Adding to your family

Allison - posted on 01/02/2009 ( 21 moms have responded )

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Anyone considering adding a new addition to your family? I'm contemplating it and I just can't decide! Too many things to consider. How long should you wait between kids? Things like that I guess.

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Kendra - posted on 03/11/2009

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me and my husband are considering it or actually we decided to but after we get all our finances and everything straight.  We have two little boys now that are 18 months apart.  The oldest is 3 and the youngest is 18 months.  Although neither were really planned we are glad they were close togeteher.  They are so adorable and our youngest just adores his older brother and tries to do everything he does.  Also the older one is so protective of the younger.  We can't even discipline the younger one with the older one getting mad.  It is annoying sometimes but it is so cute.  They love being with each other.  I am glad we had them close together so they can be close as they grow up.  I told my husband I wanted to try for 1 more for a girl and he finally said yes.  We are just waiting till we get the money right and I start working cause i have been a stay at home mom since our first was born.  I think if you feel that you are ready then go for it.  They are a joy and blessing.

Andrea - posted on 03/10/2009

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My 1st and 2nd child are 16 months apart and my 2nd and 3rd are only 14 months apart. My oldest was 2 1/2 when my 3rd was born. I wouldn't have it any other way. The boys are close and when my daughter came along both of the boys just love her to pieces. It's a lot of work and being pregnant with one or two little ones around definately isn't easy, but it's so worth it!!

Abby - posted on 03/09/2009

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i think that it is personal choice, i had 4 children in 4 and a half years and loved it but i was very busy then 3 years later we added a 5th and still loving it coz the older 4 can do most things for themselves

Catherine - posted on 03/06/2009

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hi, my sons are Leo 17mths and Luke 2mths, we planned it this way as the way i think is, it will be hard for few years but then after that thats it and they'll be growing up together and by the time there teens we wont be that old either still young enough to enjoy ourselves anyway...LOL... frequently used saying from irish mothers "ah they'll rare each other"!!!

Hellsbells2311 - posted on 03/05/2009

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Quoting Allison:

Some pros and cons I thought of are: 1. What if after you potty train (I would like Autumn to be out of diapers too) they regress after the baby is born? 2. Your first child seems so perfect you're scared that if you do have another, you won't be so lucky. 3. The cost of child care if you decide you need to work to afford a second child (but then... what would the point of having another baby if you won't be able to spend time with it??) Haha.. 4. Am I ready to gain 35+lbs again? Physically and emotionally? 5. Waiting does make your child more aware of the other baby.. but.. do you really want them to possibly be jealous? Right now it doesn't even phase my baby when I'm holding another baby...

Just some thoughts..



Ok as someone who has 2 and a half years between her eldest 2 then a 6 year age gap here's my opinion and my answers to your questions



1. My eldest was out of nappies by the time her brother was born, and we had no problems with her regressing back to babyish behaviour, but we kept praising her for "being such an amazing BIG sister" we got her involved in nappy changes, bottle making, getting baby dressed so much so that she didn't have time to think about going backwards and was so happy to be helping it helped her to grow as a person.



 



2. This one  you have to work on and you HAVE to remember that all children are different, even with the same DNA, its just wired different, your second, third (fourth and so on lol) is still perfect just different!



 



3. So far on all of mine I have stayed at home, I also plan to do so after our fourth comes along, I am studying at home, which means by the time all my children are at school I will be able to have a career. I know this isn't possible for all families but I am a great believer in being with your child in their most important years the early years when they learn and need you the most.



 



4. Again is another one you have to deal with personally, we are planning to try this summer for our last child, and the way I see the baby fat worry is well at least then i'll have had all my kids and can get back in shape after and not have to worry about losing it ever again, unlike the mum's who waste time getting flat tummies to only go and get caught again lol again a personal view



 



5. Luke (17 months now) is very aware of me holding another baby, but only cause he wants to share the love, he'll climb up next to me hug n kiss the baby then just sit with me. Jordan, as I said was so involved she didn't have time to be jealous and she never lashed out at her brother. Where as Aidan, my middle boy, hasn't got the slightest bit of interest, he'll get me nappies and wipes etc but has no time to play with him as they are at completly different stages



 



So all in all I think now is a perfect age gap and would recomend it to anyone, there are also women where I live who have very different gaps and they say that its a good gap too, but at the same time it is all about personal choice. I hope this has helped a bit and good luck with the next one

[deleted account]

We are expecting another baby in july. so our sone will be 22months old when his baby sister or brother arrives.i actually wanted a smaller age gap between them, but i think this way works out just fine. my husband already has an 11 year old daughter, and i have a 5 year old daughter also, so they go off together alot of the time and really wanted someone close to my sons age for him to pair up with. this is our last addition to our family, and everyone is looking forward to it!x

Allison - posted on 02/25/2009

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this is a great topic! we've been discussing another child, every time i see a baby i think to myself, i want a baby! we've decided to wait until we've finished remodeling our house.

Jessica - posted on 02/25/2009

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I know that adding to the family can be a difficult decision. Especially when you want to figure out how far between ages you want your kids to be. I can only say that making that decison will just come to you when you know youre ready. My husband and I are expecting our second one March 26th. Our other son will be 18 months when our new son comes along. I wanted them to be close in age so it was easy for me to decide this. Only now I am freaked out that I wont be able to handle both of them. I am sure that is normal and I will get through it though. Anyway, you will know when its time. Good luck to you!

Cristy - posted on 02/25/2009

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Quoting Sara:



We are almost 4 months pregnant with our second child. (3rd preg., 1st one miscarriaged).  It is so different with my daughter I was so attentive to the pregnancy.  Although the morning sickness is horrendous, I do not feel as intune with my body as I did with Bailey.  I don't know if if is because I am so busy with her or sadly the "newness" has worn off, I don't know.  My husband is not acting the same with this one.  He said that because it is not our first that he is not that excited.  It makes me sad, because I know that we will love this baby as much as Bailey, but in a sense it does not seem like one can cram all that love in there.  I don't know, it is strange.  We can't wait to meet our baby, but we are worried on how it will effect Bailey being the center of our world.





We were the same as far as excitement for the pregnancy.  I don't want to say it was "lack of" excitement rather than being completely pre-occupied with the one we already had!  I think it is normal.  You WILL be able to cram more love in there.  It just happens and it is wonderful.  I am sure Bailey will adjust completely fine...our oldest only showed jealousy a couple times at first and we worked right through it.  You and hubby just have to make special time for Bailey, which I am sure won't be a problem.



 



Good luck!  It will all work out beautifully!!

Sara - posted on 02/24/2009

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We are almost 4 months pregnant with our second child. (3rd preg., 1st one miscarriaged).  It is so different with my daughter I was so attentive to the pregnancy.  Although the morning sickness is horrendous, I do not feel as intune with my body as I did with Bailey.  I don't know if if is because I am so busy with her or sadly the "newness" has worn off, I don't know.  My husband is not acting the same with this one.  He said that because it is not our first that he is not that excited.  It makes me sad, because I know that we will love this baby as much as Bailey, but in a sense it does not seem like one can cram all that love in there.  I don't know, it is strange.  We can't wait to meet our baby, but we are worried on how it will effect Bailey being the center of our world.

Rebecca - posted on 01/08/2009

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i too was faced with this question a few months ago. my husband and myself decided that with all the problems i faced with the first pregnancy we would adopt...3 days alter found out i was expecting again. the first pregnancy was very planned and was a miracle by all means but the all day sickness that came with it(i lost 25lbs the first 4 days i was so sick) not being able to work, in and out of the hospital, thinking of the weight loss and being stressed that the baby would be so small, having pre-term labor(33 weeks) for 4 days and having the dr's stop it every damn day,(yes ladies thats right 4 days! ) it was the best decision we could agree on as we didn't want our child to be an only child so we were looking in to adoption. well anyways, my husband pointed out i was late and on rememberance day i took a test and i will never forget that day for the rest of my life lol. it was complete shock but over all this pregnancy is so different it doesn't seem normal for me. i was always told that if you have morning sickness with one you will for every pregnancy after. well i do have some i have only lost 15lbs though and i am 14 weeks in so it's a major plus. my son will not be out of diapers by the next baby arrival but he will be in a toddler bed and no where near a bottle so there will be no teritory issues. i think now that it is happening i would rather it this way becuase i don't really want to have apotty trained child and then have to go back to diapers,this way it will neevr stop and then i can focus on potty training when he shows signs of being ready. he has a potty and he knows what it's for,he will lift the lid and sit on it so it's just a matter of him letting me know i guess. i guess to make this short(lol) everyone has there own opinion. i always wanted a big family adn then when i was faced with having the most horriable pregnancy i could have thought of i cut that down but have now decided it will be good to have the family we wanted. i guess you really just need to let it happen in my presonal opinion,if you relish too much on the pros and cons you may psyhc yourself out and regret it later...this was the best "accident" that has happened to me and i would'nt change it for the world!(i do not use accident as a mistake or as neglectful so please no negative comments lol)

Sinikka - posted on 01/07/2009

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we just had boy #3 in dec so they are 15month apart, this one wasn't planned and i was a little worried about them being close in age but my son loves his baby brother and actually has no jealousy, my oldest is 3 years older and i it definately easier to have the older one old enough to understand whats going on. but no matter if they are closer or further apart i think its definately the kids personality and your own that decided what is right for you

[deleted account]

I'm due in July with my 2nd, so they'll be 22 months apart.  I'm worried about all of the milestones Kate will be reaching in her 2nd year and dealing with all of that on top of a newborn.  But in the long run, I want my kids close in age, so I decided the initial struggle will be worth it.  I'm sure it will be difficult, but at any age adding a 2nd child would be difficult.  Good luck with your decision!

Allison - posted on 01/06/2009

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I feel your pain on the morning sickness. Mine started at six weeks and last through six months. Went away for a couple months then came back the last few weeks.

Cristy - posted on 01/05/2009

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Not me. I have two and am done. I had Miles and found out I was pregnant with Jai two weeks before Miles turned one. They ended up being only 19 months apart b/c Jai was born prematurely.

I will admit, I struggled in the beginning of my 2nd pregnancy emotionally. I was very sick and spent 4.5 months hovered over the toilet, in and out of the hospital for dehydration opposed to relishing every moment I could of my not-even-one-year-old. Now I know not everyone gets as sick as I did BUT I will be the first to tell you that missing your own son's first birthday party is NOT fun and something I simply hated. I barely got to see him b/c I was running to the other room to vomit the entire time.

So nope, we are dooooone after two pregnancies like that!!

Stacie - posted on 01/05/2009

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Yep, already 4 months pregnant. My kids will be 21 months apart and I can't wait!

Barb - posted on 01/05/2009

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We are probably going to start pretty soon. I have 3 siblings who are very close in age to me (5 1/2 years between the 4 of us) and we still love to hang out together. I'd like that for Jamie.

Allison - posted on 01/04/2009

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Some pros and cons I thought of are: 1. What if after you potty train (I would like Autumn to be out of diapers too) they regress after the baby is born? 2. Your first child seems so perfect you're scared that if you do have another, you won't be so lucky. 3. The cost of child care if you decide you need to work to afford a second child (but then... what would the point of having another baby if you won't be able to spend time with it??) Haha.. 4. Am I ready to gain 35+lbs again? Physically and emotionally? 5. Waiting does make your child more aware of the other baby.. but.. do you really want them to possibly be jealous? Right now it doesn't even phase my baby when I'm holding another baby...



Just some thoughts..

Nikki - posted on 01/03/2009

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I've been pondering the same thing. With my son not sleeping through the night consistently (we just started the Cry it out method and we are doing pretty good now) and all of the rough patches as first time parents, my husband and I always talk about not having any more kids. I always think about it thought...I don't want Brian to be an only child. I would like a larger family. We are not even considering ANYTHING until Brian is 2 years old. (I don't want them, if we decide to have more, to be too far apart in age). Well, that is where I am at right now.
If you come up with ideas on why not to or why to have more kids, please let me know!

[deleted account]

I got preggo 3 months after giving birth and now I have two Sept babies. I absolutely LOVE it. I plan on having another child after I get my Masters degree in 2 years. I want 6 children all together. Im 22 now I hope to be done having kids by my early 30s

Hally - posted on 01/03/2009

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We are planning on adding to our family. Our goal is to have Madilyn out of diapers before the second one arrives. We are planning on TTC this summer that way Madi will be about 2 1/2-3 years old when her little brother or sister arrives. That way too she will be more aware of her very important role of being a big sister. Hally

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