Sexting, Pics and Videos sent thru an iPhone. Is it cheating. What do I do?

Kathy - posted on 04/08/2012

yes that is cheating! good luck!

Donna - posted on 04/07/2012

I just don't know about these men. Far as I'm concerned they are not men at all. And they are not even dogs, dogs are to good for them.But anyway my idiot found a new hobby yeah (one of many) and he has been throwing himself into that hobby, sleep, breathes, and eats theses hobbies of his anything to keep from talking to me or having anything to do with me....unless we are in the bedroom....I have made some changes I changed jobs which i work part of the night now and I got alot more hours so basically I am throwing myself into my job. I have started putting money a side for just in case. I'm not putting up with this anymore I'm hoping to wait till my last child graduates from school which is 4 more years. You know I often say to myself if I had known then what I know now I would have never married. I just don't understand men at all. And if they can't handle you at your worst then they damn sure don't deserve you at your best. If he really loved you..your appearance shouldn't matter. I sit and wonder when he leaves out on the truck..Who is he talking to...or texting...I have been looking thru his phone I haven't found anything so far but when I do I will make up my mind then. I am hoping and praying that he puts an end to all this crap cause I really love him and I know he loves me but I ain't playing he games no more..

Aleda - posted on 04/04/2012

No, I don't think you're stupid at all! We've been married for almost 5 years now and we have an almost 5-year old. I also don't want to fight and argue about who gets the kids and yes, I love him. We've been in counseling since I found out about what he was doing and things are going a little better, but again, he's looking at random girls' facebook accounts. It just hurts and belittles me and everything he claims to want. I also wonder if he's not biding his time, waiting for our youngest to turn 18 so he won't have to pay any child support. I have brought this up to him before and he has denied it, but well he hasn't done much to inspire feelings of trust and goodwill, you know? I wonder why I'm with someone who let's their spouse's appearance bother them to the point that they are willing to throw it all away. I wonder how I could ever have been attracted to someone like that...a type of person I normally try to avoid. Love is love and I know we have that, but I'm finding out all these issue now 8 years into the relationship! What else will I find?!

Donna - posted on 03/21/2012

I know exactly how you are feeling Aleda. My husband does the porn watching too, alot of it he has it on his computer and his iphone and a box full of porn CD's inside of his truck. Since I had my two girls my sexuality has gone away my oldest child is now 21 years old and my youngest is 14. so I don't have much of it anymore and he throws that in my face. The only thing we fought about was sex and he would tell me (you don't love me) or (you don't want me) but turn right around and tell me he loved me and that I was his whole life but then run around again and tell me if I didn't give it to him he would find someone who would. And that hurts.But he loves ..right! Here where we live I can't get his phone records without a court order and then there's no guarantee that the judge would give me one. And yes when I confronted him with what I knew he to got very defensive and blamed me for everything. And he still denies everything and still says nothing happen and he says never will but he can't answer the one question I want an answer to...Why were you looking for FBW's (friends with benefits) I also asked him what would he do if it was me doing all things that he has been doing..He won't answer that question either.But thats ok because I answered it for him. I told him you would leave me in a heartbeat. wouldn't you he never answered me..I have put up with his behavior for 25 years and that's not all I have put up with. the day I came home from the hospital with our first child I caught him chasing the girl around a tree next door. the very next day he invited her over to our house to cut his hair will while she was standing to the side of him cutting the side of his hair he reached between her legs and wiggled his fingers and you know what he said to me will I didnt touch her...then years later one of my friends came over to help me paint my kitchen while we were doing that her zipper broke and of course he was there to help he was cuting the zipper ( he is down on his knees face to face with the zipper)he wouldn't let me or her do it ourselves but then he had the nerve with me standing there to stick out his tongue and wiggle it like he was will you know what he was doing.It disgusted me and I hit him in the head with the closes thing I could find which was the phone needless to say I broke the phone,she left and we had a huge fight knock down drag out fight.That's not counting the ex-girlfriends he had in high school always calling him.And there is more stories I could tell. I'm just sooo tired of this crap I'm just waiting for 4 more years then I'm outta here. I know you all probably think I'm stupid for staying as long as I have but I do love him always have and always will and I still have a kid at home and in stead of fighting for child support I stay and make him pay for everything. But anyway if these women on the other side could just see what they are doing to a family. I pray they never have to go thru the things that we have gone thru.

Aleda - posted on 03/21/2012

This is NOT okay! It is emotional cheating and leads to mistrust and accusations and defensiveness. I am so sick of people excusing this kind of behavior, writing it off as "flirting" or "natural." It IS'NT natural NOR is it flirting. It's hurtful, disrespectful and shows the extent of his fidelity and commitment to you. The very same thing happened to me. I had to scrape through his phone records and computer to find the extent of his betrayal and when I approached him about it (as if I didn't know about any of it) he denied it. Denied talking, denied texting, denied emailing, and denied swapping nude images. when I presented him with the evidence, he went chalk white and became EXTREMELY defensive, acting like it was my fault and that I had overstepped the bounds by investigating OUR shared property! We are in counseling, and I must say that things have gotten a little better, but I still have a lot of anger and hurt over this. I have seen him (today) looking at random girls' sites on Facebook and it hurts and scares me. He has also gone back to watching porn, which is a HUGE issue because the first year we were married, he would watch porn, masturbate, then ignore me. He chose some fake slut over a flesh and blood woman...seeing a pattern here? It's escalated and I'm afraid that the next time he gets the impulse, he'll actually sleep with someone. He says I should trust him and all this, but he broke our vows and all because I am overweight. I've lost 28 pounds now and am feeling good about myself, but now he's back to looking at these chicks who don't even have enough self-respect to cover themselves. It's so confusing and painful. He's disrespecting me, dishonoring me, AND our three children.

Donna - posted on 03/18/2012

I know how you feel. My husband is doing the same thing. He is a truck driver and he says he just wants someone to talk to.Yeah!! RIGHT!! I'm so sure of that.I have found messages from other women on his phone and his computer and confronted him about it of course he denied everything.I have also found web sites where he could go and chat/video with these women.On one web site called (truckersplayground) I found out he has been looking from FBW's (Friends With Benefits).Now I have been married to this Jackass for 25 years and still married to him for now..But whats gets me is with this same face he can tell me he loves me so much.... it just makes me want to punch him in the face....I can say one thing..He doesnt love me all he wants is the sex thats all he has ever wanted was sex I so sick of sex it makes me want to punk...But he loves me right...Well since this has happen which well be a year in may when I found out what he has been up to.nothing has changed even after he said it he would stop or I would be divorcing his ass and taking his precious truck with me and the house and the kids..ect.. I found on his phone again in his notes an email addy ( heather123@hotmail ) the last time he did anything with this was back in January... Does anyone know who Heather is???I keep telling my self to hang on I have only got 4 more years to go till my last kid is graduated and hopefully on her own. But if I keep finding shit like this I just might snap..BUT HE LOVES ME.....RIGHT!!!!!

Crazy - posted on 10/05/2011

I know it has been months since you posted this but I wanted to say yes it is cheating, It is not nothing and you should not just get over it. It is something you two need to work out together and well maybe if he is being resistant and not willing to work on it, it's time for you to find your happiness some where else? I just went through this with my boyfriend of 6 years and 2 kids. I am now single and learning how to live on my own again lol that is quite an adventure but if you need some one to talk to if you want I'm here