how do i get my almost 3 year old to go to bed without me?

Jennifer - posted on 09/10/2011

Ouch!

Does he have a favorite stuffed animal to sleep with? My daughter and I would be lost without her Mr. Bear and her Charlie (stuffed dog). She sleeps with them every night and she usually takes one of her cloth or pressboard books to bed with her as well. Our rule is that bedtime means you have to be in bed and being quiet but not necessarily asleep right away. So long as she stays quiet I leave the bedroom door open so she can see the living room lights and hear me moving around. If she throws a tantrum the door gets closed for a few minutes (she HATES that) and when I open it back up she lays right down so I won't close it again.

We have very few tantrums, mostly when she's just over tired from a long day.

It took awhile to get her into the routine I wanted and to find the compromise that would work (IE, letting her have books in bed) but we found it and now I stick to it like religion lol. Bath/shower and jammies on an hour before bedtime, her last cartoon of the day (if she wants one) 30minutes before bedtime, also any books she wants read get read for the last time now, and when mom says "Bedtime" you go get in bed. If she lays down without a fuss I will rub her back for a few minutes which helps her relax and which she loves, but if she's fighting and disrespectful she loses that treat. Hugs and kisses are given and I leave the room.

Catha - posted on 09/06/2011

Poor you Kaity, I hope that you can try Nicole's suggestions. That must be very hard having a baby and toddler that keep you awake the whole night...we put nappies for the night time, so at least my daughter does not wake up for that.

I like Nicole's answer. My husband and I take turn everynight in putting our daughter to bed. We need to do the whole routine - pijamas, milk, toothbrushing, then laying down next to her in her bed and read her stories and/or tell her stories, and at times sing to her...it can be for a couple of hours at times. She is too interested in stories so sometimes she creates her own plots and discuss them with me....and keeps on asking for more stories.

Her birthday is coming up this Friday...I want to see if she will consider going to bed alone as she is a big girl now. I will let you know if it works.

Claire - posted on 09/06/2011

It is not a good habit to get into - but my almost 3 year old comes into our bed at night... it was the only way I could get sleep. If you are desperate you could try this, but be warned it is setting up another habit (that you may not want). you may get more sleep though. I'm obviously not a baby whisperer! - Nicole's idea sounds more appropriate - but I know my son would forget about the stickers during the night.

Nicole - posted on 09/01/2011

Short of letting him cry it out (and that will be a tough run from the sounds of it), I suggest bribing him
He gets a sticker for every night he goes to sleep (keep a firm bed time routine that includes an ending snuggle before you leave) by himself. An extra one for not waking you up after he goes to the bathroom at night.
At the end of the week if he has earned enough stickers he gets something really big that is important to him. Whether it's a toy he's been eying for a while or a special treat that he doesn't get to eat regularly or a trip to a favorite restaurant.
Also rule out he isn't afraid of something.
We have a fisher price kid camp lantern that we would be lost without. Our son hates sleeping with a light on BUT is nervous about falling asleep without a light.
The lantern is kid durable. It shuts itself off after 2 minutes AND it is incredibly easy to turn on. It also doesn't eat through batteries.
We've also given our son "monster spray" to scare away the mean monsters (apparently some of them are good we don't worry much about it he has an incredibly active imagination). Monster spray is a spray bottle of water and sparkles set to fine mist that is kept on the shelf by his bed that he can use if he wakes up and is afraid a monster is there.

I hope that helps and that you get some sleep soon!