How long do you let your baby cry at night?

Nora - posted on 02/03/2009

i also do not believe in letting them cry it out method eventhough that is what my husband wants us to do. The longest I let her cry is about few minutes while i wait outside the door. It generally takes about 2-3 times putting her back in the crib before she goes down. But ever since she got her 4 month vaccinations and started teething it much more difficult.

Emma - posted on 02/01/2009

just to say ... i would NEVER let my baby scream so hard she was barely taking breaths.. there is such thing as controlled crying but i think that is far past it.. not only is it EXTREMELY upsetting to baby but it also makes bedtime and time in cot/basket an extremely negative time... please jessica do not try that xx

Maria - posted on 01/30/2009

Crying it out does break the bond. However, there are some things that you can try to help your baby learn how to sleep. Nursing your baby to sleep is putting baby to sleep and not letting them learn how to do it themselves. The Baby Whisperer books talk about using a shush pat method that helps babies learn how to go to sleep. The main thing is to put them in the bed still awake and finish the going to sleep process in there, either being so tired they just fall asleep or going off to sleep with some patting. Since your nursing you could try keeping your little one just barely awake and then putting her in bed so drowsy that sleep overcomes her. Also important is knowing why baby is waking - is she hungry? Or is it out of habit? If it is out of habit, you should try to help her get back to sleep rather than just nursing her or she will keep waking up to do the nursing even though she doesn't need to.

Erica - posted on 01/30/2009

We don't let Shelby cry it out. I attempted to do this once and when I went in to pick her up after a few minutes she had a huge burp. They cry to tell us somthing is wrong and in her case painful gas. She is a pretty good sleeper for the most part anyway wakes up 1 or 2 times a night. Drs say at this age a 5 hour stretch is considered all night anyway. I don't want to betray her trust in me, I want her to know I will always be there for her. I think letting the, cry is telling them that when they need us most we bail.

Jessica - posted on 01/29/2009

Thanks for all your thoughts.  I'll keep them all in mind.  I find it so hard to listen to Emma cry that I don't let her cry for more than 5 minutes.  And she doesn't like her pacifier.  We've been trying one off and on since she was a few weeks old and she just spits them out.  Now she can spit it across the crib!  Very occasionally it will help her fall further asleep if she's just very mildly fussy.  I'm concerned with her not sleeping the night.  I know it will come.  I was more curious about the crying to sleep business.  I've read lots of posts where people do it, but they don't really say how they do it.  Anyway, thanks again, and keep posting if you have different ideas! :)

Bridie - posted on 01/29/2009

we would wake our son more duing the day and give him feeds every 2-3 hours and bit less as got older an would give him one big bottle at 9.30 with clean bum an good burp an he'd stay down till 5 next morning whihc i thinks great.. then he'd have another bottle an go back down til 9 an b up for in the night gardern.. haha.. hope that helps.. and try always keepin the room more light duing day an dark as soon as u want bedtime in line.. all the best.. x

Cathy - posted on 01/29/2009

We don't let our 4 mth old cry it out.... he's crying to tell us something is wrong. If you let him "cry it out" then you're telling him that you're not listening to his only method of communication right now. Babies can sleep through the night at this age, but most don't. Sometimes my little guy cries and when I pick him up, he has a burp and goes back to sleep. If I had let him cry then he would have just been uncomfortable or in pain because of the burp. Sometimes they just need to know you're there, or they've had a bad dream. Letting a baby cry it out only undermines their trust in you being there as their parent. Be there for them when they need you and you can believe that when they cry, it's for a good reason. The sleeping through the night will come when they're ready.

MaryAnn - posted on 01/28/2009

We don't let her cry either. I am lucky that she sleeps through most of the night. She does wake up once or twice @ night. When she wakes, either hubby or I change the diaper, swaddle, then nurse/bottle. She'll take a paci for about a minute before she falls asleep. The heartbeat or the ocean sounds helps lull her (& me) to sleep as well.

Jessica - posted on 01/28/2009

My son is the same age as yours and has been sleeping through the night (from 7pm till 5.30 am) since he was about 2 months old. I guess im lucky, but he still gets overtired sometimes and is really hard to get to sleep in the first place. What i do is let him cry for a couple of minutes and go in and settle him and give him back his dummy then go back out again, i find that if i let him scream for longer than 5 minutes he gets himself to worked up and it makes it even harder to get him to sleep. sometimes this will take 10 to 15 mins of going in and out but eventually he goes off to sleep..i hate the thought of him going to sleep sad too so thats another reason why i dont let him cry himself to sleep

Katie - posted on 01/28/2009

I think that a schedule is one of the most important things for most babies. It's comforting for them if they know what to expect. We've tried to do that for our daughter. We feed her at 8pm, which is her last feeding of the day, let her have a little awake time if she seems wide awake and then put her to bed. Sometimes if she's fussy and is crying we'll wait 5-10 minutes. Usually she'll just put herself to sleep and i think that's important. If they don't learn to put themselves to sleep then that can be a problem once they get a little older. It's good for them and healthy for them to learn this. If she doesn't put herself to sleep and she keeps crying then we'll go in there and comfort her with her pacifier or we'll just pat her stomach. We try not to pick her up though. She's 4 months old and has been sleeping through the night since she was 2 months old. Now she goes to bed by 8:30pm and doesn't wake up until 7:30 or 8am. She's happy and healthy, so I think it's working. Good luck!

Kristin - posted on 01/28/2009

We don't let her cry at all. I know it can be frustrating when they only sleep for a few hours but I wouldn't recommend letting them cry at this age, they are still too young and it can be really traumatizing for them, especially if you let them get worked up. Babies have different sleep patterns and some don't sleep for long stretches, it is totally normal. At this age, they know best what they need.
Anyway, when she doesn't want to fall asleep on her own we try a few different things. The pacifier always helps. My husband also rocks her to sleep sometimes. Sometimes I just lay in the room with her and she is more relaxed when she sees me next to her. We also bought a rain machine/projector which keeps her calm and entertains her while she is falling to sleep. The rain machine works miracles if you don't already have one. Of course if nursing works, it is better than letting her cry it out. Good luck!

Rachelle - posted on 01/28/2009

My daughter just turned four months and she loves to sleep her full nights, however, I've had the issue too where she was so tired that she didn't know how to fall asleep. I did a bit of reading and most places said to keep a consistent bed time routine and eventually they clue in that it is bed time. So I started a routine of bath, bottle, maybe a little bit of play to completely tire her out (not always needed though), read her the same story so she is familiar with it and clues in what is coming next. It was difficult the first few nights, but so were my previous nights so I really had nothing to lose, lol! I noticed that by being consistent, each night got a little bit easier than the previous, her cries would get shorter and shorter.
In the beginning, if her cries really got out of control, I picked her up and comforted her (most of the time she had a burp) and I put her back down; I read it's important not to let your baby fall asleep in your arms. My daughter also likes music and I'll play the same song every night which helps soothe her to sleep.
Someone else also suggested a crib training method (which I also read in a book later on) to stay beside your baby and comfort her until she falls asleep, then move to a rocking chair, then stand a the door, and then just walk in a few time to let her know you are around. I didnt really follow that method, I go based upon her mood. If she in generally happy I'll walk in and out to check on her and surprisingly I walk in to find her asleep. Other nights when she is fussier, I'll let her cry it out for awhile and then stay by her side and comfort her. I don't know if I'm spoiling her in any kind of way, but it's working and I barely have to pick her up anymore. I guess you do what you feel is right and your baby will let you know what she wants.
I hope this makes sense and might be helpful :P Good luck!

Courtney - posted on 01/28/2009

We let our baby cry for about 20 minutes before we go in.  Then just to give the paci, we try not to pick him up.  He usually doesn't cry for the full 20 min, usually he goes back to sleep after 10-15 minutes.  I put him down at 7pm, feed him before bed about 10:30 and then once during the night about 3:30am.  Good luck!

Rebekah - posted on 01/28/2009

This is how we did the cry it out method.  We would walk in to let our son we heard him, give him his paci, then walk out.  We'd let him cry until he would scream so hard, he was barely taking breaths... which was usually within 10 minutes.  Then we'd go back in, calm him down without picking him up, give him his paci... and walk back out.  If he was definitely not going back to sleep after the third time of doing that, we'd let him cry until he was mad that it tired him out enough that when we picked him up he'd go to sleep in our arms then we'd lay him down for the night.  After a week of doing that, he started sleeping 6 hour stretches, now he's doing 8-9 hour stretches.   Hope that helps...