Major changes have resulted in major attitude...

Melissa - posted on 07/13/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My almost 3 year old daughter has gone through many major changes recently...starting almost a year ago (just before her 2nd bday) I had my 3rd child - so she was no longer the "baby" and was moved out of the crib and into a toddler bed. More recently, she changed bedrooms and now sleeps with her older sister (8 yr age difference), she gave up her pacifier and sippycups, is almost completely toilet trained, I started back to work - which meant daycare for her, and now she's refusing naps!!
What I thought was just the "terrible two's" has gotten out of hand. She throws multiple tantrums each day. Cries whenever she's told "no". Clings to me and my hubby when we drop her at daycare. The other morning she got up and immediately told me that she was angry with me because I was always "getting rid of her" so now she is going to "get rid" of me too. Then she tried role playing with me where she said "ok, now I'm the Mommy and I'm going to work so you're going to cry. And when I come back you'll be really happy".
Clearly she's upset with me and is trying to express it. But what can I do to reassure her and how do I deal with the tantrums?

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Claire - posted on 07/17/2010

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I just got the following book 'I Brake for Meltdowns' !: How to Handle the Most Exasperating Behavior of Your 2 to 5-year-old” by Barbara O'Neal, Michelle Nicholasen and it actually makes a lot of sense and a good book to dip into and out of. My son is not overally difficult but there are a lot of different scenarios and good practical advice on how to handle.

Jeneva - posted on 07/13/2010

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Talk to her about it a lot. Clearly she can communicate her feelings to you so you need to talk with her about all of these changes and how she has felt with all of them and ask her what she wants. Start spending one-on-one time with her, maybe a weekly "date" that she can look forward to.

Good luck! It will get better.

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