the toilet so I never had that problem, however a friend of mine had a girlfriend call and leave a message on her home machine from the 'binkie fairy' saying that there was a shortage for the new babies and to see if anyone would be willing to donate their binkie. In the "trade" my friends daughter after packaging up her binkie, received a special gift, (teddy bear) whatever, and a certificate saying that she was now a Big Girl. Anyway, just an idea.

[deleted account]

Wow! Time to take back the control. Wait for the weekend and then let her stay up for as long as she can. Don't tell her she has to go to bed because that might trigger her.You know that eventually she'll fall asleep and it won't be with the dummy. Be prepared for a fight---make a pot of coffee and get ready for a long a night. She needs to learn that you are the parent who has the control. You can do it---we've all done it in one way or another! Hope this helps :)

Marsha - posted on 06/10/2011

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My son is 4 now and he quit his "nam nam" prrob when he was around 1-2 yrs old. He got to where he would lose them and I would find them in the couch cushions or under the furniture. When he got his teeth in he would chew and bite on the nipple part,therefore putting litle cuts n them. So that was my opportunity to stop him. Now first off we r not overrun by mice or nasty people but everyone will get a mouse in the house at sometime or another. And the next time we started looking for a missing "nam nam" and find it on the floor or in the couch I would show him the little bite marks HE had made and would tell him "eeeewwww look a mouse got your nam nam and chewed on it! Now its got nasty mouse germs on it, we have to throw it away! And once they r all gone I cant buy u anymore,and he said ok." Of course it happened until he done all of them that way and that was the end of the nam nams without any fusses.

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Carree - posted on 06/29/2011

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i told her after 4 weeks without 1 i'd take her on holiday i'd already booked up anyway but she wasnt to know so yes bribary was the way to go x

Carree - posted on 06/29/2011

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would like to thank you for all your wonderful comments thought i'd update you she hasnt had 1 for 3 weeks so thanks again xx

Carmel - posted on 06/29/2011

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Yes, 6 is way too old for a child to have a dummy! I suggest getting rid of all the dummies in the house and buying ear plugs for everyone else. If your daughter gets her way by screaming now, what's she going to be like when she is 16? Bribery might work too - if she wants something special she gets it if she gives up the dummy. Certainly don't buy her any more. Another idea is to have her stay with relatives for a weekend or so (as long as you can trust them not to give her the dummy). Also maybe tell her that other kids will tease her for being a baby if they know she has a dummy.

Shannon - posted on 06/14/2011

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With my girls I took it away when they where about 18months. It took about a week and they had forgotten all about it. Now a 6 year old might have a really had time giving it up as it has become a happit. Maybe just endure the screaming for a couple days and see how it goes it might just take a little bit to realize shes not going to get it back then get over it.

Elizabeth - posted on 06/14/2011

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By letting her have a dummy you are reuining her teeth the same way as thumb suckers do. You have to be firm with her. I know it's hard but allowing her to continue in this way she is getting her way. You are the adult not your six year old. If she screams then you have to give her a consiquence by stopping her from doing something she likes ie an activity. You could also say that she can have a prize if she manages 1 month without it but warn her that she will not be allowed to return to this behaviour or the prize will be taken away.

Good luck and be strong x

Klara - posted on 06/14/2011

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6 is certainly not too old. Kids will generally give up security items on their own when they are ready. Unless it poses a health risk (ie. pacifier or old disgusting stuffed animals may..), I would let her keep it. Maybe get a couple she can switch out in case that one really does get lost? My 6yo has to sleep with something, but she is fairly flexible what it is (doll, stuffed animal). I saw my oldest decide to try to give up her thumb on her own when she was 9yo because kids were teasing her. That is a natural thing that happens, and can help (although no one likes their kids teased) or make it worse. Others decide on their own its silly and give it up. I kept mine until we had our housefire when I was 17. I didn't sleep with it anymore, but still had it.

Tara - posted on 06/13/2011

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6 is way too old to have a pacifier, in my opinion. I say just take it away and that is that. If she cries, she cries. She is 6 years old and a big girl. She needs to understand that pacifiers are for babies, not big kids. She may throw a fit at night, but she will eventually cry herself to sleep. If you have to, take her to the store, and have her choose something new as a comfort item...a new stuffed animal or something.

But at this age, you may need to play the bad guy and just say enough is enough. If you keep giving in when she screams for it, she will start using that to her advantage for other things too.

Good luck to you!

Christina - posted on 06/12/2011

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I took my daughter to the dentist for her check up right before her 4th birthday and he told her right away that he knew she still used a binky because her teeth and if she continued to use one that she wouldnt be able to eat her favorite foods anymore and would have to wear metal braces. She asked if she could have it for one last night, came to me the next morning and handed it over. No crying. Maybe it would help her to hear it from someone else...they can tend to tune us out after a while. Maybe you can wean it from her? My daughter wanted it everywhere, then we limited it to car/naps/bedtime...then just naps/bedtime...then just bedtime. Maybe thats why it was easier? When you get to that point, invite a friend over for a sleepover and maybe she will be too embarrassed. Good luck!

[deleted account]

my daughter was the same but we had decided by her 3rd birthday she would have to have given it up. for about a month before we would tell her to put it on the window cill in the morning for the fairies to collect for any crying babies in the land. they would always return it in time for her to go to bed. when we decided it was time, we told her the fairies must have forgotten to return it because a crying baby must have still needed it. she would keep asking for it during the evening and we'd keep checking the window cill but it still wasn't returned. by day 3 she readily accepted our story that there must be a baby that needed it and she even stopped asking for it. believe me, we count our lucky stars we had it so easy..

Alisha - posted on 06/12/2011

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Never ask your child, you are the paretn.. you tell them no and just stop it right away. That is damaging her to have it at her age.. She will probably be mad at you when she is an adult for having it at 6 years old.

Jaylea - posted on 06/10/2011

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I really have to agree with Jennifer G. Take the dummy away and if she has a fit, leave her to it but check up on her every now and then. She will get over it, but it will take her some time. You have to stick with it and don't give in to her. Good luck!

Beth - posted on 06/10/2011

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My sister-in-law and I both cut the tops off. Then went with a "Oh it's broken and you can't have another one" After an hour it was a thing of the past.

Marsha - posted on 06/09/2011

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My daughter was 4.5 yr old when I misplaced her last one. I put it up so my 18 mo old niece wouldn't loose it while my sister and I were setting up for a yard sale. When bed time came 2 hours later, I couldn't remember where I "hid" it at....litterly. It was a rough few nights, but she still says "I wish I still had my binkie". And "I'm going to save up my money and buy myself a binkie"...yeah, like I'm going to let that happen LOL

Julie - posted on 06/09/2011

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I also have heard about putting a cut in it, & try telling her that is what happens when they suck on it to much. I just took it away from my child. It was 3 nights of crying himself to sleep - ugh! But it only took 3 nights (nights were harder than days). Good luck!!

Jennie - posted on 06/09/2011

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I have 4 children. My first 2 never used one and the last 2 did. By the time they were 8 months old, I took them away. When they become older, obviously it becomes harder because it becomes a habit for them. I have absolutely no suggestions except, take it, throw it out and tell her/him, its gone and do not give in. Good Luck :o)

Jackie - posted on 06/09/2011

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I just took my daughters binkie away about 5 months ago she is only 2 but I see the damage it is doing to her teeth,so she was down to her last one because of course I always had back up binkie's, down to the last one and I cut the little nub off the top without her knowing and no more binkie sence then! worked great! good luck!!!!

Melodie - posted on 06/08/2011

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I just told my son. It got lost and I'm not buying anymore. He was upset for one night he cried for about an hour, but he got over it. Sometimes you just have to take it away.

Sara - posted on 06/07/2011

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I would say take it away from her and let her cry it out. be there for her and spend time wiht her. let her know she will be ok without it, reassurance is important.

Carree - posted on 06/07/2011

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yea i tried that said if she sent santa her dummy then he'd give her lots of presents she just said she didnt need presents only her dummy really all out of ideas on this one.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 06/07/2011

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I kinda forgot mine back when my now 6 year old was 3 on a trip to the other side of New York. She wasn't too thrilled but she got over it. Have you tried telling her you mailed it to the Tooth Fairy or Santa Clause?

Carree - posted on 06/07/2011

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i tried that also said her friends would laugh if they knew she then told them they did laugh but she still said she didnt care ive tried asking her to give it up for santa and the easter bunny but shes still yet too

Sara - posted on 06/07/2011

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OH ok... i took violets away from her when she was 4. thought she would never get rid of it. it may sound mean but i told her that she was a big girl now and that big girls didnt use them. asked her if any of her friends had them she replied no. so we threw them away. she was ok at first then cried her eyes out. after a HARD week she was ok and used to not having it.

Sara - posted on 06/07/2011

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what is a "dummy"? my daughter has a purple blanket and a old stuffed dinosaur she refuses to give up. she knows that she can only have them when she goes to bed. it soothes her ive tried replacing it and that didnt work, i finally just gave up and let her have them. she has to grow out of them eventually.

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