The ex-wife and Facebook

[deleted account] ( 61 moms have responded )

Are anyone else's in-laws friends with your husband's ex-wife on Facebook? Am I the only one bothered by it?

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Anna - posted on 10/12/2011

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Lol. I just noticed a similar problem on my Facebook page: all in-laws are friends with the ex. I had a conversation with my husband and he does not give a shit as we hardly ever see them. I, to be honest, just find it weird the way she wants to be back where she was thrown out from. She trying to make conversations with them and everything. My husband is sure they will never call her where I am (and better they not). They are ok with me too, but this is the case when they cannot be nice to both of us. Anyway, if I notice too much activity on that front, I will just stop any communication with any of them who does fail to set the boundaries with the ex. The ex is just trying to get back where she was. My advice ladies, do not let this bullshit in your life and do not try to change things being "overly" nice, because it will turn against you sooner or later. Know your place, and everyone who does not recognize it can go to hell.

Samantha - posted on 12/23/2009

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I would say they def blame me for the divorce. Dear M-in-law didn't see that they had problems long before I entered the pic. We were both married when we met...I know it's awful and not something I'm proud of- I make no excuses for that, it was wrong. And so in some respect the family has a right ,upset I guess. But it's been two years and the m-in-law won't even meet me or my children. The ex has moved on but his mom and sister can't seem to get over it. The ex just irritates me- perhaps a little jealousy on my part, she IS taking 50% off his salary for CS and maint. She shops a lot, goes to concerts a couple times a month and travels. It pisses me off a bit. Get this though- I just noticed she added one of my coworkers to her FB page now too! Ugh... She's everywhere now! Yes, I check her page just to see what's going on- is that weird?? Lol.

Brenda - posted on 09/03/2013

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It bothers me too. I think it sucks, you don't get a chance, my in-law's family is so in love with the ex, they don't even know me and act like they dont care. They tell the ex, you're the best, your great, your awesome and I am the one who takes care of their daughter and cleans up all her financial messes and other problems, but the ex is great. Sucks and I am tired of being treated like that. I don't care about them anymore and thinking divorce sounds like an option. Too much drama, and feeling unappreciated.

Karen - posted on 03/03/2013

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This drives me nuts, too. I'm sorry but, I am only human. Everytime my sister-in-law posts a picture of the family, the ex has to be the first to post some kind of "sweet" comment. As if with all her comments she can somehow work her way back into the family legally. I want to scream at her, "Don't you get it??? You're not part of this circle anymore. Go Away!" I think my sister-in-law is just too nice to tell her to buzz off or unfriend her for fear of the stink it'd make in their small town.

Vivian - posted on 09/11/2012

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Elizabeth, this problem is quite common when there has been more than one marriage. It seems that your problem is with the in-laws, and not the ex? In any case my suggestion is that it is your husband's responsibility to set the rules and boundaries. Sure they can be friends with her, but your husband needs to tell his family what is and is not acceptable behavior. You should not be made to feel like a second wife, because you are his current and only wife. They should be happy and love you, just because you make their brother, son happy. As far as facebook is concerned, de-friend all of them and enjoy communicating with your family and friends. Don't give the in-laws the pleasure of knowing that what they say bothers you in any way. This gives them power. When you are in their presence, smile, be nice and walk away when they start being ugly. Eventually they will stop and share their misery somewhere else. I have been married 7 years to my husband. (second marriage for both of us) it took me a long 5 years to learn this lesson.

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Shawnn - posted on 06/25/2014

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Ladies, you cannot control whom other people choose to have in their lives. Whether it's your family communicating with your ex, or your partner's family communicating with their ex, ITS NOT YOURS TO CONTROL.

You cannot choose other's friends for them, nor should you dictate to them about who they can or cannot associate with. Sorry, but that's the way the world works.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO be in communication with that person, but you do not have the right to DEMAND that the rest of the family adhere to your wishes. They are their own people. Not to mention that you all would be EXTREMELY pissed off to be told who you could or could not friend based on SOMEONE ELSE'S past relationships.

If your mom chooses to talk to your ex fiance...HER BUSINESS. If your sister starts dating him? Tacky, but still her business.

Marian - posted on 06/24/2014

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My mother-in-law were friends with "them" but now they're not. She even had photo's of the ex but deleted them, thank goodness. I mean please, when your son filed for the divorce that also meant the entire family is divorced from her. And its quit disrespectful and embarrassing for me. Just how I feel.

Mafalda365 - posted on 05/29/2014

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Wait for it... The ex wife still has the pictures from her wedding with my now husband, as if she dont want anyone to know or I dont know why the hell she doesnt remove them.
Still people will comment on those, (some that dont know that he is remarried) saying how good they look... drives me nuts. My husband asked her to remove them and she dint wanted to. what about that?

Susan - posted on 05/18/2014

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i am married longer to my husband than she was and SHE was the one who cheated and left him for a dr....30 yrs her sr....and the kids and apparently a nephew is ok with that. I have never said boo and even put the kid through a private university but im chopped liver.

Susan - posted on 05/18/2014

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yea my husbands nephew hasnt seen my hubbys ex wife in 20 years and they live many states away. All of a sudden they are fb friends and I am friends with the nephew now and plan to go to his wedding. Irritates me that she has invaded fb, have blocked her and now I feel she screwed around on my hubby in FRONT of her son and now she wants back??? I wanna tell her be with her 82 yr old dr. bf...but have said nothing.

Loretta - posted on 04/01/2014

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Tina your probly never going to win, it's not your place to be dealing with his family it's his place simply because it's his family and until then they will not budge. And the sad part about it all is what kind of family would put an ex before blood? Like seriously I've learnt that in the end it's you your husband and your kids that really matter it's their loss in the end like I've said let her have them oh well take away the fact that the ex so pathetic she has to hang on to her past because her future sucks more than there lousy relationship hahah

Loretta - posted on 04/01/2014

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Oh my lanta does this sound so familiar it's crazy how others have gone through what I have, only in my situation my husband and I have been together for 7 years married for 4 and we now have 4 sons together. Ya ya I know one a year...Thier marriage lasted 4.5 years and no children now this is where it getts pretty messy and it all boils down to my dear m-inlaw. She has issues with me and our happiness and unfortuantly decided to bring the whole family into this matter. And they listened, for the first 3 years the family was decent to me actually my sister in law and I grew pretty close to the point that I was her maid of honour, then 4 months after that his mom decides to invite the ex camping while we went with them and boy did the shyt hit the fan! I have to much respect for my self and for my husband and our union to deal with these types of boundary failures. And from that day on things have been pretty messed up .... Fast forward 4 years to now and I am still dealing with them bad mouthing me on Facebook to the point that it have been bullied off the site. In the end tho I've been blessed with the best husband any woman could ever ask for he has stood by me no matter how his family has tried to treat me and in his passive own way has tried to talk to them about this. I do understand about his tho is he is not the type to rant and rave . We have just decided to leave all the people who want to stay in the past in the past and all the toxic family members who can't accept our union and love out of our life. This is pretty much his whole family with the exception of a few who truly do love us. We have grown and learnt from this and know our sons deserve better anyway. I'm done with it all in the end all I say is have them I got the best one anyway!

Tina - posted on 03/06/2014

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My husband's parents, sister and 2 cousins are all friends with his EX-GIRLFRIEND. They were never married, lived together but did not get married. They were together for 6-7 years. She broke up with him. And from everything that I have been told none of them liked her but they ALL communicate with her quite frequently because they know A LOT about her. My husband doesn't want to say anything because he doesn't want to start drama, but I don't know how much more I can take. We have 2 daughters together and have renewed our vows. I just can not win with these people! I don't know what more I can do. Any suggestions?

Jamie - posted on 12/28/2013

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No it bothers me. They were married for 20 years and I have been with him for 6 years. It makes me feel like an outsider or like I can't be accepted because they were married and we are not.

Kayla - posted on 11/15/2013

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my husbands family and friends are still friends with his ex wife on social sites. none of them really talk to her besides his younger brother. him and my husband recently went on a trip together and the younger brother posted pics on the site and she made a point to comment and like all the of the ones with my husband in them and comment on these pics right after me so she knows I would see them. I don't understand why this infuriates me so much but it does and my husband doesn't make a big deal about it he acts like its no big deal theres no reason for me to be mad almost like he wants her to see what hes is up to. I have had enough and I feel like I am going to explode...any suggestions?

Lisa - posted on 10/20/2013

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How about this...my husband passed away 10 months ago, we were together for 23 years. His ex wanted no part of him or any of his family, didn't allow their children any contact with my husbands side of the family. Now, the ex has re-entered the picture in full force. She is attending family get-togethers, having weekend get always and is being referred to as "sister-in-law". And the ex has been remarried for about 15 years. Makes no sense

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User - posted on 08/01/2013

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My husbands ex wife of only 4 years and NO children together, continuously has contact with his family. They ignore me/us and see her often to the point of 'helping her out' when she needs it.
Both my husband and myself are livid that they have turned on him/us for her. We just don't get it. She is a sociopath and they cannot seem to see it. She had multiple affairs and left him. WTH?
They send Christmas cards to her and also to my husband exclusively, but not to me or my children. Its so hurtful.
Here is where I need the most help right now. His sister has a picture posted on her FB page of their family with the ex wife sitting on my husbands lap. What do I do with that? Course hubby doesn't want to rock the boat but I feel extremely disrespected. I had a friend of mine ask me if we were still married b/c they saw that picture.
Am I making more of this? Should I just let it go? I dont think I can. I am so bothered by it. Please help. :(

User - posted on 08/01/2013

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My husbands ex wife of only 4 years and NO children together, continuously has contact with his family. They ignore me/us and see her often to the point of 'helping her out' when she needs it.
Both my husband and myself are livid that they have turned on him/us for her. We just don't get it. She is a sociopath and they cannot seem to see it. She had multiple affairs and left him. WTH?
They send Christmas cards to her and also to my husband exclusively, but not to me or my children. Its so hurtful.
Here is where I need the most help right now. His sister has a picture posted on her FB page of their family with the ex wife sitting on my husbands lap. What do I do with that? Course hubby doesn't want to rock the boat but I feel extremely disrespected. I had a friend of mine ask me if we were still married b/c they saw that picture.
Am I making more of this? Should I just let it go? I dont think I can. I am so bothered by it. Please help. :(

User - posted on 08/01/2013

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My husbands ex wife of only 4 years and NO children together, continuously has contact with his family. They ignore me/us and see her often to the point of 'helping her out' when she needs it.
Both my husband and myself are livid that they have turned on him/us for her. We just don't get it. She is a sociopath and they cannot seem to see it. She had multiple affairs and left him. WTH?
They send Christmas cards to her and also to my husband exclusively, but not to me or my children. Its so hurtful.
Here is where I need the most help right now. His sister has a picture posted on her FB page of their family with the ex wife sitting on my husbands lap. What do I do with that? Course hubby doesn't want to rock the boat but I feel extremely disrespected. I had a friend of mine ask me if we were still married b/c they saw that picture.
Am I making more of this? Should I just let it go? I dont think I can. I am so bothered by it. Please help. :(

Necey - posted on 07/23/2013

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Hi Ladies. I'm new to the blog and I'm glad that I found it. I've been married to my husband for 13 years and had to deal with hatred and jealousy from his sister and her kids. My husband's ex-wife and I were friends at one point and she does not have any kids with my husband; however, she's always at our family functions in spite of the fact that she is also married but never has her husband with her -- instead her sister always accompanies her. 99.9% of the time I don't let it bother me because I know that she's jealous and wants to be in my place. However, just recently she was at a FAMILY REUNION and I approached her and her sister and vocalized how THIRSTY she is for my husband. When asked where her husband was she couldn't respond. Come to find out, my mother in law is the culprit who invited her to the reunion and has been inviting her to everything. Of course she denied it, when my husband and I approached her about it but it was confirmed by her granddaughter. I always knew that my mother in law had some jealousy in her heart towards me, but this is confirmation that this woman doesn't want me to be with her son.

Danielle - posted on 06/20/2013

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My bf family is friends with his ex on FB, heck she even sent me a friend request, to keep tabs on me, joke was on her cuz her plan back fired and we printed up pics of her making out with other woman and comments about how my bf was a bad father etc and took it all to court. That nite she ended our FB friendship lol. As far as the family members they say its so they can see pics of his and her daughter but she never posts pics of her just her 2 babies ( its really sad and I feel for their daughter) I say let them be friends and if the family member asks to spend time with the kids tell them NO and to ask the ex when she has the kids, I wouldn't stress just un-include yourself and husband/boyfriend from that family member they notice you being distant and that's when you can explain that as long as that family member is friends with the ex it is in the best interest of your new family and relationship to not involve yourselves with said family member until they end their FB friendship. If said family member refuses just calmly explain that their choice is fine but you are not going to condone said family members disrespect to your new family!!!

Diana - posted on 03/21/2013

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My mother in law and my husband's half sister are friends with my husband's ex. It really doesn't matter because we stopped talking to MIL 10 yrs ago. We stopped talking to his half sister 2 years ago because of the Facebook conversations she was having with the Ex. She said it was only because of husband's daughter but, the daughter is 21! No need to be accepted by the ex when the child is an adult!

Debbie - posted on 02/20/2013

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he is also friends with his ex step daughter on face book, and i dont like it. he saids its only to see pic of ex step kids

Debbie - posted on 02/20/2013

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my husband had no kids, but his ex wife had grandkids they were only married 5 yrs, he wants to be a part of their lives but i dont see it

Diane - posted on 01/03/2013

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Emily thank you for the other side. You sound a little bit like the exception to the rule though and I truly believe your intentions are for your children to have and keep a relationship with there other family. Unfortunantly, there are ex's out there that want to interfear just to irritate the new wife/gf. and that is what I have to deal with. One example is that before me at games and events his ex wife would walk past my fiancee and family with a casual wave and not pay them much mind and at the first game I go to she makes a point to come over and give his parents a big hug and now years later tries her best to beat me to sit by them at games. Its rediculous and I stopped playing the game a couple of years ago. My problem with my fiancee taking his ex to dinner with his family is with him now. It hurt that he lied and feels very disrespectful. You should try and talk to your ex's new wife one on one with out your ex there. I mean honestly offer her an olive branch and explain your intentions arent to disrespect her and see. My ex's new wife and I have a great relationship. I tried the same with my fiancee's ex and in turn recieved the worlds ugliest letter of no thanks ever typed on planet earth. Fo r the life of me I will never understand hating someone with a passion for years and years for absolutely no reason. Its very sad and has made life with what will soon be my step sons very hard. Her hate of me has blinded her to the pain she has caused her own sons in the situation.

Emily - posted on 01/03/2013

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I'm on the other side of this issue, I guess, but it's always good to try to see other points of view. I live closer to my ex's family than he does by a good hour or hour and a half, and so I take my daughter to visit them. If I just drop her off over there, then I'm accused of using his family as babysitters, and if I spend time over there then I am accused of trying to get back together with him. He also says its not fair to his step kids who don't get to see their grandparents as often, and that this makes my daughter get special treatment. He and his wife both asked me to leave his family alone, but if I left them alone they would only see my daughter once or twice a year and that doesn't seem fair to them since we live so close. I don't think its always the evil ex. Almost everyone is somebody's ex, and the ex might be holding on to the family because they want their kids to someday be able to have graduation parties and wedding receptions where everyone can get together without fighting, and because its more important for your child to have a relationship with as much of his family as possible than to keep one or two members from getting upset because they feel the ex is invading their lives. There's no need for 2nd wives to feel insecure because they are loved by the son and that makes them valuable to the family; that makes them family.

Diane - posted on 12/27/2012

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My fiancee pulled a doosy the other night. We have had a very difficult five years because of his ex that decided to start a hate campaign towards me from the day we started dating. His family of course labels her as sister in-law still and all has nothing to do with me. then after his sons Christmas concert I missed to stay home finish cleaning HIS house and finish wrapping HIS presents for them he takes his family, children, and ex out to eat! I was and still am devistated. I told him how disrespectful I thought it was and he became very defensive tried to say he just wanted to eat with his sons and since it was her weekend she came to but on several occasions and I know this time as well she would have let them go alone with him and his parents. I know he invited her and whats even worse, he called after the concert to tell me he and his mom and sons were going to eat. he left out the tiny detail that his ex was also going.

T - posted on 11/18/2012

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My husbands family doesn't consider me family. But they LOVE his exwife , they are friends with them on fb. They all hang out together, she is always over for family functions.

Sara - posted on 11/16/2012

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Stephanie, don't let it bother you. the MIL probably had a good relationship with her, but what matter is your relationship with your hubby, he LEFT HER for a good enough reason, and CHOSE YOU for a good enough reason. Second wives ARE THE BEST! xoxox

Sara - posted on 11/16/2012

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Elizabeth, my husband's family are friends on FB with hubby's ex, It doesn't bother me because I know the only reason they did that is to have 411 on their nephew ( she had a child with hubby out of wed lock, although hubby did not wanna have children with her, he decided to marry her for the baby's sake, the marriage only lasted 10 months or so), she is very childish, the kind of woman that would call and fabricate stories about my hubby trying to get back with her while visiting the child,) That type of stuff. But I know that she is just a miserable, jaleous human being who desperatly wanted to keep a man who never wanted to share anything with her, To him she was a passing GF, To her it was I AM GONNA FORCE YOU TO BE WITH ME. They are exes for a reason honey! They behave that way on purpose to create problems, don't let it get to you!! xoxoxox

Chloe - posted on 11/05/2012

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My husbands ex has slept with everyone in our small town It would be hard to find anyone that wasn't her "friend" lmao

Chloe - posted on 11/03/2012

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OMG my friend's fiancee's ex-wife is on Facebook and he has cousins and Aunts that are friends with her. The only problem is she writes nasty stuff about him and NOT one of them stick up for him. He doesn't see it because he has her blocked but this lady is relentless. Going on & on about what he did while they were together. Never what SHE did though. They all admit that they Know she is crazy but no one EVER says it lmao. But I would MOST certainly be upset!

Donna - posted on 10/18/2012

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My husband's ex wife is friends with his sister, brother, their spouses and all the nieces and nephews. She consistently posts comments on all of their pages. My husband is not on FB. She is annoying as hell but I see right through what she is doing...get under my skin. That will never happen as I have my own loving family and do not need their validations on any level regarding my relationship with my husband. She's pathetic.

Stephanie - posted on 09/15/2012

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Wow, I was searching the web and I am having a very similar problem. Thought I would join the conversation and maybe you guys could give me your thoughts! All of my in-laws are friends with my husband's ex-wife on facebook. It wouldn't bother me so much, except none of them ever bothered to friend me! On top of that, my mother in law, before we were married but after she had met me (me and my husband had been dating for over a year at that point) put a picture of my husband, his ex-wife, and their kids on facebook, and captioned it "my son, his wife, and their beautiful kids." Like this wasn't bad enough, she then went and put his ex-wife as her daughter in law right before we got married! The MIL is nice enoug to me in person, and supposedly gushes about how much she loves me, but she makes sure to keep me off of facebook because she thinks it will upset ex-wife. She has pictures of all of her other kids and their significant others on her page, but none of me and my husband (her son). Is it wrong to be angry about this? My husband doesn't seem to think this is a big deal, but I think it is pretty ridiculous that she is more concerned about making the ex-wife upset than making me upset! Sorry for the long rant, but it would just be really nice to hear what other people dealing with this think (especially since husband seems to think I should "just get over it").

Nat - posted on 08/06/2012

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Oh oh my God I thought I was the only one troubled in this , sometimes I question myself if am normal but seeing that it bothers alot , makes me know that am ok,,, my sister inlaw and her daughter are friends with my husband's ex and all are kids that are not my husbands biological kids,my sister inlaw blocked me on Facebook. She is a mad cow and mad dog, got no better name to call her really works on my nerves.
She was against the woman who isnow my hubby's ex she always said the woman was finishing the brothers money coz she has 4 kids before she moved in with my hubby.so I met him 2 years after they divorced now sadendly this woman has become a good person in her life,,,,,,

Jessica - posted on 04/04/2012

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I'm my husbands second wife. He is also my second marriage.. We have a yours mine and our's family! When they were getting divorced she gave custody bc she wanted to have fun and her new boyfriend didn't want kids. My husband was ecstatic.. She then sent the kids to church packed up and left without saying goodbye. They didn't great from her for almost two weeks.. I came in the picture and helped create a secure home again. My then fiancee's mom quit talking to him for getting engaged and moving me in. she wouldn't even get to know me.. We moved our wedding so she could attend and she crashed it. She and my sister-in-law have referred to my son as not theirs bc he isn't blood and called him horrible things. This all started before he was 2 years old.. I have taken care of my husbands kids as if they were my own and I refer to them as mine.. They are amazing kids.. My husbands family hates me but can't explain why.. They won't even try to know me or my family. They ignore me and call me horrible things. They invite my husbands ex wife over to hang out when she is in town, they invite her up to stay with them, and they are best friends on facebook.. They have flat out told me I'm not family and my son and I never will be family.. It destroys me and infuriates me that I get treated this way though I have done nothing to deserve this treatment.. Sorry I went on a rant but more of this treatment happened today so I'm feeling quite emotional..e..

Maureen - posted on 07/22/2011

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Great question about your husband's family and his ex. My husband's ex cheated on him, embarassed him in the community with her adultery, and yet his family seems to forget this years later. They are wonderful to me, but it hurts him when the ex is around and they seem to overlook her sleezy behavior.

Nicole - posted on 06/30/2011

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Hi Elizabeth,
My husband whole family is friends with his ex wife. To the point of it causing a tiff between myself and my sister-in-law. Because she still considers his ex wife as her sister-in-law . And now she has blocked me from her facebook , after blaming me for silly things. I find it funny how some people can be fine on the outside but once you crack into the inside that they are not the person you thought they were. I feel horrible also for it as well because i know my husband is caught in the middle.
There are many of times when i just want to delete my account or delete his family all together and just keep it for people i know for real.

Nicole - posted on 10/24/2010

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No your not. My wife in law or LAMA defriended me and my sister in law on fb after we saw pictures of her drinking after her beinng arrested for a DUI, vehicular homicide, and child endangerment. I was HOT when I saw the pics. DH called her out on it. She denied it was alcohol and quickly unfriended both me and sil. I'm over all of it. It's out of my control and the truth will prevail eventually.

Eliza - posted on 03/19/2010

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No - its a very tense, stressful situation because we never expected any of this happen. We found a man who loves us but the ex wives always have to get insecure and try to put themselves first and let the 2nd wives know - I was married to him first. I was the one who knew the inlaws first. Its very childish and immature and I'm not going to stoop to her level. Both my husband and I are very level-headed and choose and not to react but only to defend ourselvesnd stay away from them until they come to their senses.

Eliza - posted on 03/19/2010

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Yes - but not on facebook. In real life. It is very damaging to mine and my husband's relationship and we are no longer welcome to their home because the ex-wife made that happen by involving my -inlaws when she needs help watching the kids. She never asks my husband first to see if he wants to watch the children when she s not able to even though its court order through mediation. It has become such a big problem now that my in-laws are not involved with my 3 year old daughter. She doesn't have grandparents to call her own, and it bothers us because my in-laws are involved in my step-children's lives who are 7 and 11. My parents are in a different country and has not met them yet. Its a pretty sad situation especially for my child!

[deleted account]

This woman needs to get over her eff-ing self! I'm with you on the putting her in her place. I just had a "terse" conversation with Stephen on the phone about his mother. You know, I get it. She's your mother. But damn it, stand up for yourself and your kids! I'm a big girl, I can stand up for myself, but they sure as hell can't! I'm tired of her promising to help, or babysit, or take the kids to do fun things and then turn around and tell them you can't because your hair, or nail, or massage appointment is more important! Or because you have to take my neice and nephew to a dr appt because their 40 YEAR OLD MOTHER IS APPARENTLY INCAPABLE OF DOING ANYTHING WITHOUT YOU! WTF???!!!

Sorry. Got a little carried away...

[deleted account]

I think trying to make him choose might make you look like the bad guy. With my husbands family they were the ones making him choose and he hates people trying to manipulate him so i knew as soon as they started doing it he was going to get annoyed. If i was you i'd just step back and see what happens people as unreasonable as your husbands family usually drop themselves in it themselves eventually. What would your husband do if there was a family wedding or christening, would he tell you not to come because of them? Just trying to guage how bad it is.

Samantha - posted on 01/29/2010

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I completely agree but he says he will not cut his family out. We have had many knock-down, drag-outs about this issue. I have tried to explain the best I can (even saying I can't be in a relationship like this) but he just won't do it. I have felt very guilty asking him to choose and have backed off but it's obviously still a sore subject between us. My mother said she feels it will eventually ruin our marriage.

[deleted account]

Yes Im from Wales in the uk. This is the thing your husband has to show them your more important, you are no 1. My husband was asked to choose between me and his family and he told them straight he loved me, he married me and if they cant accept that they can choose not to be a part of our lives. They soon came around to me after that and once they actually got to know me they found out i wasnt an evil cow after all. Had the same problem with my stepdaughter when she was 16 she told dad that if he didnt leave me and our children she never wanted to see him again. I think her mother put it in her head, he told her straight it would never happen. She didnt bother for a few months but she turned up eventually with her tail between her legs. Once everyone gets it in their heads that your staying whether they like it or not they start coming round to you but if your husband is happy for you to be left out of that part of your life you'll be left out forever.

Samantha - posted on 01/28/2010

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See, I think that's part of my problem- my husband hasn't put them in their place. Well, he SAYS he has but it's obvious he hasn't. I know they think I was the reason for the break up too. I don't really care what they think of me- they don't know me so I can't take it personally. I just feel like my husband has a separate life with them that I'm not apart of. I can't go over to their house with him to pick up the kids or anything. It's just frustrating. My mother says it's their loss- I would have to agree. ;) Are you English (from the UK)?...just noticing your vernacular seems familiar, my mother is English,that's why I ask.

[deleted account]

My hubbys ex used to pop up the in laws for a cup of tea and a chat. She used to call in my sister in laws too. She told them all that i broke up her marraige which i didnt they'd split 6 months before i met him. She told my sister in law that i'd stolen money from my stepdaughter too. They all bitched behind my back but wouldnt dare say anything to my face because they knew my hubby wouldnt put up with it. When we announce we were getting married my sister in law had the cheek to say to my husband what do you want to marry her for? He put her in her place and she shut up. The ex showed her true colours eventually and a few years later they all said i was the best thing to have happened to my hubby and i agree lol.

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