How do I stop people from touching my kid when we are out in public???

Kara - posted on 04/27/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )

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Everytime (no exageration) i leave the house with my daughter we always run into atleast one person who has to touch her. I am fine with a compliment and am very thanful for them but when it comes to physical contact if you dont know me personally i dont feel that you should feel comfortable enough to touch my child. Am i wrong?? Besides this worries me about when she gets older if she is use to having contact with strangers how will i teach her stranger danger?? I have done everything i can think of and have even asked people to not touch her but they still persist. Does any body have any ideas?? PLEASE HELP and thank you. :)

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Kristen - posted on 04/28/2010

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I think if you have already told them not to touch and they are not listening you have every right to pick-up your child and say rather loudly " I have asked you once, Please don't touch my child." and walk away. This will make a sceene but it is worth it to teach your child that listening to people (especially Mommy) is important and to teach that person that there actions are not respectful or acceptable. If they confront you, stand your ground and explain that touching someone elses child is not acceptable. If they refuse to back down find a sales associate or walk into a store and make it more public.
Plain and simple your the mom and you and dad are really the only ones who have the right to touch your child. Be strong and be forcefull if needed. Protect your Child.

Alison - posted on 04/30/2010

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Odalis, what an ingenious product! Thanks for the link :)

For anyone who missed her link - scroll up!! (hehe)

ODALIS - posted on 04/29/2010

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its a sign that u can put on ur car seat for anout $8 bucks www.mytinyhands.com

Maxine - posted on 04/28/2010

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I know your pain ! haha except alot of it is serenity's fault, she openly goes up to people and hugs them. *sighs* so i can't exactly yell at someone when she is the one approaching them. I hope she outgrows this and starts developing some stranger anxiety. I get really uncomfortable when she hugs weird people.

There are people that do reach out to touch her first though, they always touch her hair or her hands or her cheeks. I hate that. A baby, just as much as we do, have their own personal space. I highly doubt they would ever touch your hand or your hair, it would be weird. I don't understand why it's acceptable to do that to a child. I like my childs body and personal space to be respected. I have asked people not to touch her before, i ask nicely though. I've never had anyone ignore me and continue doing it, now that would bring out the mother bear in me.

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Kiki - posted on 09/07/2013

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Omg I have this problem bad, whenever I go somewhere people feel obligated to try and touch my child, I have the sign it doesn't work I even told one person not to touch my baby and she still tried not only is it annoying its dangerous I live in az and Phoenix, az is notorious for child abductions not only that people have germs. So now I'm not nice about the situation I start asking people person questions like have you been tested for TB hepatitis or any other communicable diseases recently, when they look at you crazy and don't think you should be asking that I reply I have a right to know since you feel like you can just touch my child without permission, my child is not a doll and I don't treat her as such so please leave us alone an this is a warning.
I'm to the point where I'm researching about stun guns in case I have to use it on someone touching my child, and yes it will only be used as self defense I don't know if the person trying to touch my child is a child molestor or kidnapper and I refuse to take any chances!

Maria - posted on 07/23/2013

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I had a stranger who was about 60 go up to my girl toddler cough into his hand and rub it over her face and nose. He hadnt even spoken to me etc i was so shocked i didnt know what to do or how to word it. We were in a supermarket and she was in her trolley. I think he meant to tickle her but she cried and was really scared. I felt awful.

Laura - posted on 08/22/2012

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kara thank u for you post. i to cant stand it when strangers think it is ok to touch or invade babies space. we teach stranger danger, yet 1st thing they ask is whats her name. to my reply is who are you and are we not teaching children not to talk to strangers anymore.

Susan - posted on 05/10/2010

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Hello, my DD is a social butterfly that has never met a stranger. That being said, it freaks me out because she doesn't have stranger danger fears and therefore most strangers feel the need to touch her, and even pick her up and I am like wait a minute that's my kid and I DON'T know you. I ask them to please put her down. No she's not running around wild without me it usually happens at the doctor's office. They have a giant bird cage and she likes to stand by the birds and watch them.

I try to be as nice as possible but it's freaky when a stranger is trying to hold your baby some people need to learn that even toddlers have personal space.

Kathy - posted on 05/07/2010

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The sign that is talked about is also sold at baby depot store. Lucky I don't have this problem thanks to my son, he well began to cry or even scream when someone he doesn't now trys to touch him. But when someone does try I just say " he gets sick to easy please don't touch him"

Tassia - posted on 04/30/2010

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OMG! I have that problem with my 19 month old Tru since she was 3 months old! People would walk up and want to touch her face, hug her, pinch her cheeks, you name it. Even little kids, would try to hug her or hold her hands. I would walk with hand sanitizer wipes and if they touch her before I get to stop them I would wipe that part infront of them. If I see them reaching in I stop them and tell them I would rather them not touch her please, would invite Tru to say hi/bye to them. They would usually smile and wave to her. I am not sure why people think it is okay to touch other peoples kids and it's always in her face they want to touch!

Lisbeth - posted on 04/30/2010

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I have the same problem and really I don't mind too much but then right after I wipe were ever they touched with a wipe just b/c of all the germs and stuff. I would rather that my child doesn't become shy and is friendly to people but if she doesn't want to be touched she will let you know by saying no she is 19 months and knows what she likes and doesn't. If you however don't want your child touched I would ask them nicely then explain why and ask them if the would like perfect strangers to come up to them and touch them and if the would like their personal space invaded most people don't acknowledge children as people and need to be reminded that they are.

Emma - posted on 04/29/2010

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heidi is always having her cheek pinched or touched by people when we go out at first she used to smile and giggle but now she is a year and a half she and hides her face when she sees people even close family i think with time and your teachings she will learn all she needs to be safe out and about the others are right you the mum if you dont like what they are doing pick her up and walk away

Maxine - posted on 04/29/2010

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she is a total sweetheart, there was this one time she was walking in zellers and she seen this really old couple, like 80 yrs old and she went up to the old man just out of nowhere and gave him a hug. The old couple were like "awww" and she doubled back and gave him a second hug. That was one time i didn't mind her going and being friendly because it was just so sweet.

Alison - posted on 04/29/2010

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@ Maxine (hi again!): your daughter sounds like a total sweetheart! I think the stranger anxiety comes with age and knowledge that not everyone is family or a friend. Remember when they were infants and they generalized all adults and then one day there were differences and they didn't want to let go of Momma or Daddy? That'll happen again, I'm sure!

As far as touching the kidlet goes, I live in a place where it's a cultural thing to reach out and put a cross - IN SPIT - on the kid's forehead. Touching would be preferred, trust me. I have had to ward off old abuelas ("grandma" in Spanish) who think they're saving my child's soul from the Evil Eye by doing this, and it sometimes feels like a wrestling match. You're not alone!

I think the best you can do is ask 'em nicely not to touch your child and then pick up the kid and walk away if they don't obey your wishes. Kristen is absolutely right - you're the mom, it's your child, take control and take yourself out of the situation.

Kara - posted on 04/28/2010

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Thank you Kristen, i was just worried maybe i was being too paranoid. Ariah is my first child and i didnt know if maybe thats just something some people do. As for me i would never dare walk up to some one elses kid and touch them, thats crossing a boundary to me. But im so glad to know that the way i feel about this subject is not just me being crazy. Thank you so much for your input it puts my mind at rest and know i now how to handle it. Thanks again

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