Two moms are better than one...

Whitley - posted on 07/20/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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So our 9 yr old is going into 4th grade and our youngest is in 1st. The oldest daughter is embarassed in sharing that she has two moms with those she goes to school with. The youngest sticks up for herself and tells the kids straight up who we are and that shes glad she is different (although she has her moments too).The oldest has one best friend that knows us and spends the night. I have sat down with her and so has her mommy to discuss the subject. She says she doesn't know why she doesn't share where she comes from and who her family is... that leads me to think that she gets bullied because the other kids have seen our family at plays, conferences, etc... How should we respond, should we see what the school views on those of LGBT families, and can people just be more open about life today because it is way to short to judge others for what ever reasons.

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Amy - posted on 07/20/2013

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I would first find out if she is even being bullied. Kids have a tendency to be embarrassed of their parents, it's one of those things that comes with being a parent. It could just be the age....

Nicola - posted on 07/25/2013

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She could be going through some personal identity reflection time which is great especially as she feels she can find support talking about it with you and your family.

You sound like have a communicative and a lovely normal family in relation to the way you've gently supported her need to reach out to you for clarification.
I always appreciate when my kids tell me they're concerns or worries as it makes me know that they are growing up beautifully, and can come to me for any concerns instead of shutting things out. :)

I'd say this is one of many times where us as parents blame ourselves and think that if we wernt the way we are, or blame ourselves indirectly because of the situation were in, then things wouldn't be so hard for them.

But regardless, there's always going to be something that's keeps us questioning how things should be for our kiddies.

It's hard to know if you should alert the school of your daughters concerns, maybe a good start could be speaking with the school counsellor?
That way it's not brought to the schools attention as a massive issue, but instead it could be an extra support tool for your daughter when she is in the school environment and feels the need to pop into the counsellors office to address any issues she could be experiencing.. Including bullying if you feel that is whats happening.

The school counsellors can have a lot of pull in the school system and if they feel a concern, or if kids arnt accepting other children, they can resource social learning program's in a non direct way to build awareness and acceptance within the school.

Lovely lady keep giving your personal best :)
I'm 37 yrs old, i also have 3 brothers and my mum has a kind hearted and lovely lady partner aswel. I couldn't be happier to know that my mum is genuinely happy which makes us happy. X

Hellen - posted on 07/25/2013

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She sounds like a sensitive child, our lad is 11 hes not fazzed at all, our youngest is a baby so yet to get to this stage with him. Do you discuss this matter around her? Or when she is in the house (walls have ears!) im just wondering if she feels its a big deal for you and therefore is a big matter in her mind?
We have conversations about such matters (our lad goes to a catholic school) but never around my son, we take turns at things like parents evening ect if were working and both attend what we can together, we never make an issue of it as were just as entitled as are you two as any parent. How are the school? Do they treat you any different, how do they refer to you both to your daughter, i.e do they say your parents, or your mummies, or your mum and "name"?
Its a tough one you dont want to make a huge issue out of it but something needs to be done. Have you spoken to her teacher, and other staff she has alot of time with like assistants? Set up a meeting with them without her knowing, gauge there reactions and opinions to get a better understanding of what enviroment shes in at school, and good luck, i really wish you and your family all the best fir the future.

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Emilia - posted on 10/18/2013

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Just make sure she is not being bullied and leave her be. No offense, but I think my daughter wouldn't really feel comfortable sharing that, especially since they're kids, they might have incorrect information on the subject, or not really get it but think its wierd. As long as she's okay with you and loves you nothing to worry about, it's probably pretty normal for kids like her. :)

Amanda-rae - posted on 10/11/2013

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She is little so of course she is embaressed. But as long as you both love her like she loves you, who cares what others think! Its not their lives. Your not bad people. Just keep telling your daughter we are different but different is a good thing and she will see that as she gets older.

Whitley - posted on 07/27/2013

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Thank you ladies for your responses. I am new to this blogging stuff and just in need of advice and the comfort that we are doing it all ok and not damaging our beautiful babies. I want only the best for them and will do what I need to to provide the easiest path in life and hid the ugly things I see against me on a daily basis. Thank you again and I will be posting more I am sure as the school year starts in just a few weeks.

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