potty training!! whos having troubles????

Jennifer - posted on 06/12/2011

My son is terrified of pooping on the potty. He is totally potty trained, as in he doesn't really have accidents. He doesn't want to poop in the potty, and he knows pooping in his underwear is not an option, so he just doesn't go at all. We've been battling constipation for over a week now, and I don't know what to do. He's not eating much because his stomach hurts, so we've been adding a powder stool softener to his juice in the morning. His stomach will start to cramp, and he'll come tell us he needs to go, but when we take him to the potty, he starts to cry and tells us he doesn't need to go. I have no idea what to do. He HAS gone on the potty 4 times, and it's because I read to him to calm him down. It's totally a mental thing, because now he doesn't even want me to read a book. He just cries. I don't know what to do, either.
I wish I had some awesomely good advice, but I'm right there with you!

Rebekah - posted on 05/31/2011

My son had a hard time pooping in the potty, only he would hold it in, then wait for his underwear to be put back on, and go.

The first thing I did was conquer the "fear" of releasing the poop into the potty. I used the potty to show him that pooping doesn't hurt, then had him flush the poop down the potty and told him the "poop wants to go play with all it's poopy friends". Yes, sounds weird - but it worked to conquer the fear.

Once the fear was conquered, then I would read books to him while on the potty. If he pooped in his pants - I made him clean them up, by rinsing them out, taking them to washing machine and throwing them in. Then I would also make him sit in a time out. But I only did the time out if I knew he did it on purpose... not during the initial training.

After 2 time outs, my son sat on the potty and pooped - we had no issues.

Michelle - posted on 05/28/2011

Your son is now old enough to help clean his messes, so have him clean! When i was little, I used to "finger paint", if you catch my drift. My mother always cleaned it. Then my father said enough with that. Handed ME the bucket and the sponge. I never "finger painted" again. I was four, though. This will certainly work on your daughter, but it will take a few tries at least to sink into your son. But he has to start making the connections, and you have to stop being reactive. Just say "here, you clean." This is not the response he wants, but he'll learn it's the only response he'll get of he keeps doing it.

Amy - posted on 05/23/2011

We aer having trouble did good for a bit went a few times then had trouble with BM so she was scared of potty. Will keep trying wanted to have trained when she is 3.. we will see any rec'd are welcome! I am thinking of trying the no diaper for 3 or 4 days and see how that goes as then they can tell when they are wet, have heard good things on it.

Samantha - posted on 05/18/2011

thanks Cathy i will try that cause i put diapers on him at night and during the day he wear undies

Cathy - posted on 05/18/2011

My little on just turned 2 in April. She goes pee on the potty but also refuses to poop on the potty. She will only do it in her pull up/diaper. It is possible he might do it for attention especially if you freak when he does it because he knows it will get a rise out of you!! Someone told me to put her in underwear and let her make her accidents then explain that it goes in the potty not in her pants. After a few times (with their son) they said it worked. Still have yet to try it but am willing!! With your 4 year old. My oldest had the same problem shortly after I had my little one. We bought the over night things for her and started making her change her own sheets everytime she messed them. We saw a doctor and all they said was that it happens. After making he change her sheets etc. a few times....it eventually stopped. Its all tough but you just got to stick with it and make sure they understand you and your husband make the rules not them!!