Biting, kicking and hitting

Lexi - posted on 01/17/2009

My son went through the biting stage as well. He only bit me because I'm the main discipliner and he would only bite if I was telling him not to do something, basically, anytime he was upset. I know alot of parents are doing this new attachment parenting (?) but I'm not into it. I'm not old fashioned or anything (I'm only 21), but I firmly believe in spanking, even at a young age. Not hard, just enough to shock them. Everytime my son bit me I'd smack his mouth and say, "No biting! That is not nice!" I did that a few times and in about a weeks time he stopped biting and he hasn't bit since. I do the same thing with hitting except I swat his hand. It's not abuse, and it won't traumatize your child. My child is very well behaved and people always tell me I'm lucky that he listens so well. I'm not lucky, I just trained him early on to know what is right and wrong.

Shelly - posted on 01/16/2009

Thank you!! At this point, everything is worth a shot!!

Jennifer - posted on 01/13/2009

Shelly,

My son is also in the biting, kicking and hitting stage.  My husband and I agreed that corporal punishment was not an option for us.  To that end, I've talked to our pediatrician, other moms, researched online, and read all the books I have on child behavior.  The peditrician said that most of the behavior we're trying to detur is a result of frustration because babies at this age don't have the language skills to express their wants or needs.  The method that our pediatrician recommended, and the method that we're using, is the time out method.  When the acts occur, we put our charming little one in timeout against a wall in our hallway where he can't see into other rooms and there are no toys or books around.  He sits in that timeout spot for an entire minute.  Sometimes I have to physically hold him there for the entire minute to prevent him from crawling away, walking away, rolling around, etc.  If your little one is sitting in timeout, not moving from the spot, and still doesn't seem visibly upset, I think you're doing just fine.  The primary purpose for timeout, in my opinion, is to give him a cooling down period.  When the minute expires, I tell my son why he's been sat in time out and that we don't bite/hit/kick/stand on chairs/stand on rocking horses/standing in the wagon/etc.  I tell him that if he does it (any of the aforementioned acts) again then he's coming right back to timeout.  It seems like there are days where we spend most of it in timeout.  Pediatrician and other moms say consistency is the key.  We try out best to be aware of these "charming" acts all the time and are constantly reminding him about the things he's not allowed to do.  Our caregiver is also on board with this method and enforces it strictly during the day when we're not there.  I've had many frustrating days where is seemed like he'd never "get it"!!!  Recently, after several months of a lot of timeout, we've started to see some progress: not standing in his reading chair, sitting on the rocking horse instead of standing on it, sitting and not standing in his wagon.  Whatever method you choose to go with, making sure that the discipline is consistent and that everyone involved in his life is onboard is the key.  He's counting on you for the consistency as well.  My son gives me the smug smile now when he's about to do something he's not suppose to in an effort to test the waters.  Just stick with it and hang in there.  Things will get better.  I apologize for the length of this response.  I hope it helps!  Best of luck, Mommy!