Need recommedations for curving seperation anxiety!!!

Samantha - posted on 10/04/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My son never really went through the whole "seperation anxiety" phase until we found out we are expecting our second child. It is just aweful...I hat elistening to him cry when I drop him off at the sitters. What's even worse is sometimes he gets into these "mommy moods" and I can't even leave his side. I really want to help him get over this before the new baby arrives. Any suggestions?

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Chelseaszidik - posted on 10/05/2009

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Quoting Caryn:

Do you play games like peek-a-boo with him? A simple game like this will help, it shows him that even though he can't see you for a second you will come back into sight. This is a normal age for children to go through seperation anxiety as a lot of things are changing for them (i.e. learning to walk, no more bottles/bobbies, no more or much less baby food, ect). I agree with Chelsea's suggestion of making sure you have lots of 1-on-1 time with him, this will help quite a bit. As for leaving him with the sitter, a lot of times they just cry as you leave and quit soon after, talk to your sitter and see if this is the case, if so theres not a whole lot you can do about it, he will eventually learn that mommy will come back. If he's crying for a long period of time after you leave maybe you can take him earlier than you need too, spend some time playing with him then slowly sneak to the door. He may cry for a bit after you've gone but if the sitter can get him interested in his fave toy or snack he should be just fine.
Good luck to you :)


I agree with all of this advice except for sneaking out the door.  Developing a solid good-bye routine will let your child know what to expect and will help to relieve some of the tension of a good-bye.  If you sneak out your child will learn not to trust you and will always be looking to make sure you are there.  It may actually make the seperation anxiety worst.  As a preschool teacher I deal with the good-bye seperation anxiety all the time.  I highly recommend a quick and solid good-bye routine.  Something easy like hang up the diaper bag or put it on a chair.  Take off babies jacket.  Do a itsy-bitsy spider song or something else and then give a kiss and hand over baby.  Tell the babysitter you are going to do this so that she is ready to recieve at the appropriate time.



 



It's a great idea to develope a healthy relationship between baby and daycare in the beginning by coming early and spending some time so that the infant or toddler understands that you are comfortable in the space and they should also be.  After the initial transition period it's then of upmost importance to develope the good-bye routine.     

Caryn - posted on 10/05/2009

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Do you play games like peek-a-boo with him? A simple game like this will help, it shows him that even though he can't see you for a second you will come back into sight. This is a normal age for children to go through seperation anxiety as a lot of things are changing for them (i.e. learning to walk, no more bottles/bobbies, no more or much less baby food, ect). I agree with Chelsea's suggestion of making sure you have lots of 1-on-1 time with him, this will help quite a bit. As for leaving him with the sitter, a lot of times they just cry as you leave and quit soon after, talk to your sitter and see if this is the case, if so theres not a whole lot you can do about it, he will eventually learn that mommy will come back. If he's crying for a long period of time after you leave maybe you can take him earlier than you need too, spend some time playing with him then slowly sneak to the door. He may cry for a bit after you've gone but if the sitter can get him interested in his fave toy or snack he should be just fine.

Good luck to you :)

Chelseaszidik - posted on 10/04/2009

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I would suggest that you pick blocks of time throughout the day to spend with him giving him your undevided attention (10 or so minutes at a time). That should help a bit but for the times when he just wants you it is best to give him you. Show him that you can be trusted to stay close and he will gradually learn to trust you. If you have a lot to do I would suggest that you wear him. The best pack I have found that is made for this stage is the Ergo baby carrier. It would be a great investment for the new baby as well. It distributes the weight across the hips and puts no strain anywhere.

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