Why would my 10 year old daughter lie?

Jillian - posted on 03/21/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My ten year old daughter is a really good kid but she lies often and usually about things she doesn't need to lie about. For example: Me: Do you have any papers to give me from your school folder? Her: No.

A couple of days later I see her folder out and picked it up and looked through it. It was full of papers she never gave me. Mostly past homework papers being returned and a note from the teacher about a pizza party. Why would she say no?

This is just one example but I don't understand why she feels the need to lie? I just worry that in the future she with lie about bigger and bigger things.

Advice???

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Zombie - posted on 03/21/2013

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Hi Jillian,

I had the same thing happen with my daughter last year, when she would bring home things and not tell me. I don't think your daughter is intentionally lying to you about the papers, I think she just forgot they were in there.

What works for us: be the one to check her backpack when she gets home. When my daughter gets in the door, I take her backpack and empty it - to remove her lunch box and clean out the containers for the next day, to place her homework folder on the table so she can get started, and to see if there are any additional papers brought home for me - school newsletters, reminders, etc. Last year she brought home a certificate for excellence in showing repsect to others at school and she had completely forgotten about it since she had recieved it in the morning.

If your daughter is not hiding citations from the teacher or bad grades for fear of being in trouble, then chalk it up to forgetfulness. It's very common at this age for kids to be scattered and forgetful because they have so many things to keep track of during the day (some advice I've been given by mom friends as I am dealing with a forgetful child at the moment myself).

When she comes home next, maybe sit and chat with her, let her know you understand that she has a lot on her plate at school and that you can help by checking her pack everyday.

Best of luck :)

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