Diana - posted on 12/14/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )
my son was born september 6th 2005. his father and i arent together anymore, and havent been since my son was 2 weeks old and he moved out when Mychael was 5 months old.
we have been doing an alternating monthly custody, he will be with his dad one month and then with me the next. when i have my son he doesnt listen to me very well at all, and argues with me over everything. he has started lying regularily. he wont mind me in public, i have physical therapy 2xs a week and i dont have any one to watch him for me and when we are there its hard for me to get my physical therapy accomplished because i have to chase him around the physical therapist's office. he wont take naps for me, he will keep getting out of his beg and opening his door, or screaming for me and crying, and telling me NO! i dont want to! has an attitude with me when ever i ask him to do anything, and basically acts like i am someone with out any authority what so ever.
around november of last year i was in transitional living and i wanted what was best for my son, and for him to have a stable living environment so he went to stay with his dad for 6 months, durring which time his father basically disappeared and moved to oregon to be with his girlfriend. he told me that he was going to come back on thanksgiving and that we were going to go to his mother's house to eat. i didnt know where he moved as he didnt give me an address, and his cell phone was turned off durring this time period. the only way that i had to contact his father was via myspace. he wouldnt respond to my messages. FINALLY i got a call back from his father, and i started having my son back every other month. and dujrring the 6 months that he was with his father i stopped having any type of 'authority' in mychael's eyes, or thats at least how it seems.
mychael's father is engaged to a woman that mychael also calls mom, and it feels like durring the time that he was at his dad's house for those 6 months that he started seeing her as his mother. it really hurts, that he doesnt listen to me.
i have tried talking to him, time outs (which he wont sit still durring for me 95% of the time), taking away privilages, having him stay in his room, yelling at him, i have even tried spanking his butt a time or 2, i feel like im at a loss here, and not sure exactly what to do. i am engaged, and mychael listens to his future step father better then he does to me. when my fiance talks to him, he doesnt talk back, or give him any problems, he listens. im not working right now, so i am home with him all day durring the months that i have him, and when my fiance is at work its a real battle of will or so it seems. it seems like not one day goes by durring the week that we have a good day with out me having to exhaust myself with trying to find ways to help him with his behavior. and nothing is working.
i love my son, and its really hard on me when he behaves this way. i am open to suggestions from other moms. i have been looking online to try to find something to try that works. i want to be able to spend more time having fun with mychael then i do with behavioral battles. i mean i would be happy if we had a few good days a week, other then just on weekends when my fiance is home.