Major Break Through

Becca - posted on 03/07/2009

My son had been selectively mute most of his life.  He is now 8.  This past Fall we noticed a lot of regression and took him back to the neurophyschologist that did the initial diagnosis when he was 5.  Turns out his SM had become a full-fledged anxiety disorder so as much as the therapist and us aren't strong proponents of medications we did try a low daily dose of prozac.  Four months later he is a completely different child!  He talks to everyone, looks them in the eye, etc.  He still hates to leave the house and has a lot of school anxiety but it is so much better than 4 months ago!  During this time he has also had consistent therapy sessions giving him tools to cope and deal with his anxiety.  After reading your post, I'd find a therapist that actually specializes in childhood anxiety disorders.  With all the progress it appears your son has has made, I cannot imagine applying pressure (and perchance raising his anxiety) when he is on the verge of breakthrough after breakthrough.  Sometimes just finding people who truly understand the issue is 75% the battle.

Lisa - posted on 03/02/2009

I'm just thrilled for your progress!!! I'm hoping to get someone to go in and observe my daughter so I can figure out  if I need to put her on meds. Gina, I hear you about playdates. I well remember that stress...She's made some progress, but if we are somewhere where she is comfortable and new people come, she won't leave my side and asks to go home. Good luck at your party on Saturday.

Gina - posted on 03/02/2009

That is awesome!! Gives the rest of us some hope. We have a birthday party on Saturday. She was excited at first since it's her favorite cousin, made a card and everything, then suddenly she realized that other people would be there and she's been begging me not to go ever since.. and it's only Monday. I hope one day there won't be tons of anxiety over birthday parties or playdates. It's hard.

Viki - posted on 03/02/2009

Just a quick follow up. I did not mean a reward system for talking. It is a reward system for things like going into the bathroom, even if she does not use it, at school. Rewards for playing with other kids, not talking to them. Teachers are the hardest ones in the class to talk to. Kids will talk to kids first. My daughters teachers have found that if they do not try to make eye contact it is much easier to get a responce from her.

Lisa - posted on 03/01/2009

Hi Kim, Just wanted to reiterate here---probably the worst thing you could do right now is take your therapists advice!! Sounds like you've decided not to, but just wanted to mention all the research has shown that that will make the problem worse!!!! Gosh, it makes me so mad and I have encountered several therapists who claim to have experience, then have put my clients (I'm a school psychologist and was treating some SM kids) on a reward system--if you talk to you teacher today, you can get a treat. Aggghhh! The key here is no pressure! Anyway, also, if your son hasn't started talking to his buddies in the classroom, I have a suggestion for you. Meet with the classmates he is talking to (just one or two at first) in the classroom when school is not in session. This helped my 4 year old daughter to be able to generalize her talking a bit. Unfortuanately, my daughter has only gained 3-4 kids this way that she will talk to. But, its much, much better than last year!!! All the best to you and good luck!

Kimberly - posted on 02/28/2009

Thanks to everyone for your responses and advice.  I'm going with my gut and not taking much of the therapists advice and doing what seems to be working for Laurens.  Actually, he seems to be doing it all on his own, if I'm being honest.  Since he decided to talk to his two closest friends, he's branched out over the last 7 days to talking to two more children.  We are thrilled!  The wheels are turning in that sweet little head.

Viki - posted on 02/27/2009

Continue what YOU have been doing and find another therapist who specializes in SM or social anxiety.

Our kids need to be encouraged, not bullied into talking. We use a reward system and do a push-in to her pre-school with a social worker.

If we bully our kids they will take bullying from other people.

Your are right to be skeptical.

If you are having break throughs you are on your way, but someone in his schol might also help.

Good Luck

Kelly - posted on 02/23/2009

I am happy for you. I would think that the therapist is putting to much pressure on him. I hope you continue to see improvement.

Kelly

Lucy - posted on 02/21/2009

Hang in their. I know exactly how you feel. River did not start talk or playing with anyone until He hit the 2nd Grade. If you read some of my notes in the circle of Moms I mention how River was accepted in the research study program and UCLA but they kicked Him out because He was too defiant. A lot of kids with Selective Mutism are thought to be autistic because no body wants to take the time to figure out the real problem. Our family was on Supernanny but Selective Mutism was not mentioned because their is no particular test to say whether a child does or does not have it. Since the show their has been much improvement. If you have any anger situations at home wiyh your child let me know because we were taught a lot of things that help. I am happy to talk with you.

Lucy