HELP my son won't sleep!!!

Kristi - posted on 08/11/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Okay...I'm at my wits end right now...my 11 month old will not sleep. He's always gotten up a lot in the night and I thought it was because he's hungry (he's 25 lbs) or needs a snuggle but he won't put himself back to sleep. I was rocking him to sleep (in the middle of the night) but this has backfired because he's now worse & screaming 10 mins after I put him down. He was putting himself to sleep @ bedtime & naps just not in the night so we started the controlled crying where we go in every 10-15 mins if he's crying hard 20 if fussing.
Last night it was 1230-330am that he was up...not crying the whole time he takes 10-20 min breaks but then keeps going. Part of the problem is that he keeps sitting or standing up so I don't think he can get back down. But now (day 3) he won't go to sleep for naps either...this morning it took an hour and now he's been in there crying on & off for an hour & a half...and not asleep yet...
What do I do???? I think I messed him up...he never fought naps more that 30 mins before...
He also will not calm down unless we pick him up to comfort...and when I try to just lay him back down he immediately pulls himself up....HELP!!!!
We did this method with our first son @ bedtime, it took a week and he was good...what am I dong wrong this time???

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Kristi - posted on 08/13/2009

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Oh and he ALWAYS wakes up crying hard...never happy and talking like my older son did...he's only done that twice after out of character long naps which makes me think he's overtired!!!

Kristi - posted on 08/13/2009

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Quoting Tina:



Quoting Kristi:

Thanks ladies...I do have a book...but it seems more geared at newborns up to 6 months and well I missed that window...kicking myself now lol.
I keep thinking he's teething but I've been thinking that for 3-4 months & he only has 4 teeth. I've given him more tylenol/advil to try & help him than I think I've given my 3 year old total.
I was thinking we should maybe stop going in but he cries for so long & just sits up in his crib. I was 1230-330 am the other night (yes we were in & out) but that seems excessive to me...

How long does your daughter cry for Kathy...do you go in or no...does she sit or stand up too??





that particular book actually has a plan for newborns as well as toddlers.  How long is he up during the day?  How many naps and how long are they?  If he's doing that every night, it seems like he might be overtired.  If you haven't yet, try setting a wake/sleep routine,  Wake aroung the same time each day.  No more than 2 naps during the day, no longer than 1.5 hrs.  Bedtime by 7 - 8pm.






 



Tina,



 



Oh...I see, well I'l have to look at getting it then.  During the day he has 2 naps...he's usually up about 6am so I keep him up 3-4 hrs before his first nap (he's usuall y tired by about 3-3and a half hrs) so he goes down around 930, he sleeps anywhere from 30 mins to an hour and a half (usually 45mins).  Then he up say about 1030 and naps again about 230 for the same about 45 mins.  He goes to bed every night between 730 and 8 after a bath.  I do believe he is overtired because those odd days when he has a long nap (an hour and a half) he's so much happier.  



How do you set a sleep / wake routine...a set time to wake uo...so do you leave them crying in there room awake until a certain time?  This morning for example (went to bed at 730, up for a couple mins at 10 & 1030 then sleept good until 230 up for a bit then up at 410 am had a feed went to sleep for 15 mins...up again I got him back to sleep twice after that for 10 mins each then he was up up at 6 (yet only slept about 30-35 mins total on those 2 hrs).  So now I'm going to ty & wait until about 930 ish for nap...



I've thought about not giving him a second nap but he hardly sleeps as it is & is very tired so I don't know!  He averages 2-45 mins naps a day...goes to bed about 730-8 up half  the night, wakes usually between 4-5 & I have a hard time getting him back down if I even can then is up up about 6.  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!





 

Megan - posted on 08/13/2009

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Ladies, I feel your pain. My daughter will be 11 months next week and we have struggled with sleep almost her whole life. The last two weeks, she has FINALLY started sleeping...and she is sleeping a lot. 10-12 hours. The problem is, she is a night owl. I can't get her to sleep before midnight or 1am. Anyway, when she was teething it was the hardest. I was rarely certain that was the problem when it actually was...I just thought she was being stubborn. I started letting her cry for short intervals when she was 6 months. The first night it took her 9 hours to go to sleep...it was 5:30am! We had let her cry for up to twenty minutes at a time. It was a nightmare. We tried it for 12 nights and then I couldn't do it anymore. My instincts told me she just was not ready. So I went back to rocking her to sleep. Now I have a rule: if it's after midnight I start letting her cry a little if she wakes up. Usually she will fall asleep on her own after a couple of 15 minute intervals of crying it out. She ends up falling asleep for the night between midnight and 1am. We tried everything it seems...she just wasn't ready. And we also tried everything it seems to get her to go to bed earlier, and nothing would work. She's happy with this schedule, and I'm not working right now...so it's working for us. Looking back, I feel like she was teething and needed the extra comfort. We will probably go through a period like that again, no doubt! I know it is so frustrating though. Good luck.

Tina - posted on 08/12/2009

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Quoting Kristi:

Thanks ladies...I do have a book...but it seems more geared at newborns up to 6 months and well I missed that window...kicking myself now lol.
I keep thinking he's teething but I've been thinking that for 3-4 months & he only has 4 teeth. I've given him more tylenol/advil to try & help him than I think I've given my 3 year old total.
I was thinking we should maybe stop going in but he cries for so long & just sits up in his crib. I was 1230-330 am the other night (yes we were in & out) but that seems excessive to me...

How long does your daughter cry for Kathy...do you go in or no...does she sit or stand up too??


that particular book actually has a plan for newborns as well as toddlers.  How long is he up during the day?  How many naps and how long are they?  If he's doing that every night, it seems like he might be overtired.  If you haven't yet, try setting a wake/sleep routine,  Wake aroung the same time each day.  No more than 2 naps during the day, no longer than 1.5 hrs.  Bedtime by 7 - 8pm.



 

Kathy - posted on 08/12/2009

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oh only like 20 to 30 minutes! But I am in the room with her for like 10 minutes in the beginning and then walk out. Then I wait like 5 minutes and go back in if she is standing up. But she mainly stands up in the crib that is the problem. We are in day 2 of training. What we are doing is that I wait til she is sleepy and then I go and lay her down in the crib that is at 9pm. Then if she tries to stand up I say no it is bedtime and put her back on her back. If she keeps trying to stand I pop her hand lightly and say no. This goes on for about 10 minutes. Then I put her on her back and say good nite and kiss and walk out the room. I wait ten minutes before going back in. I try not to let her cry for more then 30 minutes total. She is just stubborn like her mommy I guess. But she is getting better.

Kristi - posted on 08/12/2009

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Thanks ladies...I do have a book...but it seems more geared at newborns up to 6 months and well I missed that window...kicking myself now lol.
I keep thinking he's teething but I've been thinking that for 3-4 months & he only has 4 teeth. I've given him more tylenol/advil to try & help him than I think I've given my 3 year old total.
I was thinking we should maybe stop going in but he cries for so long & just sits up in his crib. I was 1230-330 am the other night (yes we were in & out) but that seems excessive to me...

How long does your daughter cry for Kathy...do you go in or no...does she sit or stand up too??

Kathy - posted on 08/12/2009

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Oh my gosh I am going though the same thing. I hate it. I feel so bad having my daughter cry so much. She cries so much she ends up making herself horse. It is terrible. I don't know what I should do either. I just hope she learns quickly. It has only been 2 days. So I am hoping by the weeks end she is better. But she does the same thing you are talking about she sits up and grabs the crib railing and screams. I hope someone can give us suggestions.

Rebekah - posted on 08/12/2009

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Is he teething? Maybe wanting to kick morning naps? Is he switching his nap times? Maybe wanting to stay up longer periods of time now? My son is now up 5-6 hours at a time.

I wouldn't keep going in and laying him down, that will become a game to him. Maybe let him cry it out. I had to that because when I went in every 10-15 minutes he would just get more mad or he'd try to climb me to get out of the crib. I let him cry it out, he was out to sleep in 30 minutes because I laid him down, kissed his head, walked out and closed the door. It was hard because I don't like letting him cry it out, but it's not like he screamed for hours and he wasn't hungry, he wasn't in pain, just fighting sleep.

Tina - posted on 08/11/2009

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I tried this and it's worked wonders. My 11 month old Emilio goes to bed at 8pm and usually sleeps straight through until 6 - 7am in the morning. I say usually because there are still a few times when he wakes up at least once, but a quick 10 minute nursing session and he's ready to go back to sleep.



http://www.thebabysleepcoach.com click where it says "baby sleep system"



Consistency seems to be the main key. The book explains it all, and you can have it pretty quickly since it's available as an ebook. It's only $37.



As far as the not being able to get back down, when he's standing, guide his legs to a kneeling position, so he learns how to do it on his own.

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