What do I do if Im starting to lose it??

Carlene - posted on 02/22/2010 ( 15 moms have responded )

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I am one person and everyone wants me to do something Im fixin to have a break down, How do I keep from doing that?

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Sherry - posted on 02/22/2010

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Boy, can I relate! After my daughter was born I went into severe post partum depression. I forgot how to do simple things like tie my shoes and brush my teeth. Here's what I suggest. First, call someone you trust and ask them for help. Whatever it is that you need right now, that's what you ask for. If you need to get out of the house for an hour or two, if you need a nap- whatever it is- call and ask for it. If nobody is available right now, improvise. Turn a movie on for the kids and go into another room for five or ten minutes at a time. Make dinner as simple as possible. Either order out or have them eat cereal for tonight. Step outside with whatever it is that makes you feel good- a can of soda, chocolate, a beer, whatever. Check in on your kids periodically and make sure they're ok- but give yourself some space. You need this as much for your good as for theirs. If at any time you start to feel like you're going to harm yourself or someone else, call 911 and ask for help. They will talk you through what to do step by step. I'm sorry you're going through this but you are not alone. Listen to yourself. You know what you need better than anyone and don't be ashamed or embarassed to ask for it. All of us at one time or another get to a point when we need a little extra help. Best wishes to you.

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Samantha - posted on 02/27/2010

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hey dont be so hard on yreself.yre not wonder mom and none of us are.i have bad m.e and other pros 2 kids ,i have bad days when i feel like that.i get in the shower and have hot one scream.then i make a hot chcolate and tell myself im human.us moms do a brill job.take one step at a time.ignore other people you and yre kids r the important ones.but have some relax time alone.go for a walk.

Wendy - posted on 02/27/2010

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I walked out the door one day with my bag packed. It was the best thing I could do for my family. My husband woke up really fast and never treated me better when I returned the next evening. I now try to get away for a wkend once in a while so that I don't get to that point anymore. Find something that you love to do and make time for you. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of your family.

Carlene - posted on 02/27/2010

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Thanks to all, I needed some adult interaction and you guys have been a great help!!

Jo - posted on 02/25/2010

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i was like you after i had my second child. i suffered post natal depression and had to see a psychiatrist. I learnt to prioritise my jobs. if the house dont get tidied straight away who cares. put a film on for the kids, have a sit down, cup of tea/coffee and do something u enjoy. also if u havent got time to do something (or dont want to) say no.

hope you feel better soon and get some time for youx
if u need to chat add me to your circle and get in touch anytime

Zoe - posted on 02/25/2010

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oh dear,how old are your kids? my girl is comin up to 5 and i still have times i wana scream and run away,i have always said i had her for me not any1 else so i dont really ask my mum n dad to have her,my husband works a lot and i am on my own with my girl,luckily she's at school now so i get a break but every 6 weeks or so my sister takes her or my mum does for a nite to give us a break..i dont think it hurts to put ya head in a pillow and scream and cry for a few minits..if you haven't got family to have the kid/s for an hr or so try askin a friend they can only say no x

Aprajita - posted on 02/24/2010

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make sometime for yourself and do what u like doing most in that time. tell everyone that u want some time and let them do something for themselves. even a 15 mins break will make a difference. Handle the kids first and let the adults help themselves for a change.

Rebecca - posted on 02/24/2010

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1. learn to say NO and mean it
2. know that you cannot look after anyone unless you have looked after yourself -- all those things you do for others -- who is going to do them if you actually have a breakdown? you are NOT indispensable
3. learn to ask for help -- if you are a single mother, ASK a friend; if your partner isn't helping just leave him alone with the kids and go out (tell him you're doing it obviously)
4. teach your kids team work so that you do things WITH them, not FOR them
5. narrow down the number of people you are responsible and answerable to -- for me that's my two kids and my husband, everyone else is IF i have time

Stephanie - posted on 02/24/2010

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That happened to me Sunday! I was near tears and yelled at my 5 yr old . Told My Husband I'm too stressed, but he can't see how. Locked myself in the shower till the hot water ran out then took a nap. Husband finished cooking, fed kids and put them to bed at bedtime. Your Partner may be your only hope if you have no family near by. (Like Me) A day of girl talk may help. Skype is my only chance of that. lol

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Take a deep breath (or maybe a hot bath and a glass of wine), and remember the kids will remember how loving you are to them now-later down the road. One day, you'll get the appreciation you deserve by watching them walk down that isle with their certificates and tassels in tow. Then you can say "Yea! I did it!"

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Is this people just in your house? OR friends?? If they are "outside people", learn to tell them "No". Decide if this is something you can do or not. If you do not have time or do not want to do it, tell the person no. As for family, we've all been there. Just do what you can and try not to stress (that makes it harder). Hope everything works out for you.

Lisa - posted on 02/22/2010

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Aww, sweetie! I'm sorry you've gotten to this point. I've been there quite a few times. All I can say, is I either go in my room for a few minutes to cool down, if no other adult is home to supervise my kids; or if my boyfriend is here, I usually take a nice hot bubble bath, or go out to the store just to get a few minutes alone. We all need our own 'alone time'. I know exactly how you feel. You need to explain to everybody that you ARE only one person, and that you CAN'T do everything all at once. If they don't like it or they can't wait, then go find someone else to help or too bad, lol. That's one thing I've leanred to accept: I can't do it all alone, all the time, all at once. I'm only one person. Don't worry. It'll get better.. But if need be, step out and take a breather. :)

Sherry - posted on 02/22/2010

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finally give your self a break,after the kids/kid are dealt with make time for you,just to read or nap or bath just take some time for you despite the world ,it is not selfish,to be the best mom you can be you need to feel good

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