what are everyones views on spanking?

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TealRose - posted on 03/21/2011

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I am 56 and a grandmother. I cringe when I hear of anyone talking of hitting a child. I was spanked my parents lost me from day one. They lost my trust, love and respect. I don't respect ANYONE that hits anyone else. I learned fear, pain, anger, hate and resentment. My parents never regained my love or respect. My mother when asked about it a few years ago said that I was happy and fine with it. I wasn't, I was a seething mass, and a very unhappy little girl. And I am still resentful at losing my childhood to what I feel was abuse and totally unnecessary.

I am so upset to see parents still dragging out the same tired old 'arguments' for spanking. Touching the hot stove. Most modern stoves do not burn. If they do, or your child is adept at opening the door, the put her in a high chair, or the playpen! If it climbs on a chair - where are YOU in all this? It must take a 2 yr old an AGE to drag a chair acroos the kitchen... and place it just so .. and then climb up on it !! And why is the electrical socket not covered with a safety plug?? Isn't it our job as the parent to make sure our little one is safe? Isn't it our job to make sure that they don't run in the road? Why should a child be hit just because YOU are embarrassed?

You cannot 'spank with love' - no more than you can 'spank your wife with love' it is just NOT right, it is hitting. I despair of the human race when an adult, even a criminal may not be hit, nor an animal, but if I use the magic word 'discipline' - which means to teach btw - in some places hitting a child suddenly becomes de rigueur and fine!

I never spanked my children and they are now fine gentle adults. My daughter also is bringing up her two children without hitting them. Teaching them instead of bullying.

Sasha - posted on 07/24/2009

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Honestly u do what works for you. I have a 3 strikes your out rule #1 is I'll warn you! #2 is I'll put you in quiet time #3 is I swat your butt. Don't beat them! Just swat their butt. I grew up in an abusive household so I know that beating them just makes them afraid of you. You don't fear you want respect

Angie - posted on 07/24/2009

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Honestly, children need disapline and I never hesitated to swat my children on the but when they needed it. I think thats whats wrong with all the kids these days they don't have disapline. Don't get me wrong I use time out too and no I don't beat them but I don't see nothing wrong with a spanking.

Sylvia - posted on 11/09/2011

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I think it's mean, counterproductive, and shows a lack of both empathy and imagination.

I am fortunate to live in a place where hitting children is generally not considered socially acceptable, so this is not an argument I ever have to have IRL. I don't know anyone IRL who spanks their kids as a form of discipline.

I believe very strongly that kids need discipline, boundaries, and rules. We have rules and boundaries. Every parent I know makes rules, enforces boundaries, and disciplines their kids. Some do it better than others, granted; none of them do it by hitting. I think for the vast majority of us, the question simply doesn't arise.

Look, when I'm at work, I don't hit my staff to get them to meet deadlines. (Would that work? Of course not. They'd quit and I'd get fired, and probably sued.) I don't hit my husband to get him to wash the dishes. (Would that work? Of course not. I'd end up divorced.) If we had a dog, I wouldn't hit him to get him to come when I call. (Would that work? Of course not. The dog would either bite a big hole in my arm or run away and never come back.) I don't hit the cashier at the grocery store to get her to scan my groceries faster. I don't hit the bus driver when he forgets I rang the bell and goes by my stop. I don't hit my brother to get him to email me more often. So why should I need to rely on brute force to enforce rules on a person who weighs less than 50 pounds? Surely I can raise a responsible, compassionate, considerate person without resorting to violence.

To be honest, I find it kind of mind-boggling that this is still a topic of controversy in a developed country like the US. I'm sorry if that offends people.

Jenn - posted on 03/21/2011

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I personally do not agree with spanking, as I feel that it is hypocritical to tell a child not to hit and that hitting is not the right way to express your emotions, that you need to talk, yet when they misbehave or make the parent angry, what does the parent do? Spank them, which is hitting no matter how you look at it. What kind of mixed up message does this send to a child? Don't hit others when your angry but when I make mommy angry she hits me..This method teaches children to use violence to deal with their problems and emotions. It is possible to have a very effective discipline method WITHOUT hitting a child at all. Younger children rarely need more than some form of a time out,or time to be removed from the situation and calm down. They need clear rules, as well as clear consequences, and as soon as that rule is broken consequences need to be put into effect quickly and carried out fully. As a child gets older parents can begin taking away privileges or possessions, etc. The biggest problem that parents have when it comes to disciplining their children is CONSISTENCE. Many parents give a child ten warning for the same thing before finally putting the consequence into effect, and then they usually dont follow through with it fully. Almost all forms of discipline (BESIDES slapping) do work. Parents are simply not consistent with it and expect an overnight solution. It takes time and you have to be persistent and on top of it, but it will work. Home is supposed to be a place of safety and comfort, where children feel most relaxed, a child should not have to worry about getting slapped by their mommy or daddy. How would you feel if a teacher spanked your child if they misbehaved at school??

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Deborah - posted on 11/18/2011

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We have a no hitting rule in our house. My husband and I don't hit each other, we don't hit the kids, they don't hit us. We don't hit our animals. We just don't lay hands on other people. It doesn't fit with our parenting philosophy.

My children are very well behaved. Their teachers comment on it, my in laws comment on it, strangers in the store comment on it! You don't need to hit your children for them to be well behaved. I have three children aged 20, 9 and 8 and we've never had a problem with out of control behavior from any of them, even my oldest all through his teenage years.

Diane - posted on 11/07/2011

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There is a fine line between a swat on the butt and a spanking and abuse. NEVER should a child be spanked shook or screamed at. Both of my daughters were raised without corporal punishment and if anyone had laid a hand on them I'd have beat that person half to death! Their punishment was a corner with their nose on the wall. When they got older the punishment became age appropriate. If they didn't keep their rooms clean and I cleaned them then anything I found on the floor was game for the trash. And believe me they didn't get it back. I bought it I had the right to throw it away. Today both of my daughters are business women and I have one grand daughter that is raised the same way. My son in law spanked my grand daughter once and I made it very clear if it happened again it would be the last time he hit anyone. My daughter got the message too!! It is not necessary and a lazy parent uses it for quick punishment so they don't have to spend the time investing in the child's learning of right and wrong. Lazy parents hit their children. Simple as that.

Tabitha - posted on 11/03/2011

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Spanking is just one of those things parents have to use their better judgement on. I was raised by my grandparents and before that I came from a pretty abusive home. Now, there was times when my granny took it a bit too far, but that's neither here nor there. I learned my lesson (sometimes the hard way) and I believe that no matter what I have turned out to be a better person regardless of what happened in my childhood.

That being said, I do spank my children. We have a "5 Count Rule" in our house. I, or their father, count down from 5 to 1, and if I get to 1 and the behavior that should not have happened in the first place is Still occurring, then out comes the switch. They get 1 single swat on their hiney, and then when things settle we discuss everything that's happened and why they got a swat in the first place. My kids have learned that it's best to stop whatever they're doing wrong and then talk about that and why it's inappropriate in the first place. I will admit that the last trip to the grocery store, my eldest daughters were showing their ever loving butt so bad my patience was at it's very end and I broke out the, "I swear to all things holy if you don't act right, RIGHT NOW! I'm going to tear your butts up in-front of God and Everybody!" Now, in the south, this is something we've grown up hearing quite a bit and I think it's the third time I've ever had to pull it out of my Mommy Arsenal. The cashier, a woman about 15 or 20 years older than me, looked at me and laughed so hard she cried and told me, "Lord! I haven't heard that since my kids were little." Now when we got home, we did sit down and talk about why that kind of horrible disrespectful behavior is not allowed or tolerated THEN! they each got 3 swats. Why? Because I'll be flat out damned if my kids act like the little hooligans that I see running around demanding this and that from their parents and ordering their elders around. Not no, but HELL NO. I refuse to allow my children to act like or believe that they are the boss in this house, and there have been many a times when I've had to use, "I am the supreme ruler of your little universe and you'd better start acting right!" As far as my kids are concerned, I hung the moon, sun, stars and make the world go 'round, because I am their mother and I will have the respect that is due to me. I will also make sure that my kids grow up to respect themselves, respect others around them, and to be responsible for their own actions. There are times when a swat is administered to simply make them realize that this is the consequence of an action and they are taking the responsibility for it. For instance, my eldest daughter chopped her sister's hair off (this was a big issue because her sister JUST started growing a good head of hair at three years old!!!!!! It was sooo pretty!!!). So I trimmed Lola's hair up and then Aubrey got her swat. Why? Because she was responsible for the damage done to her sister's hair.

Kids these days have no realization of actions and consequences. I see a lot of parents who aren't teaching their children that and I wonder if it's because they had no concept of this as a child either? Much less the fact that a lot of the kids running around all over the stores and malls have zero respect for anyone or anything they have. That makes me want to strangle those kids and their parents, because flat out - they should be ashamed of themselves! I'm rambling and ranting and I apologize! This whole "To Spank vs Not To Spank" thing gets my blood boiling, hehe! :)

Marquita - posted on 11/03/2011

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I am not really convinced that beating children changes behavior. This question really depends on what you consider spanking??? I rarely hit my son if I have had enough I usually pop his little hands or butt, but usually I like to wait until he calms down so that I can talk to him. I agree with Sasha I never want my son to be afraid of me. I want him to give me the respect as his mother but I want him to feel comfortable talking to me.

Miranda - posted on 10/30/2011

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I think spanking is needed at times but it should always be done when you are calm and not angry other wise you teach you child that when they get angry they hit and before spanking talk to your child about why they are getting a swat and other ways to avoid whatever wrong it was they did in hopes they will learn to not make the same mistakes

Dee - posted on 10/29/2011

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spanking should be the LAST resort and only when they are young...there are so many better tools to use...my girls used to shape up when they thought i was going to take away their dressup dresses lol

Helen - posted on 08/02/2009

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I have two kids - 9 and 4 years old, and have no problem providing a swat on the butt if after the first request, second firm reminder and no change in behaviour, a swat it is. No wooden spoons or implements, just my hand. I'm sensitive to the fine line of what constitutes too much (no hitting on anything else but the butt - no head, etc.) but for my children, they know what the boundaries are when it reaches a spanking - and they learn their lesson and do not repeat the behaviour again.

I roll my eyes when I hear soft parents calmly trying to rationalize, remind for the 15th time, or debate with a child when their behaviour is just intolerable or affecting others. Parents are to be parents, not acquiesing power to their children or negotiating with children. We're not our children's friends or buddies - we are supposed to teach, nurture, guide and provide clear boundaries of what constitutes good citizenship, polite and respectful behaviour in a diverse and global society.

I applauded when our Canadian Supreme Court upheld parents' right to spank a few years ago - but I certainly cringe when I see footage of parents taking it too far. There is a fine line between spanking providing a final say and a teachable moment, to parents lacking anger management and taking their insecurities and control issues out on innocents.

Amber - posted on 08/02/2009

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Depending on the situation, when they are younger, if there in a dangerous situation, like when you tell them not to do something that can cause them harm, for example, my youngest, who is 2, likes to open the oven when it's on, or climb up on a chair while the burner is hot on the stove. When they're a little older and if they know the difference in what's right and wrong and just don't listen to you, then that deserves a spanking if you've had to tell them more than once or twice and they still don't listen after you've tried other forms of punishment, like taking away a favorite toy.

Courtney - posted on 08/02/2009

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We don't spank in our household, and my friends and family will tell you that Julia is one of the most well behaved kids you'll ever meet. I respect my child's right to her body, just as she respects me as her parent and authority figure. Might be because I'm an atheist, but my parenting style tends to fall more towards logical consequences for actions taken. I wasn't spanked as a child, either, and I am a successful adult. I always hear from people online (I frequent other mommy boards) saying that the kids today who are misbehaving are the kids who aren't spanked, but in all honesty the kids I do know who misbehave the most often are the ones who are spanked.

Jodi - posted on 08/02/2009

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I have spanked my children, but very very rarely. Generally it has only ever been for safety reasons, when the message has needed to be commucated with immediacy. I am not against spanking, but I actually find most other things work with my kids. But every child is different - I have disciplined each of my children in different ways, because different things worked for them. Spanking has not often been an option I've needed to reach for.



In Australia, it is against the law to spank a child with any sort of implement, and spanking is only allowed to take place pretty much on the butt or it is considered abuse. I agree with this - I think more than a couple of swipes on the butt with an open hand is more than is necessary.



As parents, we know what works best for our own children. Sometimes, kids may need a swat on the butt. Some kids need it more often than others, and some kids never need it.

Betty - posted on 08/01/2009

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THIS IS TO THE SARAH B. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU OR ANYONE REFER TO ANOTHER CHILD AS A "BASTARD". ONCE I READ THAT I COULD NOT BELIEVE THE LANGUAGE AND TERMS YOU USE TO DESCRIBE A CHILD. THEY ARE CHILDREN NOT BASTARDS OR OTHER NAMES!

Yohnnilee - posted on 07/31/2009

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Wow! The majority have said "Yes" to spankings! This amazes me especially in this day and age! There's a state or two that it is actually illegal to spank your kids there! With all the @$$#0!3$ out there threatening to call Protective Services on people for witnessing a spanking or a correction of any kind I'm impressed that there are still so many old fashioned parents. Kudos to you! I worked in a grocery store for about two years, pre and post pregnancy/baby/kid. During my time there I got to see the likes of children whose parents didn't believe in spankings. One boy actually threw an item at me and the mother simply gave a look as if, 'he does that all the time' and went about loading my lane with groceries. If my son would've done that I would've corrected him immediately and explained to him why he is not to do that. I do know one thing for sure, all children, like all adults, are all different. No one child is like another. For some children the worst thing in the world to them would be sending them to their room, or taking a favorite toy away, or sitting in time-out, but for others I do believe a spanking is necessary. I do not believe in beating your child. I also do not believe in using 'items' to spank your child, such as a belt, and if you're leaving marks & bruises on your kid then you're definately hitting too hard. It's all well and good to establish a loving relationship with your children, but you have to draw the line somewhere. You're not there to be their best friend, you're their parent and all that they learn first they learn from you. If you don't teach your child right from wrong then who will? They need discipline as much as they need love and I find that explaining to them what they did to deserve whichever punishment you use and why that is not proper behavior works wonders. But seriously, I've worked in the customer service industry long before I was ever a mom and I still work it now 5 years later so I can attest to the fact that sometimes the problem comes from children that were not spanked.

Hello Madea!

Julie - posted on 07/31/2009

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really sarah thats a great article but i am a normal adult that was spanked as a child... and i know plenty that were not that suffer from more of these problems

Sarah - posted on 07/31/2009

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Statistics on spanking (compiled from over 100 studies combined):
Children who are spanked are shown to display:
many emotional & social problems, impaired parent/child relationships, lower IQ, increased aggressiveness, behavior problems, learning problems, lower academic scores, antisocial behavior, depression problems, more likely to suffer from addictions & commit domestic abuse, prone to be angry and show less long term compliance. Not a single study shows ANY benefit that cannot be achieved from other non-violent forms of discipline. Not all adults who are corporally punished as kids have all these problems, but not all people who smoke get lung cancer either. It's not a good thing...

Sarah - posted on 07/31/2009

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There are times when it is necessary, in my opinion. I see kids all the time, sassing back, giving their parents orders, screaming and wrecking things in stores...kids are out of control and parents feel helpless. When I hear children at the grocery screaming "BUY ME THIS NOWNOWNOWNOW!" I want to slap the little bastard myself, right after I slap his parents.
I think if parents can't teach their kids to act decently in public, to speak respectfully to their elders, those parents should keep their children at home and not inflict them on society. My husband and I have 4 children, and I will honestly say not one of them would ever think to act like they see their friends acting, talking back to teachers and whatnot. Our kids are so well trained, they cringe when they hear these horrible children.
How'd we do it? Judicious application of a hand to the clothed back side. Getting your arse tanned in back of the store is a hell of a deterrent.

Parents have lost control, teachers have lost control. Thousands of thousands of students over history have received corporal punishment in schools; not too many grew up to be all scarred from the experience. Many many generations of children were hauled out of Church to have their ass leathered by their father for not sitting still, and not too many of them grew up to be serial killers, right? Spanking is not beating. Spanking is not an act of violence, when it is done in punishment and not retribution. Hitting your kids to get back at them or to take out your frustrations is wrong. But a firm smack or two on the softest, fattest part of the body?

Spare the rod; make the kid into a useless human being.

Jayme - posted on 07/31/2009

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I do spank sometimes out of anger but I do believe that kids tend to hit more if they were spanked. Time out seems to work better.

Jenn - posted on 07/31/2009

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I found that using sitting on a step works best for my 3.5 year old, we tried a spanking on the bottom or pinch on the bum but I found my daughter copies what we do , I feel that parents are just showing their children bad behavior of hitting people this may work for other kids , but my daughter imitate what we do and I dont want her going around hitting people

Kimberly - posted on 07/31/2009

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I have three children 16, 10, and 7. I don't think there is anything wrong with "spanking" your child. There are a few people that have taken it overboard and they are the reason people don't believe in spanking. Back in the day my grandmother would have us go pull off a switch and spank us with it. You better get a good one. That is what is wrong with Americans today. Not enough disipline. They kids today are rude and think they can get away with anything. And really they can...by the law also. Why? Because we as Americans have backed down and said it is O.K. Well it's not O.K. in my book. Spank Them People...They Need It....

Melissa - posted on 07/30/2009

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I believe in spanking and do so when necessary with my son. Although I prefer not to since I cry privately also and always feel sorry after. But raising an upcoming young man mostly on my own, since his Dad is away a lot, calls for a firm hand - literally. What I would advise though is 1. Do not spank in anger 2. Do not ever cross that very thin line between spanking and abuse... swat on the butt or on the hand should do it... the purpose of spanking i believe is not to inflict pain, but to show that I am extremely serious and what you did goes way beyond timeout or punishment.

Aislynn - posted on 07/30/2009

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I spank my kids. There are many lessons that can be taught with a time-out, a good talking to or loss of priviledges. However, there are some lessons you want your child to learn quickly and those I get across with a spank. Example: Your child runs into the middle of the street. Do you talk to them about it, knowing that only one talking to will not do the trick? Or do you smack their rears so that the rethink going into the street? I'd rather have a child with a sore bottom than one in traction because I didn't teach that lesson quickly or effectively enough. And before you think that I just send them out to play unsupervised, please know that I *do* watch them, however, contrary to popular belief, not all moms have eyes in the back of their heads.

Michelle - posted on 07/30/2009

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My feelings about spanking is "what does it show your child"!?!? That's ok to hit if someone is being naughty or not listening!?!?! Isn't spanking it's own form of bullying?!?

Dee - posted on 07/30/2009

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My children are older (10 & 12) but I did spank them a few times when they were younger. I usually use time-outs and punishment but sometimes a little spanking is just whats needed.

Jackie - posted on 07/30/2009

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Not spanking is what is wrong with some of these naughty ass kids out there corrupting the kids that do have limits and displeane and mean ass mamma's who check them! As my kids got older, the occasional spanking has gone to rare spankings. The older they get, the more the evil mamma eye and taking away their things works wonders. But boy when they were younger, I checked my kids with warnings and if the warnings went beyond 3 times, it was a swat or two on their back sides. And I also did that in public! Humilation works wonders especially when combined with spanking in public. To this day, my children act like fools in public, I treat them like fools in public. Needless to say my kids are now to the age they dont' want mom embarssing them so they act like decent kids in public now.

Stacey - posted on 07/29/2009

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I have two children; one 21 in college and one 6 who is just entering first grade. I spanked my son once when he was a toddler and never did it again, I felt terrible. To date I have never spanked my daughter, I find talking and redirection works. Don't expect them to change overnight that's unrealistic, they are children. I believe children who are spanked tend to be hitters themselves. In short, I don't like it.

Marlarrie - posted on 07/29/2009

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I will spank my kids when needed. There's nothing wrong with it as long as the parent doesn't get abusive. I think if more kids got spanked there wouldn't be so many discipline problems with kids today. My mom spanked me as a kid and I turned out OK...never been in trouble with the law and have always respected my elders.

KATINA - posted on 07/29/2009

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i feel that a spankin is not abusive and i do use it as a last resort!!! i hate it though but sometimes its all that works.

[deleted account]

I have found with my three, the only way to get them to listen is to spank. I have tried time out and my oldest says oooh that hurts and my oldest son laughs. It has been the olny thing that works here. I am all for it as long as your not using a belt or a stick. Spank away!

Megan - posted on 07/29/2009

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spanking is a last step in my house. when talking, scolding and loss of "electronic entertainment" does not work, then sometimes, they get a swat..in the worst of times, 3 swats for repeated behavior issues. most kids(who have no developmental delays) know what the rules are, and know when you truely mean business. the hard part is staying consistant.

Ann - posted on 07/29/2009

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The only time I agree with spanking a child is when they do something that endangers themselves or others. I wasnt spanked very much as a child and I am a decent respectable human being. I think parents spank mostly because they are irritated or angry and thats wrong. There are plenty of options for discipline. My daughter is very respectful and well behaved. I think that is because I have talked to her so much. I see other kids out in public backtalking their parents and they will spank them. Mine doesnt do that. I just dont think spanking is the answer. Thats just my opinion.

Michelle - posted on 07/29/2009

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I think kids should be spanked, sparingly. I was spanked PLENTY of times, and I don't feel I was abused in any way, shape or form. Kids need to know who's the boss...and it's not them.

I suggest a spank (ONE) after they do something really wrong. Then go back and discuss why they were spanked after they are more reasonable to deal with.

Jennifer - posted on 07/28/2009

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I don't think it's a good idea, but then I also don't use time outs. Call me a radical hippie wacko, but I feel it's more important to create a loving bond with the child than to control them all the time. My son gets compliments all the time on his behavior, whereas I see the children who are spanked being difficult to manage. The difference is, they are always looking to their parents to figure out whether to do something, whereas my son has developed his own sense of right and wrong by example and gentle guidance.

Nukesha - posted on 07/28/2009

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I see nothing wrong with swatting a child on their bottom if need be. I'm not for excessive swatting but children do need discipline and let's face it. Taking away items and time out doesn't work for every child.

April - posted on 07/28/2009

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it needs to cum back i do it if not you will end up with kids running all over you

Amy - posted on 07/28/2009

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I think a spanking ever once in a while will let them know who is in charge and remind them that they can't get away with anything they want. That is what is wrong with kids today they have been told in school that a spanking is abuse and therefore they tell their parents if you spank me I will tell my teacher. If you believe what they say then they are in charge and they run you. You have to remind them that they are the child and you are the adult.

Kim - posted on 07/28/2009

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I do believe that there is no one discipline approach for every child. With that said, I believe that spanking teaches a child that it is okay to hit when someone does something wrong. I do not want my children to hit, so I use different discipline approaches. I also don't want my child to view me, personally as a discipline tool. I have found that the use of consequences work better for both of my daughters. If I take something away that they really love, then they understand the consequence of their actions. I also try to explain what is expected of them and then follow through if they don't. I don't threaten, I act! I see that lots of threats used by parents that so notfollow through.

Mirna - posted on 07/28/2009

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I'd say go for it! but I personally talk to them, once, twice and there's no third time. First time is a very nice talk usually they do understand and don't do it again, the second time I give them crazy eyes........jejejejeje. Yeah, that works too. I rarely need the third option. Give it a try, without yelling or screaming because they'll get used to that and the house would be chaos with the yelling. But yes I do spank my children when necessary, or the side burn pulling is pretty bad too without getting too physical.

Laura - posted on 07/28/2009

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I'd say use it when it's absolutely needed. My daughters used to throw terrible tantrums. Sometimes it was practically impossible to get them to react, so I'd use one smack on their bottom and it was "back to reality" time. Then I talked to them to get them to calm down. It's been a long time since I have had the need to spank, but when it's needed it takes a reminder. I figured out that it works best to take away what they like the most. My mother was extremely harsh and it originated anger on my part. Again, I would say use it when it is absolutely necessary and please do it in the privacy of your home, never in front of friends and family.

Christy - posted on 07/27/2009

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I have the greatest and i do mean greatest respect from my kids after spanking them. They may cut up and act like kids but as far as being embrassing and having me to do a time out, no sir. I believe when you spank your kids it puts a balance in them that distinguishing them from being that kid and you being the parent. You can talk and count all day but that one look or a good stern hand on the tale is so much better than all that talking. When my kids act a fool, i talk with them first and let them know the standard at our house. So when they get a spanking it is because they have violated a standard in our house: for example, no cursing, fighting, lying, running, or tearing up stuff. You have to clean up and dont ever talk back or disrespcet anyone. Violate these standards and its time to talk by telling you what you did and then you need to lay down on the bed so that i can leave an imprint in your head so next time you even think about going there, this rod will always be a reminder. I believe this sets up a reminder for kids to have boundaries and to learn how to establish standards for themselves and even for their own families to come. Now when my kids go over someone elses house they see very easy and you can ask them, "No Standards and i have to tell them to whisper and not talk about people although we might be blessed and have standards, everybody else might not. Its all about establishing a standard and leaving a lasting imprint that no matter what, they are going to walk the way i have trained and disciplined them. Daddy and I. With my husband, they have even a greater respect with him and even have the best of relationship with him. He may spank them and yes he will but at the same time, he will spend hours playing with them. Its got to be a balance, not just instill fear but love and discipline. My kids are the clay and with God i am the hands that mold them until they get out of our house. So yes, i dont mind putting my hands on them.
A woman after God own heart "The bible instructs us to spank our kids to keep them from becoming fools who will despise understanding and bring a mom and dad shame pain." Collaboration of scriptures. I will get them for you if you need them, all in proverbs about wayward kids who despise discipline.

Brittany - posted on 07/27/2009

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I was beat with everything under the sun as a child, but it didn't make me against spanking... I agree with it 100%!!!

Staci - posted on 07/27/2009

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i got 3 boys ages 11,8, and 5 . i give the a warning, time out, and then a swat on the butt if the warn and time doesnt work, and most of the time it doesnt. my kids r hard head just like me and thier dad. and if they still dont listen the tv,vidoe games, and computer gets taken away.
Heck i was wipe as a kid and i didnt turn out to bad.

Crystal - posted on 07/27/2009

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I do not believe in spanking.

My kids behave quite well and I don't need to hit them for them to behave. Discipline is definitely needed but it doesn't have to be hitting your kids.

Think about this, the only group of people that are legally allowed to be hit in America is children.

[deleted account]

Just be sure that you are not spanking in anger. Spanking should also be saved for the big wrongs. Some things can be taken care of with a stern voice and time out. If that doesn't work, then the spank. Also, I went straight to the spank when my daughter was putting herself or others in danger (walking into the street, reaching for a hot stove, etc)



My daughter was in the grocery store once and got mad over something and started throwing things. I swatted her bottom and held her by the wrist until she calmed down. I had someone threaten to call protective services because her hand was red. I explained that her hand was red because she was pulling away and if I let go, she would throw things. Once she knew what was going on, she understood and said she was sorry.



We do need to be careful as to how we discipline in public, but sometimes it really needs to be done. If you are doing nothing wrong, then you have nothing to fear. Let them call protective services.

Jamie - posted on 07/27/2009

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I do belive in spanking, i would swat there butts when they were younger, now that there getting older the punishments are changing, becuse they work better. I belive that most kids dont get dispiline and thats the problem, when they were younger i would fo the 1,..2... 3.. and if they didnt stoped they would get a swat, never hard enough to actaully hurt them, but enough to let them know i mean buiness, now that there getting older, things change and difftent things work, my 6 year old is very hiper and hates to have to sit in time out, so thats what happens, and my 8 year old, i take things away, and depending on what she did, she'll have to right a appolgy letter to the pearson. i swear if you take her vidio games away, you would think the world just ended.

Becca - posted on 07/27/2009

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I think that what works for you, is what you should do. I have spanked my children, I have 3 boys 11,8,7almost. We have gotten to a point that taking a phone away works for the older one, and toys or bike from the other two. You can do many other punishments. Like extra chores, stand in time out, write a letter to the person they hurt, or have them do exercises till they tell the truth on something. We have done this with the boys and it really works. Have them stand with there arms up& out to the side and make them hold them till some talks. They will start to work as a team. I always back up with why they got in trouble, they have to say sorry ,ask for forgiveness, and I never forget to say that I love them. But even with all of that sometimes they do get a spanking, but they always know I love them.

Katie - posted on 07/26/2009

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Spanking is okay, but it seems like it only comes to that when the parents feel like they can't control their child. I read and follow the 123 Magic method. It works well I rarely get to the spanking point. You need to do what works for you and your household. The phase that has been popular the last lil while is no hitting, but look at the disrepectful children in our communities. They can get away with anything by screaming abuse, it's pathetic. Back when we all grew up, you got the belt for doing things half as bad as the things we as adults want to spank for. Good luck!

Mary - posted on 07/26/2009

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We have a "one warning rule" at home so if they go beyond what they know is reasonable behavior they receive a punnishment...it might be a writing assignment ( usually having to do w/ the wrong act), donating their allowance to a charrity, doing extra chores...yucky borring ones, missing out on activites, and loss of priveliges...NOTE: This takes time and patience to really be put into affect as they need to know you mean business when you SAY what's coming...can take a good 3 weeks to become affective...but so worth it in the end...and yes, when when i am premenstral and and all of my buttons have been pushed and we already have a few of the above mentioned in place...i spank! Just a swat or two on the butt can really do the trick in a pinch however it is not my first weapon...and most importantly...LOVE...taking the time to correct behavior with education (talking about what and why) and kindness is good for them now and better for them later.

One more important thing..when they KNOW my expectations..they are more likely to act accordingly...i figured this out the hard way..so start in the begining making sure they know your idea of right and wrong and so on. Hope this helps : )

My parents spanked us all the time but never gave us reasons or warnings...we visit them on Holidays but we are not close...my husbands parents are the ones who get to see the kids and be the awsome grandparents...kids don't forget that stuff. I didn't.

Shawna - posted on 07/26/2009

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I agree with spanking. I have also used timeouts, total lockdowns ( I like that phrase ), and taking away privileges. With my son, who is almost 12, I found that taking away his psp, or any other game system, wasn't working; so I then told him that he couldn't go to work with his Dad, which meant that he couldn't make any money. That did it. He realized that I was serious about his grades coming up. He even told, tearfully, " I didn't think you would ever take that from me. " I told him that school came first, then everything else and that he was getting to big for me to spank, that I had to find ways to get through to him that I meant what I said. I also agree that there are too many children that lack discipline and need a firmer hand. Like other Moms have said, you don't have to beat them, and there is a difference.

LATIA - posted on 07/26/2009

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i think kids need a firm hand.i dont think twice when it comes to my son.if he does something wrong he gets it...but i also take the time to explain to him what he did wrong and what he could of done instead.spanking doesnt correct the issue if they dont know what the issue was.....talk to your children too....they understand...and it really helps

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