All Communities > siblings far apart in age > Embarrassed of baby sister

Embarrassed of baby sister

Krys - posted on 03/10/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

2

5

My seventeen y.o son would have friends sleep over our house every weekend. It wasn’t unusually for 3-5 boys to be over. It was almost like, “hey do these kids have homes?” After giving birth my daughter, he’s the one always sleeping out . I suspected it was because he was embarrassed. I even confronted him, and he denied it. A few weeks ago he finally admitted that he didn’t want his friends sleeping over, incase she started crying and woke them up. I tried telling him that, they are teenagers and I couldn’t get them up and out of the house prior to having the baby. The fact that she is upstairs shouldn’t make a difference. This is a new marriage, he and my husband get along great. My son and I were alone for a long time and grew almost too close, and I feel he tries to hide things from me as not to hurt my feelings. I was told that it is a scary thing for a single child male teen to grasp on to.. (Having a baby sibling), and eventually he would warm up, but my daughter is 16months old and my son still hardly acknowledges her. I’m starting to wonder if he and my daughter will ever have a relationship. Any suggestions on how to get him to warm up to his sister, or do I still need to wait?

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Randi - posted on 03/01/2010

1

21

Not to be a negative nancy, and I am only shooting out an opinion, but I have a brother who I would use to compare in this circumstance. My brother being nine months older than I am had never once held either of my children, when they were babies he truly had very little interest in what to do with them or why to even bother trying, as they aged that totally changed (around age two he had a Bit more interest). The Key here though is recently he had a daughter and you wouldn't believe the 180 that happened. I think that boys unlike girls do have a much harder time warming up to the idea of a small child in any case whether it be a sibling, a niece or nephew or other. I don't know too many seventeen year old boys that have any interest in anyone's baby so maybe the key is to not take it personally. It probably has very little to do with a lack of interest in his sibling so much as a lack of interest in "learning" babies. I am sure it will change as they both age and life circumstances make family the priority rather than friends. Teenagers are so selfish and not purposely either. I am sure you can remember what it felt like to think you knew everything and remember how important status and friendship was. It is only cause he knows his family will always be there that he feels an ease in showing a disregard. A catch twenty two none the less but with a silver lining! Hope that at least eases your mind to the fact that it is really normal and will probably pass in time. :)

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