wat to do when u r guardian of a 12year old and she still visit her family and she they stuff her head with nagative

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Rochell - posted on 09/15/2011

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I always defeat the negatives with positives.. and as awful and hard as this might be.... I never speak negatively about their "Other" family and say things like.... they must have had a bad day... sorry they are saying things like that.. but you have a good head on your shoulders.. Sadly.. some folks thrive on the negative because they are miserable and want to bring everyone else down. Your daughter will understand more and respect you for not bashing them as well ... as to my 15 and 14 year old are finally beginning to understand and will make their own choices on how they feel about it without you having to say anything.

Caroline - posted on 09/14/2011

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I have trouble with my 7 yr old adjusting when he comes back from visits with his Dad's family. I say the best way to deal with it is to spend time talking with her about it. Encourage her to express how their views and comments make her feel, tell her what you might say instead, remind her that there are different ways to respond to the world, some more functional than others... and be a good example. Model the behavior you'd like to see in her. Also, getting her involved in a religious youth group at an active church (or synagogue if you prefer?) might give her access some good friends to support her in healthy ways, and show her a culture of respect that she can choose to model her behavior after. Good luck!

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