Has anyone had to deal with alcoholism?

Ashley - posted on 11/05/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My husband is an alcoholic and he says he wants to quit. We have tried counseling and it didn't seem to work. I'm running out of ideas to help him. I love him with all of my heart.

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Jocelyn - posted on 11/11/2010

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He has to hit his rock bottom. That will give him the best chance at quitting.
I recommend that he get involved with AA and find a sponsor to help him.
I recommend to you to look into Al-Anon groups. They are great support.
Check with your local hospital/clinic. They should be able to provide you with a list of all available resources.
See if you can find a detox centre; it will help him when he is going through withdraws.

Amanda - posted on 11/09/2010

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Alcoholism is an extremely difficult struggle for the family as a whole. Alcoholism does not just go away, it's a daily struggle even after years of sobriety. It is wonderful that he is aware that he wants to stop and its even more wonderful that you are back by his side willing to help him. Perhaps you should look into Intensive Outpatient Therapy or maybe even an Inpatient Program to help you both during this difficult time. For you, I would suggest looking into Al-Anon groups to help support you and your needs during this time. I wish you luck on this hard journey and you and your family will be in my prayers.

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Rachael - posted on 01/18/2011

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Tell him to find and go to a inpatient treatment center in your area. There has to be some there where you live! Plus, try going to some AA meetings, either together or by himself. Plus there's also got to be some Alanon groups in your area as well that you can get help to if you feel you don't know how to deal with some of his behaviors! Hope this helped! There should be a 1-800# for you to find the right programs or groups in your area for this! Good luck! I was in a marriage like you are and I got out of it13 years ago. There's a lot more out there now for women and alcoholic spouses!

Ashley - posted on 11/15/2010

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Thank you for all of your advice. I know where to find the AA meetings in my area, but he will not go to them. He knows he has a problem and that is the first step, but he doesn't think he has a bad enough problem to have to go to AA meetings.

Jocelyn - posted on 11/12/2010

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You're right about AA Joy, it really is a hit or miss, but if it is a hit then if works wonderfully (worked fantastic for my mother and one of my ex's) I was involved in NA for a while, which was a miss for me. But you never know until you try. I did end up meeting some wonderful people at my NA meetings, but the program itself didn't work. It was a good starting place for me, and they do have good resources (at least in my area).

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No offense Jocelyn (love you to pieces but...), but AA is shit for some. I personally can't stand any and all AA related groups. They are all God based and they all brainwash their members. I know this from personal experience. My own personal experience over about a 20+ year period. I'm not saying AA is ALL bad, but if you recommend some to go there, make sure you make them understand that they give up all sense of self when they do.

The best and ONLY way for an alcoholic to recover is for the alcoholic him/herself to admit defeat and surrender. But nothing works at ALL until the user (said alcoholic) is truly ready. There isn't a light that comes on or a signal to let you know when that moment comes. It's not like all the sudden an alcoholic says "HOLY SHIT I NEED TO CHANGE MY WAYS!". Sometimes they do. Most times they don't. Love who you love with all your heart but don't lose yourself in it. Counselling is only going to work if the person seeking it really has an open mind and wants it to work. More important is that you take care of you and make sure that no matter what happens, you're ok to do what you need to do alone.

Ashley - posted on 11/05/2010

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I have left him twice because of that, and all it did was make him drink heavier. Since, I have been sticking by his side, he has been doing better, but on some days he drinks more then others. I don't know if it could be the stress at home or at work. We live with my mom, aunt, and grandmother, along with us and my two boys. My mom and my aunt drink too. I just wish there is something more I can do to help.

Kim - posted on 11/05/2010

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My Brother is an alcoholic. I'm sorry to say it took him many yrs and many, many times going to rehab to finally quit drinking. He was drinking for about 20 yrs. His first time to rehab he was like 24 and they told him he wasn't an alcohlic yet and didn't really help him well he soon became one. I'm not sure why this last time stuck. Maybe its because all the money he was borrowing for rehab dried up, maybe he wanted to be there more for his kids, I'm not sure but he has been sober now for 5 yrs. Maybe he needs you to leave him or tell him to leave (what my MIL did) before he takes it seriously and will quit. Even then its a day to day thing.

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