Is it considered old schooled?

Carrol - posted on 04/27/2010 ( 32 moms have responded )

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If you are a stay at home mom. Is it considered old schooled for the woman to do all the house work, cooking, cleaning, looking after the kids herself? Or is it the woman's place to keep house and look after the kids?

What if both parents work, who than keeps house?

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Lori - posted on 05/02/2010

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I'm a stay at home mom. For the most part I do the majority of the housework and cooking and take of the kids but I think it's team work too. My husband isn't shy about throwing up his sleeves and lending a hand and neither are the kids now that they're older. I wash, dry, fold and hang, they put it away. With everyone pitching in and working together it gives me a little extra time to do my scrapbooking or go to the gym.

Carmen - posted on 04/29/2010

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its alil old fashion but most people seem to like it better that way,me personally i think it should be 50 50 intaking care of home,like who wants to feel like a slave with no freedom?not me,were in a new age era,we can stay at home work from home take care of home and still leave 50% open for dad.just cause he work dont exclude him,its rough raising kids,its no walk in the park,lol,you know im just sayin,if its done together your home is a much happier place

Hanna - posted on 04/29/2010

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While I'm on materity leave I do the bulk of house work. I am at home anyway. But when I am at work there is a rule. I bring in 40% of the household income, he does 40% of the house work!

Lynne - posted on 04/29/2010

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Every family is different and needs to figure out what's best for them. I have 3 kids, ages 2, 4, and 6. It is hard to get too much done and keep an eye on my kids. (A little easier now that I have a kindergartener). I also work part time from home which means as soon as my kids are on bed, I'm on the computer working until I go to bed. So for us, I do as much as I can during the week, and we work together to catch up on things on the weekend. When I worked full time, we both worked equally on chores. I would repeat though what previous posters have said-- you need to do what works for you and your family. (And don't let others judge how you decide to do things!)

Jamie - posted on 04/28/2010

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I think of it as a little old fashioned but that is the way I like it. My husband works hard and I make sure that the house is taken care of as well as the kids and bills. He does do some house stuff on the weekends. When I was working I tried to be everything and everything suffered. Now the house stays clean and my family is a lot calmer. I have friends that work out of home and stay at home Mom's I feel we all do our best and do what works for our families.

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32 Comments

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Leeann - posted on 09/11/2011

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its old school, but then again I'm old school, and so was my mother. when i worked my husband helped and he still does, but mostly its me and the kids doing the work.

[deleted account]

i see it as old schooled, but that is just my opinion. i look at it this way, it took more than one person to get the house this messy, so it should take more than one person to clean it.

[deleted account]

We have done it both ways in my house. I am now a SAHM but with my first we both worked. The only difference between the two is I had more stress. Even when I worked I kept the house. But I know others who don't work that way.

[deleted account]

Some people might think it is old school but if you want to be a stay at home mum, I say do it! That was my choice & for the most part I was able to enjoy the luxury. Both parents need to bring up the kids & work together so sharing some household chores is teaching the kids good responsibility. I was crought up in an old school family where there were mums jobs like keeping the house tidy, cooking, paying the bills etc. & dads jobs like moving the lawns & putting out the garbage but I think my dad could have done more around the home. Each family is different & I guess you & your partner need to work out what works for you, I like Hannas rule, if you bring home 40% of the income he does 40% of the chores!! Nice one Hanna.

Jeanette - posted on 05/13/2010

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I'm a SAHM and my boyfriend and me take turns with stuff, one week he does the laundry, dishes and clean the bathroom and the next I do it and usually I clean the rest of the house and he usually does the cooking(I'm a horrible cook)

Christy - posted on 05/12/2010

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I think that if you are a stay at home mom, then that is considered to be part of the "job". My hubby and I both work outside the home and we both work around the house and with the kids equally. Sometimes I do more and sometimes he does, but in the end, I think it balances out.

Pam - posted on 05/10/2010

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Oh, and he gets flex days every other Friday, so yeah, he does things arount here then, and has the meal waiting for ME those days.

Pam - posted on 05/10/2010

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Y'know, when I got to be a SAHM, I was happy to keep the house and have a hot meal on the table when my hubby got home. I couldn't believe the flak I got for that from other Christians! Even from my mom! I figure there's no way, even if I cleaned the house from top to bottom every day, that I would put in as many hours as he did, never mind how physically demanding it was compared to his job.

Now that we're both working, he still works longer hours than I do; leaves 6 am, home 5 pm. I drop the kids off at school, work for 6 (or 5) hours, depending on the school day, pick them up, and have the meal ready (usually!) for 5. Now, I do expect some help somewhere along the line because I am not here all day to do it. So he helps me clean, maybe not during the week, but on weekends we blitz the place pretty good together unless we're busy as a family. And when he cooks, he cooks very well. Believe me, no one would ever confuse my house for Martha Stewart's, even on it's best days, but there are more important things like family...we just don't stress out if something isn't done, aside from the imminently important things.

Catherine - posted on 05/10/2010

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If you're home with the kids all day I would say it's realistic to expext that you would do most of the cleaning in the house and possibly the cooking. However, I said most - not all. And there are definately going to be those days where you may not get a whole heck of a lot accomplished. Kids are so unpredictable that you (and your husband) can't get on your case if something doesn't get cleaned one day. The most important thing in the big scheme of things is your children. Everything else comes second!

De-anne - posted on 05/05/2010

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Both. I am a stay-at-home mum too. I do the cooking and cleaning and look after my 2 kids. My hubby helps out. If I give him a list of what I would like him to do, he will do it. If both work, I think both could help. Every Saturday night my hubby will cook tea. He can cook, clean, wash clothes and iron. He does his own washing (his work clothes) and irons. I don't mind and he wants to do it himself. Once upon a time, a woman's place was in the home, barefoot and pregnant. Now it seems it doesn't matter who does what. If you need help from the other half around the home, it doesn't hurt to ask. I don't like cleaning the toilet are and toilet, so I leave that to my hubby. Good luck :)

Jolene - posted on 05/05/2010

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God made it that way and studies have shown that those people are happier. Men and women are different and created for different purposes. This does NOT mean that women are slaves to men or should be taken advantage of. When my husband (who works 60 hours a week) comes home, I do not begin to boss him around. (Jon & Kate plus 8 has shown the results of acting in such a way.) My husband does what he can when I really need it. I have 4 little princesses who love princess movies. The princesses are always shown cleaning while singing and being joyful. That is what makes them lovely. If only we would learn that!

Cindy - posted on 05/05/2010

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I have been on both sides of this street. I left the salaried world some 12 years ago. It was really hard to leave a good job and steady income. However, I found that within a year and some work. My husband and I were able to replace that income loss with his income and good household management.
I feel that I made the best choice for my children. We really have no idea how much they need us until we spend more time with them. Old school? I would say that doesn't matter. Once you have children your life no long belongs to you. Careers come, go, change. Let's face it we can all be replaced. However, in the life of a child, we are irreplaceable. Our absence or presence has an impact on many lives not just theirs and ours. It is by far a much more efficient and joyful way to leave a mark on the world. The long term residual income is outstanding!

Arlene - posted on 05/04/2010

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If a mom totally stays at home then I feel the mom should do most of the work around the house. Dad's work hard at their job and need to rest when they get home. I work though and my husbands does tons... he vaccuums (daily I must add:), grocery shops, helps make dinner, and helps clean dishes. I still feel I do a lot more for my daughter and the home. But, I like to do it. Plus with having a girl, she wants mommy more than daddy for some things:)

Cynthia - posted on 05/04/2010

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I think that if your "job" is SAHM then you should do just about everything. It doesn't mean that your spouse can't help out once in a while, especially during really busy/stressful times such as holidays or bed time. If you both work outside the home an equal amount of time than I feel the work that needs to be done in the house should be equal too. It's not fair for working moms to try to be "Super Mom". I've tried to do it all (working and keeping up the house) and it doesn't work.

Julie - posted on 05/04/2010

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Whatever you and your husband decide is what's best for you. It is good to let the husband make major decisions because it's bibical, with your input of course. I am a stay-at-home Mom and I do all the housework and take care of kids. Dad plays with kids and does all outside and repair work. That's the way we were raised and it works for us. He doesn't criticize me when my work isn't perfect, and I don't criticize his work either. When I worked at an outside job, it was still the same deal. Everyone is different though so just do what's right you and your family.

Jenn - posted on 05/04/2010

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I am a sahm mom and I do everything, even on his days off he does not lift a finger inside the house, he does take care of the yard and outside, i do not mind to much other then the fact that I am forever cleaning up after him its like having 3 kids instead of two!

Kimberly - posted on 05/03/2010

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It's split 50/50. or at least thats how it should be. Why should you stay home all day and he works. You could work too while he takes a break and spends time with the kids for a change.. It makes my life a little easier...

Sabrina - posted on 05/03/2010

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I believe that if the woman is at home, then she should do the most part for the house work... I mean, it won't kill the hubby to do a load of dishes, or vaccum once and a while... As for both parents working, then it becomes the job of both parents...

Elizabeth - posted on 05/03/2010

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We split as needed but while Im home all day I do more of the bigger stuff thats easier to do while she's sleeping, laundry starting dinner and vaccuming but when my husband comes home he'll do up dishes from dinner and help put laundry or whatever little things need to be done so I think its whatever works for you. While I was staying home with here I did about 90% of the chores but I felt that was more of my job as the stay at home mom

Chrissy - posted on 05/02/2010

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I don't think it's old school. At my house, whoever gets home first gets to start on dinner. If I was the one home, it would make sense to me to be the one doing the majority of housework. If you are home with the kids all day, your s/o needs to help when he gets home, like watch the kids while you finish dinner. Basically, make each other feel appreciated. You aren't going to go blow his whole paycheck, so he should respect the work you do at home. Wish I could stay at home with my daughter.

Tammie - posted on 04/30/2010

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I am kind of a SAHM, I am home with the kids and I babysit during the day. However, I think since I am home, I can do some of the stuff around the house. I keep up with the downstairs, vacuuming, dusting, mopping and stuff like that. I will start dinner before hubby gets home. However, we both clean the upstairs of the house (it's difficult to get up there during the day with so many kids in the house) and take care of the laundry and when he gets home from work he basically takes over with the kids, giving them baths and putting them to bed. When we both worked, before our second son was born, we both took care of taking care of our son, cooking and cleaning. I think if a woman is home and just taking care of her children then that should include doing most of the housework as well but within reason. Like someone else said, not in the way our grandparents did it.

Paula - posted on 04/30/2010

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I would love to be a stay at home mom...I was born for it..but I don't have the option to stay at home, I am a single mother and have to work...but I would love to stay and bake and take the kids to practice and clean and iron...but I have to work, and do all that too...I wouldn't trade it for the world!! ;)

Cristi - posted on 04/28/2010

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i'm stay at home mom and i do everything and i have to asked my husband to take of his daughter cause i have her all day and i think he should take care of her too yea he works but she 7 months and she see him and then he goes and do ever what he dose and she wants her mom more then her dad

Christina - posted on 04/28/2010

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Pretty much we share. I'm an at home mom and although I do the bulk of things around the house, when my husband is home, we share the responsibilities.

Nancy - posted on 04/28/2010

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If you are a SAHM mom, yeah, it's reasonable to think that your job is going to include most of the housework, cooking, cleaning, etc... but dad should be engaged with the children in the evening for 2 reasons - one, to give you a break because God knows you need one, but also, two, so his kids know him and know that he cares. I won't get on my soapbox about dad's that think they are king, but I have a low opinion of men who come home and act as if the wife doesn't work because she doesn't leave the house to go to her job.

On the other part of your question, in our case, we both do our share of house stuff and pay someone to come in twice a month to do the major things we don't have time to do every week. Hubby does all the grocery shopping, puts gas in my car and feeds dogs, I do most of the cooking, put away all the groceries, make the grocery list, straighten up the house daily kind of stuff... we each do our own laundry, as did our daughters from about third grade on (they're both grown now). When they were at home still, we both went to games, dad did most of the running around with them, and we all had chores to do. I've commuted to work for over 20 years (to another town) while dad was church pastor, now a bivocational pastor who teaches at the same school I work at :) so he was closer to home and got in the habit of grocery shopping and *likes it*... he also likes vacuuming - something I thank God for but will never understand, lol...

and YES, I'm spoiled and VERY blessed :)

Amanda - posted on 04/27/2010

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well if the woman is home (like i am) i do most of the cooking and cleaning, along with taking care of my son, but days my husband is off he either helps out or takes over (now that i am pregnant again)... i do believe in a way that it is the womans job but not to an extreme measure like in the old days of my grandparents, my mom was a stay at home mom but my father was also there to help or just do if he felt like it...both my parents cooked and cleaned, if both parents work then do it when u get the chance, i was working for a while along with my hubbie and we would do it when we got the chance.. its not all the time the house is perfectly clean but its clean enough and as long as everybody is happy its good enough for me...so it just whatever u feel is right for u and ur family. :)

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