i need everyone's advice on your experience with dealing with huge extended (30 min and more) temper tantrums....

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Cindy - posted on 11/18/2008

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My son use to throw the worst temper tantrums. He started this around age 4. By age 5 I was at my wits end. I lost all patience and was pulling out my hair. I tried the time outs and stuff .. nothing worked. Our next door neighbor has a trouble child and told me about takwondo. I went down to the place they took him and signed up my son without checking it out. That was a good thing. When I saw the program I thought " good grief ... I wasted my money on that" I never thought it would help. In 3 months we rarely saw a temper tantrum. By 6 months he was a normal child. After a year he was annoyingly good. He loves the program. We signed him for discipline problems and he ended up loving it. He said "mom, I'm not quitting until I am a black belt." He has been in the program for 2 years and it has done him alot of good.

Kate - posted on 11/16/2008

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My younger daughter would do that and we would move her into the launry rooma nd leave her there until she calmed down a little (not completely) and they said casually and happily, "Ready to come out?" When she replied ok, we came out, QUICKLY said what the punishment was about and moved on. Otherwise, she would keep going. It did stop after a while. It amazed me how long it could last at times. She still has a little temper but goes to her room when she needs to collect herself (she's 11 now). Smetime I think I need a time out too! good luck and be patient!

Heather - posted on 11/16/2008

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I have 2 girls ages 3 & 7....when they act like that I make sure their safe first, then ignore them completely. They'll look at you like your crazy, but they finally figure it out that acting that way isn't gonna get them anywhere.

Rachel - posted on 11/16/2008

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My son went through this stage for awhile too. It does get better with age...he still throws a tempter tantrum here and there but it doesn't last quite last as long. I've worked with children for over fiftten years and it is still is exhausting in dealing with things like this...so hang in there and most of all know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Look for triggers, ie....tiredness, locations, big groups, etc. I notice over time that the bigger the crowd the more likely my son would throw a fit...(he just was too over-stimulated). But like everyone else has said you need to somehow ignore the tantrum. Tell them that if they want to have a tantrum then they have to do it over here ( a space that is safe)..and because they chose to throw a fit, they won't get whatever they wanted by this type of behavior. When they are done with thier tantrum, go back to do whatever you or they were doing beforfe the fit started. I would suggest not to reward them for getting through thier fit...they sometimes will learn that they can throw a tantrum for a bit...then they will get what they want just because they then resolved it on thier own. That way your child knows no matter what, they have the ability to recollect themselves and try again, but with the appropriate behavior....also if they threw a tantrum to get attention....then they know that no matter the circumstance, a tantrum is not the type of behavior you will accept and sometimes they just need to respect mommy's time too. Hope that helps

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while this could be nothing, how d they stop, very suddenly or does you child fall asleep in the middle cause they are tired? if your child wakes up in the same fashion she fell asleep, i wold talk to your doctor. This could be a sign of other problems. If they are your typical, i want something and I'm gonna cry for 30minutes thing, i would walk away, buy good ear plugs and wait a coupld of months, she'll grow out of the tantrum stage.

Kathleen - posted on 11/13/2008

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It depends on the trigger. Keep an eye out and see what's causing them. Is the child hungry, tired, unable to cope with a certain situation (noises in a mall or fluorescent lighting). My daughter has hunger as a trigger (and doesn't always notice she's hungry). As soon as she gets testy I ask her to go eat. Some kids settle if you give them a hug and others need space to cool down. With two kids on the autism spectrum I really can understand what you're going through. (((hugs)))

Erin Ryan - posted on 11/13/2008

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Hopefully this phase won't last long for you! My oldest went through the what I called the "extended temper tantrum".....haha! His would last up to 30 mins or longer and I could not ever see it coming on. I found it best to make sure he was in a safe place and let him work it out himself. If I did a time out, yelled, or payed any attention to him the tantrum just got worse. It was best for us to ignore him and them praise him when he stopped throwing a fit! Good luck!

[deleted account]

I'm so lucky that I never had to go through that! But I was taught(ECE) that you should tell the child the behavior is not acceptable & won't get you what you, put them in a spot that is safe and away from everything & everyone and tell them when they are done this behavior & use their words,they can come back. (remember to quietly,without words to keep putting them back to that spot if they come out still with the fit...) it shouldn't take long before they realize this is not a way to get what they want.......Hope it helps!!

Emma - posted on 11/13/2008

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My son used to do that and we just made sure he was in a safe place (i.e., a quieter room, or away from toys and other kids, etc. ) and ignored him. After a few days, he didn't do it so much.

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I always heard and was told that you should just ignore them. That way they know that throwing a tantrum is not going to get them any attention!!! I was pretty lucky, mine didn't throw fits until they were teenagers!!! :-)

Antonia - posted on 11/12/2008

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our son used to do that.... we tried yelling.. time out.. in a chair.. in the corner.. in bed.. everything.. i don't know if it was just ignoring him or he is just getting better... because fighting it made it worse so we would sometimes ignore it... there are still times he has his fits but i think they are better...

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