My baby is better than your baby (over it)

Jessica - posted on 12/28/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

65

16

5

Any one else tired of your friends /family members always comparing their child to yours in a competitive way. I've noticed people doing it when their children are years apart in age from my daughter but its worse with the few friends and family member who have a child close to my daughters age. I just want to enjoy my daughters childhood and not press her to grow up any quicker, but sometimes all the comparisons get to me. I know my daughter is where she should be developmentally, but what is more important to me is that she has a carefree, fun and magical childhood!!!!! Im also planning on homeschooling her just so she can enjoy her childhood and grow, learn, and discover at her own pace. I just dont understand why some parents think the most important thing is how "smart" their kids seem to be, doesn't anyone care about having a happy , well adjusted, silly, fun, kind, mindful child???? I just needed to vent I guess.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

11 Comments

View replies by

Michelle - posted on 01/10/2010

21

12

5

I totally know what you mean. I've had some friends/family that used to do that. One by one they've learned to keep their mouth shut though. Each time they'd start in, either me or hubby would just look at 'em and tell 'em that atleast he is happy, healthy, well fed, and well taken care of. He has clothes to wear, food to eat and toys to play with and has a clean diaper. Atleast he has parents that love him and would do anything in the world for him. Then we would pick him up and leave. Family/friends have learned to either be nice and shut up, or we won't be there, lol. So gatherings go alot smoother now. :)

Holly - posted on 01/09/2010

10

10

0

I hate it too. My son and his cousin are 4 months apart. And they are always getting compared. Leo is my son and was premature, so he has been developing on his on time and pace. I love that but for some reason every time we get together for holidays and what not its always Sulle can do this now and that i bet Leo can't. Sometimes i just want to hit her...ugg i dislike my husband sister very much. I want to enjoy my son. Besides they are only this age once, and it goes by to quickly as it is. I totally agree with you. Well when it comes time for you to homeschool your lil one good luck. : )

Alana - posted on 01/08/2010

1

8

0

I feel the same way as you mothers. My brother in law is the absolute worst. He is already super competitive. It only got worse when he met his super competitive girlfriend and they had a child together. Their baby is 1 month older than mine so they are CONSTANTLY comparing the two. Everytime we see them, they give us an update on how "awesome" their son is doing and telling me "don't worry Bryce will catch up" (My son is super tiny for his age) It drives me insane to the point that I don't want to go to my brother in law's house anymore.

Susan - posted on 01/07/2010

160

9

26

I get this from my cousins about my baby's weight. They all had giant babies, we're talking almost 10 lbs at birth. So to them Lily looks little and they ALWAYS make comments about it. We don't push Lily at all, she picks up words very easily. I get tired of people telling me that I pushed her to do stuff early, because I don't and I didn't. If it were up to me she would still be a newborn! ;) She's a little mocking bird all on her own.

Caryn - posted on 01/06/2010

441

17

111

I get comments ALLL the time. Not just on comparisions of my children but also on the fact that I am a young mom and look MUCH younger than I really am. I learned very early on to ignore the comments but some days I just can't. If I hear somone talking behind my back or if someone comments on what my child isn't doing that their child is I open my mouth.
I explain to them that my kids are all exactly where GOD intends them to be not where stastics say they should be. I may not be the mother of the year but I do the best I can and all of my kids are happy and healthy and thats all I could ask for!

Wendy - posted on 01/06/2010

17

16

6

Good on you for venting! I'm in the same agreement with my son (he's 15 months)! I'd much prefer him to discover the world through sight, sound and touch. I want him to be a "kid" and learn at his own pace and discover magic in the world around him.

I remember when I went to my hairdresser recently; he has a son a month or two older than mine. I expressed interest in his boy. And the whole 2 hours I waws there he was obsessed about how his son was learning sign language ("Oh yeah," I commented, "I'm doing that with my son that, but he doesn't respond too much") But the whole conversation was so centred on his boy and how well he does, how smart he is and what he can say and what he has achieved blah blah blah, so I just shut my mouth, closed my eyes and enjoyed my time away from my boy that it made me want to go home and play with him more!

Janine - posted on 01/05/2010

8

17

1

I hate that! my son's smaller than kids his age and that's always a topic of discussion. Who cares?! I believe also in letting kids be kids instead of super babies.I just want my kids to be good people.

Mariah - posted on 01/02/2010

2

5

0

Yes! my fiances aunt (in-law) is always comparing her relatives children to mine saying her 7 month old niece is so much smarter then my 15 month old and calling my child stupid. She keeps saying that her child will be smarter then mine when hes born..but idk its quite frustrating lol

Lilly - posted on 01/02/2010

23

79

1

My oldest (who is8) was 9.13lbs when he was born- he was HUGE, and continued to grow that way Then my 2nd was the same- 9.6lbs, and at 2yr old he is a stocky boy, which every person we meet seems to comment on. Lately he has refused to eat saying "no, I big" so it has become a concern for us. Our daughter (15months) is the opposite end of the scale and has yet to reach 20lbs. I know every child is different and it is easy to see that in our family, as we feed them all the same things, but is hard to be affected by what other people are telling you- that unsolicited advice that everyone wants to dole out. Just like when you were pregnant, people just feel like they are the experts on everything, and in order to prove something have to tell YOU what you are doing wrong, or what you should be doing. They all come out okay in the end- who cares what rate they are at, as long as they are healthy and happy.

Paula - posted on 12/29/2009

16

24

0

Oh I have this!. I got to the stage where I stopped going out or visiting particular friends as I felt my son was just being observed and constantly told that theres sings nursery rhymes walked early, now runs, etc... whilst k who is a happy baby is content in walking sometimes, crawling or just wanting to be cuddled by any one of us.JK is my third so been here three times now, and you know what each of my children are very different all learned at different times, so nothing phases me. But it is hard to switchoff. I think people really need to concerntrate on their own families, and leave happy families alone. Advice is welcommedbut only when asked for.Try to let it go over sounds like your doing a great job with your family.

Sunrise - posted on 12/29/2009

344

30

88

I can totally empathize!!! Kiera is a smaller toddler and takes after my family in her build. I get many people who compare her size to the size of their children like their children are the standard. HELLO people have you not heard that God makes people in all shapes and sizes! It's not just babies that people compare; I sometimes think when kids get older people compare more!



My older daughter has a smaller build as well (it's genetic). Several times a certain relative has felt the need to tell DD (who’s 8) she's to skinny, under fed, 'your mom doesn't feed you right' type of thing. DD has some self-esteem issues already and this really hurts her. The underlying message she gets from this person is "your not good enough". I wish this particular relative would realize this, grow up and keep their mouth shut. DH and I have had several talks with DD about why people feel the need to put others down, insecurity and jealousy being the top reasons. In this case both of them are very prevalent and obvious. But at 8 DD shouldn't have to deal with this.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms