Elizabeth - posted on 08/31/2009 ( no moms have responded yet )
Nearly 2 years ago my fiance of 1 year and a half and I split. It is a very long story and if somebody wants to know they can message me, but it's way too long for this. Right after that a nasty 6 month long child custody battle ensued. His family got involved and made life totally miserable thanks to their false allegations, trying to have me arrested, and falsely calling social services on multiple occasions. This part of things is really irrelevant to the issue of this post, but gives an idea of how bad things got in that 6 months. At the end of that time (a year and a half ago) he got into therapy and became a different person. We are now married and he is deployed to Iraq. Now, I have to admit that I was looking through his email. Yes, I know, bad wife...BUT he gave me the info to get on there in an attempt to regain my trust as he repeatedly has been sending XXX emails back and forth to female friends of his, as well as having an inappropriate relationship (he claims not physical) with one of the female soldiers he is deployed with and I busted him. Now...when we were apart we were both with other people. I lied about it as I didn't even really want to sleep with the guy but was too dumb, stupid, and afraid to tell him no (another long story). He found out and went out of his way to make me feel bad about being with someone else even though we were apart. A few weeks later he admitted to me that he had slept with an old class mate of mine during the same time. Needless to say I was livid since he put me through the ringer for the same thing. Well, after that he INSISTED on knowing every person I was with while we were apart. It was only the one person and only the one time, but the point was he expected to know. So I asked him the same question and he swore to me that she was the only one and it also only happened once. Fast forward and I finally got him to admit that his God-Daughter is really his daughter. Long story...his brother hooked up with their step-niece. They broke up for a short time at the same time that my husband had broken up with his ex-girlfriend and the SN came to him to "comfort" him. Shortly after she announced she was pregnant and the 16 year old girl married the supposed father of her child (my husband's brother). He thought the baby might be his but she assured him she wasn't and he believed her. Now she is 9 and all you have to do is look at her to know that there is no doubt that my husband is her dad. Now I love this little girl and I guessed it, but nobody else knows and her mom won't let us tell anyone so he will never be allowed to be a father to his own child. Anyway, at the time I finally got him to fess up I told him that I could not marry someone that kept secrets and this was his "moment of truth"...his chance to get it all out there and not suffer any consequences. Now...when we were apart I heard that his ex-wife drove in from MI and spent the entire weekend with him...they were not seen leaving the apartment for 3 days. I confronted him about it when I found out about the other girl and he assured me that it wasn't true and that she was never here. At the time I gave him the "moment of truth" he swore there was nothing else. Now...a year and a half later I found an email from him to his bestfriend bragging about how he had basically non-stop sex with her and it included a picture of her (fully clothed) and a comment about how fing hot she is. Now...he has NEVER raved about me like that to anyone. She has a figure 10 times better than me (the same body type of the women that were in the porn I found as well) and I have NO hope of ever having it. Genetics just weren't on my side. I am furious that he lied to me for a year and a half AND I now know that he still has a thing for this women who looks a million times better than me and am now even more insecure than I was before. I of course confronted him about it and he is furious with ME and says that he didn't do anything wrong (now I remind you that he lied to me for a year and a half) and that I am crazy! He also said that he would NEVER go back to her, wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole (which is what he told me before he broke up as well). So yeah...I have an entire gammot of emotions going through me and I just want to know if any of you would feel the same way, or if you guys think I am over reacting.