When you take your little boy into the ladies room does he go in the cubicle with you?

Kelly - posted on 07/10/2010 ( 115 moms have responded )

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Hi moms



I feel a little silly asking this question but it was somthing that came up in conversation with a friend and it has made me think



When im out shopping etc and my son needs the toilet i will obvioulsy take him into the ladies as he is not old enough yet to go into the mens by himself. If i need to go aswell then i will go after him with him still in there with me. My friend didnt agree with this and said she would be embarrssed so she made her son stand outside the stall. I dont see a problem with what i do as my sons safety comes first. I would rather he saw his mom having a wee then him being abducted or hurting himself. Besides he knows mom has different parts to him.



What do other moms do?x

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Tracey - posted on 04/09/2012

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actually, especially in this day and age where bullying has become a prominent problem, people saying he is a cute little girl IS NOT the worst that thing can happen. If you truly think it necessary to bring your child in the room with you then who cares what someone else thinks? Have enough strength to stand up to whomever may dare say something to you(usually they being the childless person)

Meloney - posted on 04/08/2012

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my 10 year old son used to cry when I left him outside the cubicule while i used the toilet asking why he could not came in with me, I said it was vecause he was a boy and boys are not allowed unless you want me to dress you as a girl, he said that he dont mind if it means he can come in with me because he feels scared being left out side. So the next time I took him out I dressed him in his little sisters panties and flower dress and I styled his hair to that of a little 8 year old girl, he really did look so addorable dressed as a little girl and no one could tell he was really a boy so there was no problem takeing him into the toilet with me, now I take him everywhere with him dressed as a girl and it feels so much better haveing a daughter with me and one can dress a girl so much nicer that a boy. Do other mums agree?

Carla - posted on 07/26/2010

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@Fraoch: To think your question is scary tells me what kind of a world we are living in now. I guess take him with you into the changing room, you may have to wait a little before it's 'all clear', then change him quickly. When he gets older, but still vulnerable, stand outside the mens changing area, wait (again) until there is no one in there, and teach him to be a quick change artist. Keep up a running conversation with him. Teach him a code word, that if someone was hiding in there, he can say the word and you'll start screaming. To think that the world has come to this, that we have to go to such lengths to protect our children is truly frightening.



God bless, honey

Liesl - posted on 07/26/2010

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i do the same and will even if i had 50! he walks around the house, sees me when i get undressed, showers, go to the toilet. There is nothing un-natural about it. It is rather his safety or pleasing other women... to be honest... have they never seen a little boy... OR r they going to walk around naked in the public toilet... and NO he will not be emotionally scared by it...
I also agree with Shana above/below to use the disabled toilet then if there is an issue, but i won't trust for them to go into the mens toilet alone, until he is probably 16 (sorry son!)

Sujanthi - posted on 07/20/2010

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I have two boys who pretty much goes everywhere with me. When the nature calls, three of us goes in to the big stall when the boys are done with thier business, I simply ask them to turn around. It never crossed my mind to leave them out of the stall till i get what i need to do.

115 Comments

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Patty - posted on 04/13/2012

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when he,s a toddler, he can go in with you. about 4 or 5 he should be able to use his own stall

Liesl - posted on 04/10/2012

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@ Meloney -- ARE YOU SERIOUS????

and you post this? my goodness woman.. do you hear yourself... dressing your SON as a GIRL???? --

What are you setting yourself and your poor son up for (???)

I don't care who stares what and where ... he will accompany me into the woman's toilet if there is no other option like a wheel chair toilet where we both can go in. and i promise you most people will not sound out the words to you.. and if they do - tell them straight u love your children and couldn't care about them...

if they should call the officials -- who is going to blame you?



but seriously... fully dressing a boy as a girl and then renaming him too...... SERIOUSLY????

Tabitha - posted on 04/10/2012

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Yes I bring bothe my nine yr old son and his four yr old sister in the stall with me because people are crazy! I do however make them both turn around when one or the other is using the restroom. You are correct my child's well being comes first and yes he does get embarassed sometimes but I could care less! People are mean, crazy and kids go missing all the time!

Samara - posted on 04/09/2012

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Meloney I surely feel bad for son and the head problems he is sure to suffer from when he gets older.You are weird as hell.

Sherri - posted on 04/09/2012

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I am with Tracey on this one. To bad if someone stares or says something stand up for your son and they will shut their mouths.

Meloney - posted on 04/09/2012

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Sherri, I agree but here in Wales the people are differant and will not have boys in the ladies rest rooms so what choice do I have but to pretend he is a girl

Sherri - posted on 04/09/2012

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Meloney I used to take my 11yr old boy in the woman's restroom with me and it was never a problem so it seems you are going to the extreme and honestly it makes you seem a little odd.

Meloney - posted on 04/09/2012

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Samara, I am not dumb would you rather let your child stay outside wth all the weidos out there today, so I dress my son as a girl, so what! at least he is safe with me in the toilets, if people accepted children, includeing boys, in the toilets I would'nt have to dress him in knickers and skirts and pretend he is a girl or should I just let him wonder off while his little sister comes in with me, no surely it is better this way as the worse that can hapon is people saying what a cute little girl he is.

Meloney.

Suzanne - posted on 04/09/2012

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in that case if the store knew it was going on they should be taking mesures to stop it. at some point we have to trust our children could make enough of a comotion that they would draw attention to the problem. and as for dressing up your male child as a gril that is just wrong, there is nothing wrong with bringing a younger male into the ladies room, but dressing them that way gives them the message they are not good enough and are not wanted as a male. ( there is also nothing wrong if he chooses to be gay but let him make his own mind up )

Tracey - posted on 04/09/2012

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i actually had a store clerk (just about) applaud me for bringing in my little boy with me. seems that at that particular store there were some seedy "goings-ons" in the mens room that you would not want a small child to see or learn about(or adults either for that matter)

Meloney - posted on 04/08/2012

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Since I started dressing my son as a girl it has become much easier to take him out with his sister to places where boys are not allowed and he has become a much better person, his sister and Danny play better nicer togeather with their dolls, I call him Danella when out to avoid questions, and when he is playing with other children, as chirldren can be hurtfull. As their is only a year differance in Dannella and Megans ages it is much cheaper to buy their clothes as they often share them, no doupt Dannella will forget I brought him up as a girl and if he don't at least he will have the experiance of knowing what is is like to wear girls pretty clothes. I know people will say that I am forceing him to be gay, but I do not beleive so as it was his choice to dress as a girl so he could be near me all the time, and if he grows up wanting to be a girl, then that is his choice too. I think the world is changing, allready boys are campaining to be allowed to wear skirts to school and maybe soon we will see the male dress on sale.

meloney.

Flo - posted on 07/28/2011

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It is too scarry not to take your kids with you... I was just reading the newspaper about a man moleting boys in the mens restrooms. This is why I choose my son at age 8 to be uncomfortabe and safe. By the way the boys who were getting targeted by this man were around age 8.

Shiela - posted on 07/27/2011

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I usually have my son stand right outside the door, facing the door with his feet pointing towards my cubicle while I pee, and I keep saying,"I wanna see feet.".

Lashanda - posted on 12/06/2010

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I think its nothing wrong with that, especially like now, around the holidays when the public restrooms are busy. I just tell my son to turn around and face the other way when I am using the tiolet, when he was younger. I would rather do that then leave him outside and some crazy person takes him off or he wonders out the restroom and get lost. He is 5 now and I make him stand outside the stall, but in front of it. I use to work in retail and you would be surprise at the number of kids that get lost or come up missing in stores when their parents let them out of their sight just for a minute.

Jen - posted on 12/06/2010

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I would say it depends on his age. If he is in preschool or younger it should be OK to bring him in with you. If he is older he could wait outside your door. When he gets a little older then he can wait outside the door to the ladies room. It also depends on where you are and how comfortable you feel with the environment.
Your son will let you know when he is uncomfortable too. My son let me know at about 4 he didnt want me to go in the stall with him, and at about 6 that he didnt want to go in the ladies room anymore. So when that happened I respected him. I would wait outside the mens room door and give the evil eye to the poor men who happen to be going in and out while my son is in there! Now he is almost 11 he usually just goes by himself, but if we are in an unfamilliar or crowded area I still wait outside the door for him.
Also every family is different, some people are more comfortable with their bodies while others are very modest. The attitude you take will probably be adopted by your children. We are cofortable with our bodies at our house. I dont purposly walk around naked, but if one of my kids comes in while Im changing I dont freak out. It sounds to me like your friend maybe has some body issues.

Michelle - posted on 12/05/2010

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Did you say you took them INSIDE the stall door until they were 12 years old or were you talking about taking them inside the bathroom?

Nelly - posted on 12/05/2010

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Yes I always took my kids in the cubicle with me until they turned 12 yrs old, sometimes my youngest who is 10 will not want to come to the ladies room with me if its just the 2 of us he has no choice if we are all together then he can go with dad or with his brothers I agree their safety does come first

Kate - posted on 08/07/2010

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I am sure it is not just "Chirstian" mums who believe their kids should be safe!

User - posted on 08/04/2010

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Kelly, I'm with you on this one. I think as long as he is ok with it, then it's fine. The kids always follow me into the bathroom at home, so what's the difference? His safety comes first.

Jennifer - posted on 08/03/2010

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I do the same thing you do. My son is 5 and I still dont feel comfortablel letting him go in by himself. I just ask him to turn around while I go. If you can and they have a family bathroom use that its more space and you can have him wash his hands while you are going.

Kimberly - posted on 08/03/2010

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I always took Owen in with me when he was younger because like said his safety is more important. For anyone who feels weird with that because he might see something there is nothing wrong with asking him to look the other way while you take a turn.

Rachell - posted on 07/30/2010

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Hi Kelly my son is now 5 so but he still comes into the ladies with me and goes in the toilet next to me, he is warned not to come out of the toilet until I tell him too so that he doesnt go running off. My son was still coming into toilet with me until he was around 4 when he became a "big" boy. I still feel unsure to let him enter the gents alone as you just never know and I wouldnt feel comfortable with his safety. At the end of the day just do what feel natural to you, if your friend doesnt agree well noones asking her to do that with her child it would be her choice.

Sharon - posted on 07/27/2010

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My son is 8 years old, I am still concerning him going to mens toilet by himself, he will come in the cubical with me or we will go with my daughter in the parenting toilet together.

Ashely - posted on 07/27/2010

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yes i do i cant even go alone at home so its not that bad if u are emabrassed then tell him he has to turn around for a min or distract him with something long enough to wipe off.

Michelle - posted on 07/27/2010

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Eventually, you know as he gets older, he is going to not want to come in the stall with you, especially when he sees other kids his age not doing it. I know it's hard, but, you do have to give them a little more independence each year as they get older.

Racheal - posted on 07/27/2010

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oh wow i totally understand about the bicycle by himself thing, my friend has a 6 almost 7 year old and he is out by himself ALOT..i worry about that kid so much! i think he is to young. we live in an apartment complex which is nice and in an ok location, HOWEVER across the bball court from us is a registered sex offender! omg i know im worried about him into the mens room to..idk probably like 1st maybe 2nd grade ill let him stand outside the stall...by then he will be about 8..im thinking 7-8ish is good. HOWEVER i am really just mainly going to go by his maturity level, right now i feel he would just benefit better to wait a little longer

Michelle - posted on 07/27/2010

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So when would you let him go stand in front of the stall? Trust me, it is much more scary letting your child go to the men's room when he gets older without you. Now, I'm trying to figure out if I should let my 10 year old bicycle with his friends out of my sight which is very scary to me. In a couple of years, I'll probably let him stay home by himself if he's not scared because I don't want him growing up not learning to be independent which will happen if I don't give him a little more independence each year as he gets older.

Racheal - posted on 07/27/2010

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my son is 5 and would never let him, i understand that you have never heard of it but my son wont be the first one.

Michelle - posted on 07/27/2010

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I don't agree. I'm not talking about having a child stand outside the ladies room, but outside the stall you're in. Yes, there is a difference between 4 and 8 but I also have an older child and I've been through the 4 year old stage. Again, I've never heard of ANY child being kidnapped from inside a ladies room.. The world is really not as dangerous as you think it is. Of course, if you're in a high crime area or a train station then, that is a different story in terms of taking them in the stall with you.

Racheal - posted on 07/27/2010

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why would you ever risk it!!!!!!! 4 is still WAY TO YOUNG! michelle there is a huge difference between 4 and 8 or 9!

Michelle - posted on 07/27/2010

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Again, as I posted before, about 95% of abductions occur by people who know the kids and many of them are kids who are teenagers out on their own. I've never ever heard of a child being abducted standing outside of a stall in a ladies room. I think it is good to be protective but you don't want to end up being paranoid plus as kids get older, you have to gradually also give them a little more independence.

Michelle - posted on 07/27/2010

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I was talking about a kid 4 or older not a 2 or 3 year old. So then, if your child is 8 or 9 years old, are you STILL going to take them into the stall with you because you're so afraid of them getting kidnapped in a ladies room???

Michelle - posted on 07/27/2010

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It isn't a 10% chance. I've never heard of ANY child being kidnapped while standing outside of a stall in a LADIES ROOM!

Melanie - posted on 07/26/2010

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Things happen to children of all ages.......depending where you are doesnt really make a difference ..kids go missing everyday 3 and 4 is far to young to be left outside the door while you use the bathroom.someone could grab them as fast as you could blink an eye.
I find it strange that so many people have a problem with their kids seeing them in the bathroom or for that matter naked
Kids brought up thinking it is strange to see their parent without close ,could grow up with problems.....I hope you never regret your choices.

Laurie - posted on 07/26/2010

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And what would you do if your son started yelling and you were still taking a pee???? I feel that you should remember that just because he is in the room with his "Feet" showing doesn't mean that someone couldn't take him from that point and run off with him while you are trying to pull you pants up. THINK ABOUT THAT THE NEXT TIME YOU DO IT YOUR WAY??????"

[deleted account]

oh, just because DH and I aren't comfortable with him seeing/ watching little girl parts as we change her. Dh is very conservative and I've come to prefer his ways, so I don't mind.

A little more info: Prior to marrying Dh, I wasn't bothered by changing in front of DS, but he was only 2 or 3 at that time. As he got older he started staring and made me feel uncomfortable (when he was younger he didn't care - barely even looked up at me). Now that a.) I'm married to a conservative type and b.) DS is older we teach him to respect his and other's bodies as extremely private and for husband's/wives eyes only.

Racheal - posted on 07/26/2010

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well im not about to take that 10% chance, its not going to adversly affect him watching me go pee once or twice...

Michelle - posted on 07/26/2010

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I really don't think your 5 year old is going to get abuducted if he stands outside your stall in the ladies room. I don't know if you know by about 90% of all abductions occur by people the child knows and I've never heard of any child being abducted while standing outside a stall in a ladies room.

Racheal - posted on 07/26/2010

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angie, why do you make him turn away when you change the diaper? i feel you might subconsciensly make him think that is only a womans job...

Racheal - posted on 07/26/2010

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my son will be 5 in october and i still take him with me..he tells me to turn around because he wants his privacy and thats fine, and he turns around when i go also...but again id rather him ask about the vagina then get abducted!!!!!!!!!!

[deleted account]

I think it depends on how old he is and what is the norm at home. For example, if a little boy has never seen mama's parts or anyone undress before, it is likely going potty in front of him will be strange and bring up a slew of questions.

Me personally: My son is 7 now and very independant. If I'm out and he needs to potty I check inside the ladies room first. Sometimes, if its busy I'll anounce there is a little guy on deck and/or instruct him to walk in and look straight down only til he gets in the stall. I then watch from outside the stall.

Whats complicated though - is now that I have a baby in a stroller/ cart. In that case, I hunt down the handicap bathroom if there isn't a family bathroom and bring everyone and everything in with me. DS must look away though, when I change DS's diaper.

Michelle - posted on 07/26/2010

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How old is your son that you still take him into the stall with you? I did that when my son was under 3 years old but, once that age I just let him stand right in front of the stall I was in so I could see his feet. I really don't see the need to take a child 4 or older into the stall with you while in the ladies room.

Michelle - posted on 07/26/2010

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I'm sorry but I just don't see being worried about letting an 11 year old boy change his clothes in the men's changing room at the pool. My son has been changing into his bathing suit since he was 9 years old in the changing room at the men's pool.

Melanie - posted on 07/26/2010

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There is nothing wrong with taking your son to the bathroom with you,
when my kids were small i did the same..and I know many people that do the same.
Although it does on the other hand concern me that a mother would be embarrassed in front of her own child.....that is very concerning
Why would that be???...was he 14?

Darlene - posted on 07/26/2010

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My son has always come with me into the stall. He is a child and does not look at people with a judgemental attitude. Other people should do what they feel best, but my son is staying with me for safety!!!

Vuyokazi - posted on 07/26/2010

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my boy is 7 bt i trust him to go alone int he toilet i'll wait for him to finishthen i'll take him with me to the ladies and ask him to stand in there by the mirrors

Fraoch - posted on 07/24/2010

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my bigger worry is what age you let 11yr old son in mens changing rooms at pool if family room not available?

Jaime - posted on 07/24/2010

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I take my almost 6 year old in the the ladies with me and let him have his own stall. I make sure he locks it and then I preferably use the stall next to him. We have a rule that he is to stay in his stall until I have finished and tell him he is right to come out. I find it the best way to give us both our privacy (as much as you can get in a public toilet) and keep him safe.

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