[deleted account] ( no moms have responded yet )
Hi, okay my husband is a loving father and works hard I'm not trying to bash him. I try to be as understanding as possible to him. We have been together 4 years. 2 1/2 years ago we had a daughter I was an emotional mess in that pregnancy a month after Dd1 was born I found out he was looking and responding to personal ads on craigslist he apologized but also mentioned it was almost impossible to talk to me and he was stressed. When DD1 was about a year and a half I started having panic attacks for about 5 months until I got pregnant March of 2013 this pregnancy was a lot better emotionally but a little harder physically, he's had lapses with the online ads but I kind of accepted that he just glanced and answered knowing a computer would respond. We had our second daughter 2 weeks ago and did it again but texting to their phone now, Idk what to do I feel devastated! I rebuilt my life with him after living 7 years with an abusive and violent man. He pushed me to trust him when we were dating made my oldest son love him, he's grown up with him. I don't want to question him about it...It's always the same answers (stress, he can't talk to me because I'm too emotional, it never goes past the messages, etc etc) He did this while I was pregnant in my most vulnerable state, it makes me question everything he has done for me. If he has done it just for himself his gratification, since his ex has his two other kids and didn't want to feel lonely. Every time we have this conversation I end up feeling like I should be a better wife that my emotions are overreacting! He sure makes me feel like I'm a nut and not in an offensive way but he tries to shrink my head with his advice. My gut tells me now he just tries to turn things on me or he really wants to believe what he does is harmless. I feel cheated, betrayed, humiliated and disappointed. I can't confront him because I know what his answers will be and I will end up frustrated and with anxiety attacks. I have been dealing with this and a newborn and a nine year old on my own because he has two jobs.