getting rid of the pacifier

Erica - posted on 07/20/2010 ( 40 moms have responded )

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i need some advise on getting rid of my sons pacifier. i dont know how to get him to get rid of it. he seems to need it all the time not just at bed or nap. any ideas would be helpful. thanx

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[deleted account]

I thought we would have a hard time with this. However, my son was broke of the pacie in one weekend!
We just simply cut the tip of the pacie off. He continued to hold it and put it in his mouth but he no longer got the same effect so he chose to not use it anymore 'on his own'!

Danielle - posted on 07/27/2010

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Hello. I literally just got rid of my daughter's pacifier this week. I had her put it in the garbage herself and wave bye bye to it. And now when she wants it I just remind her that her su su went bye bye. It seemed to work perfectly. Another option would be to sneak it away from him and one point and cut the tip off of the pacifier. Not the whole suckie part, just the tip. Then it ruins the fun in it and you can explain to him that it's broken so you may as well throw it away. That's how all of my other friends did it. Shayla, my daughter, just listens so well that she put it in the garbage herself. I hope this helps you!!!!
Good luck!

[deleted account]

Sorry to hear about his teeth....Chad and I have great teeth. At 33 I've never had a cavity...hopefully Roxanne adopts our genes?...so far so good!

At first I was determined to take Roxanne's pacifier away at 12 months but as we went I learned that for us, it's not a big issue so she's still allowed to use it for sleep. I don't however, allow it during the day....AT ALL! I've done my research and made a conscious decision that I don't mind her using it for bedtimes even up til 3-4 years old AS LONG AS she doesn't have any problems with her teeth etc. At 14 months we took her to see a pediatric dentist (just cuz it was free and we could) and she told us that everything looked good with her teeth alignment, no cavities etc but we're supposed to check back around 2 to see if anything has changed.

Anyhow, I'm rambling....AGAIN!

[deleted account]

Well you have two choices.
#1 Go cold turkey and be prepared for some hellish days for a couple of weeks
or
#2 Wean him off it gradually.
With weaning you could start by limiting pacifier time to only sleeping times.
Or you could start by taking it and putting it out of sight until after breakfast. Try to keep your child distracted and not looking for it for as long as you can. We instituted a no pacifiers outside rule and then gradually "sucky" only at sleep times and then one night I just didn't give it to him for bed time.
We had a couple of restless nights (we just kept offering a sippy cup of water and his stuffed Bear) when he asked for it in the wee hours of the morning.

Some say the cold turkey method is better others say weaning is better.

Really goes with what works best with your philosophy and beliefs. In my experience as a Mom and as a Child Care provider both methods have their pros and cons and work.

Good luck!

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40 Comments

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Sunet Smit - posted on 08/26/2010

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Id also like to know when to get rid of the pacifier, My son can sometimes go without it for a day but then looks for it again. How do i get him of the pacifier permanently.

Vanessa - posted on 08/18/2010

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I would say to do what best suits you, your kid and your family. You can't just throw it away and have to cope with tears and tandrums or have him keep it for much too long. See what's better for you all and don't get overwhelmed by other replies.
My son is 26 months and I have t deal with issues such pacifier, potty training and sleeping alone during all night in his bed, but I can't force him do all these things just because kids should learn. Bear in mind that he started nursery school as well. I just give him time and little by little I'm sure that we'll manage with all these problems.

Kathy - posted on 08/17/2010

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I broke my son off the pacifer at 17mths old. He had it all day all night one in his mouth and one in his hand, seriously. I started by just taking it from him during the day but allowing him have it at naps and bedtime did this for 2 days. then the next step was i took it from him at nap time for 2 days. then took it away at bedtime and that was that. It was shockingly easy. He only had a fit the first night.

Tobey - posted on 08/15/2010

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I established rules for the pacifier when my son was very young - in order to have it, he had to be in bed or in my arms (or in the carseat in the car! But now the car is off-limits for the pacifier). He seems to be very attached to it, and will go get it to watch TV now, or will bring it to me in the kitchen. I am trying not to make a big deal out of him using the pacifier because I think for a lot of kids it becomes a control issue. He is not allowed to take it out of the house, and he is told it HAS to be in his room if he has it -- that has curbed his using it a lot because if he comes out with it, he is sent back to his room. He doesn't want to sit in his room by himself, so he will reluctantly throw it back into his bed.

Erica - posted on 08/09/2010

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for those of you who responded thanx. my son said the other day he was going to give his passies to the birds and no longer wants them. if he finds one in the house he give it to me and said give birds. i thought it would be a struggle but it was not. i am going on a very long bus ride so we are taking a couple with us just in case. it was like all of the sudden he started to go potty on the big potty and get rid of the passies. the advise was great. i did try a few but they did not work when he was ready he told me. thanx again.

Charlotte - posted on 08/02/2010

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Daycare told me one way is to cut of the end! so they have difficulty putting it in their mouth & get fed up & give up, then you throw it in the bin with them! am still to try it myself but will give it a try. :)

Jennifer - posted on 08/02/2010

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We got rid of my daughter's pacifier when she was 18 months old and we did it "cold turkey" but then she only used it for bed and nap time. I suggest keeping it only at nap and bedtime. Substitute a favorite stuffed animal for comfort. Then move to no pacifier at nap and bedtime. It will be tough at first but once you make it past the first 5 days, you're golden!! Make sure to throw them ALL away. Oh and DO NOT say pacifier around them for awhile LOL!
Hope this helps, just remember to stay strong!

Angie - posted on 08/02/2010

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What we did with my oldest is we clipped off the tip of it and within 4 days she didnt want anything to do with it, and we didnt have any screaming or anything. But I have had friends that have had to clip it down to almost nothing but it worked for them too. I have a 22 month old that will be having her "plug" cut here very soon also

Audrey - posted on 08/01/2010

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We started with forbidding it during waking hours. It was only used at naptime and for bedtime. Did this for about 6 months. Then one day I told her I gave the paci's to the babies cause they needed them. She only asked for her twice after that and seemed ok with it being gone. My daughter was a MAJOR paci girl so I thought it was going to be a huge fight. She's 22 months and we have been paci free for 2 months now. She never asks about it. You can do it, just decide when the time is right for you and stick with your plan. :)

Shea - posted on 08/01/2010

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We went through the same thing, but now we just leave it in his cot only for sleep times, with timmy his teddy 'looking' after it and he's not alould to have it unless he's in his cot.. It's made bed time a hel of alot easier to because he's settling himself alot easier :)
Goodluck..

Betsy - posted on 08/01/2010

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My son is 22 months old. He is getting three of his molars all at once and uses it during the day to really chew on. Before these teeth started coming in the only time he has it is when he is in the bed and I do take it in the car. I always have one in my purse or diaper bag just in case. I just started telling him those are for when you are in the bed and when he gets up he throws it back in the bed....

Emily - posted on 07/31/2010

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replace it with another comfort object- blanky, bear... start off by taking the binky while he is fast asleep and when he wakes up have the comfort object there... We did it one night like that at 9 months and then the next night all he wanted was his Beeeeee- (AKA blanky!) he hasnt used one since!!

Erica - posted on 07/30/2010

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i have not had any luck with getting rid of the passie, i did however start potty traning so as of right now i am going to leave the passie as it cause he chose that he wanted to go potty by himself. i dont want to do to much at once.

Tara - posted on 07/30/2010

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out of sight, out of mind. I had to wean my 1 and 2 yr. old at the same time. at first I thought, they'd have it forever, but once I started realizing that they could go longer and longer without it when I didn't always have one around waiting for them, then I knew it would be easier if they never saw one again! and its been almost 2 mos. now binky free! they would ask for it sometimes, but at that age you can say just about anything to distract their train of thought, for example: offering a snack or a lollipop, put in a movie or color a page, or take out an old toy that hasn't been played with for a while. hope this helps and who knows you may have already had some luck, considering its about 10 days later!

Kathy - posted on 07/30/2010

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I weaned my son by telling him it was for bed time only and if he wanted it he would need to go to bed. Then it was no longer allowed at naps and last was bed time. Looks like you already got some good advice. Good luck!

Shelly - posted on 07/30/2010

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I used the dummy fairy when it was time for us to get rid of it . We prepared our daughter for about 2 or 3 weeks that the dummy fairy was coming to take her dummies and give them to a new baby and that she would leave a present to say thank you . You then find out what your child really wants - for my little girl it was a princess chair . Then on the night the fairy is coming she put all her dummies into a little sparkly puch I bought and she chose where to hang it . I reminded her that she would have a present waiting and she happily went off to bed . She was so happy the next morning and she has never asked for her dummy once. We plan on using this method with our other daughter once she is just over two . I have told other friend swho have also then used this method and it has worked a dream . I hope this helps you too.

Mary - posted on 07/29/2010

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My daughter went to bed one night with out it, so we threw them all away and when she woke up she didnt ask for it. i did the same with her bottles.. one night when she went to be without taking one i took them all and put them away and gave her sippy cups the next day and she didnt make a fuss... out of sight out of mind i've always said.

Jenny - posted on 07/29/2010

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We are in the same process. For a time we reached a point that she only got it at night, and ok with it. I think she really wanted it at night because of the darkness, even with night lights. Now she wants it at nap time too. She still wants it at all time, if she has access to it. We backslid because of sickness and some changes in our lives.
We do our best to keep it out of sight, where she can't get it. For a time we kept it on the top of the changing table. Then she figured out how to climb it to get the binky. For her, out of sight, out of mind, unless she's in her crib. When we get her out of the crib we ask for it, and she pulls it out of her mouth and into our hand. In the coming months I plan to wean her of it all together.
My brother weaned his 2 sons of it by telling them that big boys didn't have binkies and they decided they wanted to be big boys and never wanted the binky again.
I've also heard of parents cutting the nipple just a bit so that when sucked on it flattened out and the kids didn't want it anymore. There are so many ways to do it, its up to you and your son's personality style.
Be grateful he's not a thumb sucker, or this would end up being a lot worse.

[deleted account]

My DS is 22 months and has used a paci at bed time and nap time for about a year. It became part of his bedtime routine and he freaked out if we didn't hand it to him. So, we cut the nipple off and he tried to put it in his mouth and realized that there was nothing to suck on! He laughed and held it for a few minutes but fell right to sleep! We have been paci-free for almost a week! LOL

Genevieve - posted on 07/28/2010

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I through all away after i realise it gave him gas n he ate less...when he sleeps at first he still reaches for it...n wake u crying but its been three wks now n am happy i took it away...its too addictive

Jen - posted on 07/27/2010

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It's tough. My son LOVED his pacifier. We got him down to just at bedtime. Then when we were spending Christmas visiting some family, we couldn't find it one night. We were wondering if maybe the dog took it so we told him the puppy ate it. A week later we get a call from Grandpa - he found it in his shoe. By then my son didn't need it anymore but my son still believes the puppy ate his pacifier :)

Wanda - posted on 07/26/2010

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My son still uses his for naps and bedtime. during the day, if he sees it, he'll put it in his mouth, but when i ask him to give it to me he will, no struggle at all. Then i put it where he can't see it and don't bring it out til nap/bedtime. I haven't taken it away bc sometimes it's for MY mental health that I will give it to him! LOL When he's crying nonstop...but usually, he gets that way when he's tired...so it all works out! =)

Helen Katrina - posted on 07/25/2010

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i just went cold tirkey on my daughter with her pacifier, i was really surprised by how well she has done, she cried for about an hour after i took it from her but after that i havent really had any issues, only the odd getting up in the middle of the night looking for something to comfort her, so i give her a teddy instead and that seems to the trick =)

Tara - posted on 07/25/2010

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My daughter still uses her pacifier and I don't want her to have it as much either. I don't have the heart to cut it in front of her or throw it yet. Her school teacher said you'll know and won't feel wishy washy about it when its time. I have my daughter put it in her crib when she wakes up and that seems to really help because she's in charge then and I'm not taking it away. I also have a friend that brought the pacifiers to the humaine society and left them with a cat or dog because they needed them and the child was thrilled.

Erica - posted on 07/25/2010

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it drives me nuts cause now my mom got one in a bag of stuff she got somewhere and it is a pink one and that is like the only one he wants now. i hate it. i need to get rid of it but every time he is ready for a nap or gets tired he asks for his passie and pillow. at least he another comfort item but he still need the darn passie.

Sharena - posted on 07/25/2010

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i have 22m old twins and i only give them one when theyre sleeping my son will not wake if he spits it out but my daughter will scream the house down. each child is different if you want to wean it if say cold turkey doesnt work wait a week or so n try a different way. something is bound to work for you :)
my sister in law tried the whole the fairies came n took them and said i cant give it to you anymore and that worked for her...

Teagan - posted on 07/25/2010

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when I was little I had mine up until I was 3 my mum thought nothing of it and I have beautiful teeth never had a filling or anything... There is nothing wrong with kids having them in my opinion obviously they need it for a reason... My son is 23 months old and he only uses his for sleep time and nap time or if his teething bad! (his still missing a few teeth.) and most the time as soon as his asleep he spits it out. They will get rid of it in there own time...

AMY - posted on 07/24/2010

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I did the cold turkey with the bottle wow best of luck my prayers are with you because it becomes a battle of the will who is stronger

Carla - posted on 07/24/2010

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My 22mnth old son loves the paci also. I dont know how Im going to break him either.

Julie - posted on 07/24/2010

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my son as had the same brand of dummies since birth, so what i ave dun is change these to the horriblest dummies, instead of havin dummies all ova the house we now only have 2!! although he is still using them he isnt using them as much and often gives me them back but he now knows thats the only 2 there is cos i made him put all the others in the bin, i will be much happier when hes just having them at bedtime!!

[deleted account]

LOL That too Dana, I figured she was looking for options on the getting rid of it though.

Though personally (and my husband agreed) that if our son hit the age of three and still had it, he was going cold turkey.
We limited it because we knew he didn't need it and then one night Andrew forgot to give it to him and then the next night I did and he only asked for it in the wee hours of the morning, but a quick hug and snuggle sent him back to sleep.

We got rid of it because his teeth despite our extra vigilance in brushing etc are already showing signs of decay. Poor kid, got my genes on the teeth end.

[deleted account]

i think it is best to just totaly take it away. He will get upset but it will not last more then 1 week. if u take and give it back and forth it will make things really confusing for him . Memory of pacifier will linger for a longer period of time. u will prolong the stress. i think it should be thought of as a removing of a band aid, painful but fast. Our DD is 22m and we took away her pacifier when she was 9m and 10m but we would bring it back. Finally at 11m we took it away for good. it was ugly. she was cranky for 5 days. but then she was 100% ok. and in 2 weeks there was no memory of pacifier. Good luck!!! :)

[deleted account]

Just take it away and focus his attention somewhere else....just like anything else he'll eventually forget about it!

P.S. My daughter still uses her pacifier for nap and bedtime....I don't have a problem with it but I understand your frustration during the day. You need to help him learn to soothe himself in other ways if you don't want him to use it anymore.

Good luck.

Marissa - posted on 07/20/2010

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My daughter used hers a little bit of a security blanket as such and I was really concerned, However what I would do is if she dropped it and it got dirty, or it broke, I started telling her it was "yucky" and to "throw it in the bin". And she would toddle off and throw it out.

I think if you make them in control of the throwing out, it seems to make it easier, or get him to give it to someone.

Ultimately, my girlfriend just threw ALL of hers out and her daughter cried for a week, but then she forgot all about it.

So I suppose it just depends if you want to take the 'softly, softly' approach, or the hard line?!

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