Views on holding an 8yr old back in 2nd grade.

Jessica - posted on 03/28/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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At my last parent teacher conference, my daugter's teacher informed me that she was unsure if my daughter was or would be ready to move on to 3rd grade. Her grades have been decent with honor roll all but this last report card. She does struggle but at times she totally has it together. I am unsure what to do. I don't know if I should plan to hold her back or come up with some thing to help her "click". I am up for any suggestions.

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Michelle - posted on 03/31/2010

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I had custody of my sister. in 3rd grade she struggled horribly and ihad to make the decision of whether or not i should have her held back. she was getting D's and F's. I decided not to and i sent her to summer school. When she went back to school for 4th grade she did amazing! she was 1 letter grade away from straight A's! i was skeptical because if i held her back she would not be in the same class as her friends that she had known. sometimes (not saying that her teacher is a bad teacher) the child may not click fully to the point of full understanding the way the teacher is teaching. i am going through the same thing now with my son who is 8. he had been a straight a student since kindergarten and now he is managing C's. It is kind of a bummer, but he is having a hard time keeping in what the teacher is doing, along with many other students in his class. good luck and i hope this helped you~

Angela - posted on 03/31/2010

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Lts of opposing views here! I am the opposite. If she is truly struggling then I would hold her back...hear me out. I did this with my son. He was really upset at first then he realized that school was a lot easier for him the next year, because a lot of it was review and he "got it" the second time around.I told him I didn't want him to struggle the rest of his life, instead he now feels like the smartest kid in the class. It has boosted his confidence and his grades are better then ever. You need to explain this all to her. Tell her if she wants to try again next year that she is not dumb and it is ok that she doesn't get it. Give her the chance to be sucessful, realy sucessful. Good luck to both of youI know this is a hard choice. Most importantly mom be proud that you are involved in her school and you know what is going on in her life!

Denise - posted on 03/31/2010

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Does your school district have summer school? If so maybe you might want to look into it if only you feel she needs it. But if your daughter is doing well why leave her back.Go with your gut mom you know whats best for her.

Jane - posted on 03/30/2010

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my daughter is in primary five and is 10 and she has problems with her speech and understanding of certain things the school helps her with a support team which they supply during school hours she has a speech and language therapist and a support for learning teacher who takes her out of class and works on her problem areas and it brings her well find out if the school supplies this support and ask if your daughter can be considered for it

Linda - posted on 03/30/2010

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I would see why her grades have changed. Is she depressed about something all of a sudden. Social problems at school or problems at home. Does she have friends at school. Making her stay back from those friends could result in depression and also bullying and teasing.

Jessica - posted on 03/28/2010

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Thanks Glenda and Kathryn. Its always nice to have another perspective to help ease my mind about the situation.

Kathryn - posted on 03/28/2010

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If her grades have been good enough for honor roll at the start of the year and have taken a sudden nose dive these days then I would make sure there are no other problems at school or elsewhere. Maybe she's having trouble with classmates or the teachers. I would worry that a sudden drop in grades means something deeper. I would talk with your daughter and possibly the school counselor to rule out non-academic problems. I agree with Glenda that it has to be a decision that your family makes and not the teacher's alone. Remember two things: First, if you do hold your daughter back it is not the end of the world and second, don't feel guilty, whatever you decide.

Glenda - posted on 03/28/2010

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Hi Jessica, I would not hold her back based on this conference alone. You are her mother, and you have a say in whats best for her, I want you to have a huge say in this decision., if there are areas that are new to her, and that are a challenge to her, there are MANY ways to help her, there are online study sites, homework help sites, and the library, but you are her biggest help, I hope you agree that you know her better than anyone, and, I would ask the teacher to determine her passing based on the entire years grades and performance, and not just areas of challenge. Dont listen to people who will try to sell the idea of adhd, although I believe, this is a real disorder, I also believe that it is over used as a quick fix, I would limit TV time, and video game time to no more than a small amount each day, and use rewards for good grades, lots, lots of praise, and one on one time, I know you will do great, good luck, glenda

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