What are some good disipline tips when my kids talk back to me or won't listen?

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Kristin - posted on 06/05/2012

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My 6 yr old is also ADHD and is in behavior classes and they taught parents how to cope better with bad behavior and the worst thing to do is yell back and let them get away with it. Stay calm, firm and consistent and remeber bad behavior has bad consequences and good behavior has good consequences.

Kristin - posted on 06/05/2012

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When my kids talk back or dont listen I take a deep breathe to stay calm and ask them why they are not listening or talking back, if it persists they are sent to their rooms on a time out. I usually count to 3 for my 6 yr old. He know once i hit 3 its in his room he goes and is not allowed out until he apologizes and we can talk about his bad behavior, I also take things away from him, like a trip to the park or a treat etc. I do not believe in hitting and for me taking things away works well. I stay firm and stand my ground and my kids know that bad behavior does not get rewarded and that seems to help them listen and be more respectful. I did this with my oldest son who is now 16 and he is always respectful and listens to me, and i also listen to what my kids have to say. Not to say my kids are perfect because they have their days too but overall they are pretty good and I dont have the problems with my teen other parens seem to have. But you have to stay consistent and be firm when they are young so they learn.

Ginger - posted on 06/02/2012

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When my kiddo talks back, I pause for a quick moment (mostly to gather my poise) then tell him that people don't listen to that kind of talk and i won't respond to it. So he needs to rephrase his words and ask or answer nicely. It seems to work for him. Once my kiddo stops and realizes how he sounds it usually helps him. If that wasn't enough. I go into detail about how would you feel if someone or I talked to you like that all the time? Blah blah. Then I will let him know that that was his warning the next time may result in other consequences like loosing tv, or time out. Good behavior has good consequences and bad behavior has bad consequences. Generally when i give him the respect to talk and explain things in a way he understands he seems to give me the respect back.

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Michelle - posted on 06/19/2012

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depending on how old they are. If they are real little you can just put them in sepreate room and take everything away from them so they cannot play for an hour then talk to them about what they did wrong. But if they are teens then I would suggest that you seek counsiling because it will get worse. My two boys are teens my oldes was 14 and he has Bi-polar, depression,anixty, sleeping disordor and adhd. He would sit on his brother and hit him with his fist. I would have pull him off of him, he would thow things at him. He would do these things when his brother would talk to much or for playing with the dog, when he ask him to bring something to him and he says no, or to clean his room and he says no. My youngest son was 12 and he did this for a 2 years, when I left home because I could not control him. I tried putting my oldest son in a mental home, calling the police for assult and battery because not alone he his brother he kicked me, shoved me and push his grandmother once. His grandparents told me if I filed charges on him I could pack my bags and leave and that is what I did. I never pressed charges though and my parents raise my oldest son now.

My suggest is if your children are teens to get cousiling find out why they fight and let them talk it out. They may out grow it but it could be something serious you may not be able to fix yourself.

Nicole - posted on 06/18/2012

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What about when siblings are fighting and neither will stop? What does anyone suggest. I feel like this is going to be a really long summer!!!!!

Jenny - posted on 06/18/2012

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If my kids are not listening to me, I start to whisper what it is that I am trying to tell them. it shocks them out of what ever it is they are doing and it also forces them to listen and focus on me to find out what I am saying. It is hard not yell when I am really frustrated, but I have really had much better results with the whisper :) Good luck!

Michelle - posted on 06/06/2012

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my oldest son who is 17 now, use to hit my youngest son, this was last year in Aug of 2011. My oldest son has bi polar, depression axitiy and adhd. My oldest son lives with his grandparents now, he uses nasty words to them and as far as I know does not hit them, I had to think of my youngest son so I left. I tried to put him in a mental hospital to get him help because he hit me a few times, tore up my car and not alone cussed my parents but me as well and got into fights at school. My parents chose to raise him said they could do a better job but he is now drinking and has done drugs 2x according to my parents and wrecked the car 2x.

My youngest son hit us first, we did not strick back and have not until just 2 days ago, we called the police on him 2x and the police gave us the advice. The grounding and taking things away does not work. He rebells and most of the time leaves the home and we cannot find him and he comes home at 9 p.m. curfew in our home town is 10.

Kristin - posted on 06/06/2012

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Michelle,

I do not agree with hitting children or belting them at all. Have you ever wondered why your son has hit you back? It is because you and your husband taught him it is ok to hit others which really is not good. Your son obviously has not respect for you or your husband and is very angry. I would suggest putting your children into anger management and quit hitting them as they will continue the cycle of hitting with their children, Communication with your kids is key and I have found that hitting, yelling etc gets you no where with kids. We as parents are not meant to harm or control our children we are there to guide them support them teach them right from wrong, help them make smart good decisions, teach them to listen to others and respect others, so that they can become well adjusted independent indivisuals. Learning at a young age that all actions have consequences (ie losing toys, treats or doing fun things) will go a lot further than hitting your child ever will. I wish you luck and I hope you dont take offense to my post.

Michelle - posted on 06/05/2012

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I understand and no problem, just telling you that if from experience that if you dont nip it in the bud it will get worse. I felt the same way when my kids were just little bitty ages 3 and under but when they got worse I took the belt to them and it worked for a while, now they are teens they are out of control and my husband is now in control with my 14 year old and it works. Everyone has diffrent ways of raising their children, just know that if something is not done at a young age they will grow up and be out of control and wont be able to be controled.

Lori - posted on 06/05/2012

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Thanks Kristin, I like your logic and what you say makes perfect sense. I used to yell alot in the past but I found it did nothing but make the situation worse. I will take your advice to heart and I thankyou for taking the time to write! :)


Michelle, I must disagree with your methods just because where I am from that sort of thing is not tolerated but I know alot of people still spank their children so I mean no disrespect to anyone who does.

Michelle - posted on 06/05/2012

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depends on how old your child is. If he is under 10 then I would suggest a belt to his butt, the Bible says to wipe our child, do not do it when your angry, just do not bruise him and stand strong with your destination. My son is 14 I wipe him and it does not faze him at all but when his dad does it, he listens because his dad is stronger and has a deeper voice. We are serious in what we say and we do not back down on what we say. My son not along smarts off, he cusses us, pusshes us, has kicked me, twist my arm once, stayed out past curfew an hour, smoked cigerettes and made out with girls.
If you do not get control with your child now he/she will get worse. If you do not believe me ask others and pay attention to the older kids in the grocery stores, churches, mall and places you shop.

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