19 single mom and livin at home....

Rebecca - posted on 04/03/2010

Dont worry bout what anyone else thinks. i am a 20yr old single mum living at home aswell, my son is 9 months in 2 days and i dont care what ppl think when they see me with a young baby i wouldnt change it for anything!! I left my babys father when i was 28 weeks pregnant and i dont regret it one bit, stupid me still let him apart of everythng when i was preg and let him in for the birth, it all then went wrong and i regret it he took me thru legal aid cause "i didnt give him access" which i did, he got the shits cause he wanted to have him overnight at 10days old and he was breastfeed, i said no so it went bad from there.. he hasnt seen my son since he was 2 months old but still fights me for him.. so if i was you dont worry bout her father not being there, she would be better off without him and a good thing is you get her ALL TO URSELF :) enjoy every minute of it he is missing out not you :) Good luck with your daughter

Tristaca - posted on 04/03/2010

WELL I GOT THOSE LOOKS TOO HUN. I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL WHEN I GOT PREGNANT WITH CORY AND HE IS NOW 11 AND I AM NOW 30. DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT THESE PEOPLE SAY. YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG FOR YOUR CHILD AND YOUR PARENTS ARE THERE FOR YOU 100% JUST LIKE MINES. DO THE THINGS YOU WHERE GOING TO DO LIKE GO TO SCHOOL EVEN THOUGH YOU HAD YOUR CHILD EARLY DON'T BE THIS STATISTIC STILL DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE FOR YOU ESPECIALL FOR YOUR CHILD. I WENT STRAIGHT TO COLLEGE AFTER MY SON AND NOW I HAVE A MASTER'S AT THE AGE OF 30 AND HE WAS MY MOTIVATION. DON'T LET THIS BE A BOULDER IN YOUR LIFE THIS IS YOUR JEWEL CONSIDER THIS SOMETHING THAT WILL HELP YOU GO EVEN FURTHER AND LOOK OVER THESE HATERS AND FOCUS ON YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTERS WELL BEING.

Brittany - posted on 04/03/2010

I don't let the looks get to me but I see them all the time. I am 19 and my son is 2 months old. I live with my dad and my sister. The father is around but he is mentally and emotionally abusing me. I am in the process of getting a permanent PFA against him. I told him I wasn't in love with me more so he is basically saying he can go around and do what he wants and stop in and see Landen (my son) whenever he feels like it. But if he can't have me no one will. And every relationship I've tried to have he has ruined for me. He hardly sees Landen and lost his job from calling off so he isn't financially contributing. But he is filing for joint custody, which he won't get. But he also called Children In Youth on me when there is no reason to. I wish I would have waited to get pregnant but I love my son with everything I have and wouldn't change having him for the world. And I would never do anything to harm him.

Jennifer - posted on 04/03/2010

No you are not the only person. I was married for three years to i though was a wonderful man. When my son was born he decide that he couldnt be married so he walk out of ours lifes and he hid for eight months before i found out were he was. Yes its really hard being single mom but you have to be strong for you both. The way i looked at it the situation is that if he was trully a father he would have stayed and been that father plus a husband, dont let people put you down be strong and you will do great
Jennifer

Deeney - posted on 04/02/2010

First off ignore the dirty looks and any unnecessary remarks. You dont have to answer to anyone but ur momma n god. I was 20 when i had my son so i kinda know how u feel being so young. Just stay focused on improving your life and raising your daughter. As long as you have a strong support system you should be good to go. As far as the baby daddy is concerned i havent been in that situation but i feel for you. I couldnt get rid of my sons father. He was there regardless if i wanted it or not. But sadly he passed away 3 years ago and i was left on my own to care for my son. It can be hard to raise any amount of children on your own but it all depends on how strong of a person you are and you seem like you have things under control. Best of luck to you and your baby.

Samantha - posted on 04/01/2010

i mean i don understand ppl like they don know us i mean i wouldn judge you why should they judge me... im just glad to kno im not alone i mean it feels like it but wen i think bout it im not the only person doin wat i doin n i guess i should just blow the, off cuz its my life i didnt plan this pregnacy but im glad i got preg cuz i love my daughter n thats all that matters

Amy - posted on 04/01/2010

hey, ur not alone. Im a single mum to a 18mth old and i just turned 19. I had a similar thing happen to me. When i told him he stayed around until i had her and once i got the baby bonus money. He left with it and i havent seen him since. There is no way ur a slut at all. Just made a mistake but no one is perfect.

Kimmy - posted on 04/01/2010

I am now 20 I was 19 when my son was born and he doesn't have a father and I still live at home. I have never really noticed any dirty looks and never heard stupid remarks about being a young single mother. I love my life the way it is and i know I am doing what is right for my son. If you like your life and love your daughter then don't let stupid remarks or dirty looks bother you people are stupid and they have no idea what your life is like.

Alicia - posted on 04/01/2010

I understand the young and single mom thing. I had my first at 17, my second at 18, and my third at 19. All with the same dad. He pretended to care for 4 years. Long enough to give me three kids, we got married when i was pregnant with the second and seperated when the third was 2 weeks. I got most of the "LOOKS" when i had my first one because of my age. I even got that from an er doctor when my oldest had to have surgery on his stomach. The doctor asked me if I even knew the difference between spit up and throw up!! I was so pissed!! After that doctor said that I told him I wanted my sons doctor and did not want him to help! I still get looks cuz now I am 27 and my oldest is 10. Anyways, since my ex and I split he has not been around or paid any kind of support. I learned to ignore people. Its hard but I don't care what people think anymore, I have taken care of my kids and I worked really hard to get where I am in life now. I am no longer single and now share a child with my man, and he treats my kids like his own. Dating is hard, and alot of men pretend to care. I never introduce new men into the lives of my children except as friends til I was sure I found the one who would stay and care for us.

Tovah - posted on 04/01/2010

I got it all the time. I moved back home with my parents when I found out I was pregnant. I looked much younger then 20, and for the remaining months of my pregnancy and a couple months after my son was born, people just stared at me. Like it was MY fault I was a single mum. I fought tooth and nail to try and keep him, but news of the baby was just too much for him to handle. But no, you aren't alone.

Just ignore everyone that says things like that and always remember that you got the best part of your ex.

Lacey - posted on 04/01/2010

Yep.. I feel the SAME. i'm going through a divorce and am 19 and back with my parents.. the looks I get when I go out with them and my son are terrible. People judge before they even know you or the circumstances you are in and it sucks. Don't let it get you down just be a good strong mom!!

Melody - posted on 04/01/2010

You are not alone in this. I was 30 when I had my daughter, like you I thought the dad was going to be around but after a while he decided not to be around. I have gotten looks and remarks from those who I least expect it. But I cannot let what people who do not me or my situation dictate my life. I love the fact that my daughter is here and it is just her and I. There are times when it gets hard being a sngle mom but I pray everyday for God to give me the strength to get through another day and He does. You keep on doing for you and your daughter and ignore what people say and do as long as you and your daughter are happy that is the only thing that matters. Be encouraged!!

Kedibone - posted on 04/01/2010

OH Samy u r definitely not alone. I honestly dnt know what's like being a teen mommy coz i had my daughter when i was 25 but i've seen teen moms struggle with ppl's judgemental looks n it aint nice at all! My advise to u is luv urself n ur child n dont give a squat abt what ppl say! Develop a think skin girl n be strong...raise ur child with pride

Sina - posted on 03/31/2010

Your not alone Samantha! I am 24yrs old and still a single mother since i was 18yrs.
It's hard to get those evil looks and have people talk behind ur back or to ur face, but u know what? They dont look after ur kid/s U do! So people can judge all they like but i'd like to see them walk a day in our shoes you know? I also have alot of pride, and i wont lie, it hurts to hear people talk but so long as ur baby is happy,healthy and safe thats all that matters!! :) Keep ur head up girl !

Jacquelyn - posted on 03/31/2010

i know how you feel about being a single young mom. i had my first child at 16 and my second child at age 19. people have their own opinions toward single mothers. ive been called everything from analcoholic to a whore but i just ignore what they say cuz only you and the closest people to you know really who you are and what your all about. dont feel bad about anything people say just as long as your a great mother and you traet you child the best you can. every mother is wonderful in their own ways.

Sophie - posted on 03/31/2010

trust me its everywhere im the same as u 19 single mum living at home i get looks all the time mainly for alot of older ppl u have alot more courage then i do i dnt go of at old ppl i have to much respect for then but wen it comes to ppl calling me a slut or something i cant help myself ppl cant judge wat they dnt no they no nother about me so they dnt have the right nor do they with yu u could be the perfect mum and treat ur girl the best and ppl still judge

Samantha - posted on 03/30/2010

well the thing is tehre is no drama her dad literally has had nothing never says anything or any of that to me or his daughter we haven seen talked looked or heard from each other since the day i told him so they wouldn have no problem wit drama i stay as faraway from that as i can its just finding a guy that is ready to be serious and not just a fling cuz i don want to date guy after guy and have guy after guy goin in and out of my daughters life i want a guy that will treat her like his own and won care if she calls him daddy you knw its hard to find that kinda guy thats ready to be serious

Tiffany - posted on 03/29/2010

What has hurt me the most is how two of my closest friends treat me now. They have both had kids of their own, after me, and are not single mothers. I do not get invited to their kid friendly outings, etc. I was recently not invited to a bday dinner either for one of them. It hurts to have them look down their noses at me.
There are plenty of great men out there that have no issues dating a woman with a child. They just do not want to put up with any drama that may be associated with it. I've been single pretty much from the beginning. My daughter is almost 2 and I still have not jumped on the dating wagon. I think you are more self conscience about the stares than what they really are. Most people just love looking at the babies! I'm not 19, but I look it sometimes and I always get carded for everything. When I am out with my child, my focus is on her. Over the last year my Dad has pointed out any time the 3 of us are together he gets some really odd looks. I never even noticed! I find it funny for people to cast judgment on something they don't even know. Be true to yourself and your child and screw what anyone else thinks! Find yourself again, gain that confidence!

Samantha - posted on 03/29/2010

yea i been wanting to date a new guy but i am so afraid that it will end up not working and i don want guy after guy comin in out of my daughters life i been wantin a serious relationship and a guy that will treat my daugther like his own but no guywants to date a single mom im so nervous to even meet a guy

Rachelle - posted on 03/29/2010

I was 19 when I had my daughter. I was with her father for the first year.. He has moved on and is attending college in a different state to get his phd. I am now 21 and my daughter is 2. Although, I am not single anymore I still receive the same looks and snarls from everyone. Mostly because I am a young mother, and with a man that is not the father. As long as you are happy and your baby is taken care of.. that's all that matters. I realized a long time ago that the only opinion that matters to me is the one that comes from my beautiful daughter. And as long as she is happy, then so am I.

Samantha - posted on 03/29/2010

exactly like my babys dad just up and left you know its not our faults i thought i loved the man he was a TOTALLY diffrent person until he heard the words im pregnat

Jena - posted on 03/29/2010

I'm in the same situation, 19 single and still living at home. Along with part time work and full time college. My son's father left after I continually refused to get an abortion, haven't heard from him since I was 16 weeks along. He gave me the same story about how he wasn't ready and it was all my fault if I chose to keep the baby. Haven't heard from him since last April. I get the same looks when I go out with son and the same comments, you're not alone, I know exactly what you mean. I just ignore them as hard as it is. My son is 6 months and I wouldn't change anything. :)

Samantha - posted on 03/29/2010

yea i know that it just annoyes me my daughters father aint said or done anything since june 2009 wen i told him i was pregnat he literally dissapered and ppl find that since i aint tried or bothered to find him that im this horrible person i have tried e-mailin and lookin for him but he hasnt even said or done anything wat so ever the last thing he said was get a abortion and just stop e-mailin me im not ready to be a dad and i don want to be... and thats the last thing ever from him... and ppl keep sayin its my fault and that im this horrible person cuz he left me .. cuz he didn want a daughter or anything

Joyce - posted on 03/29/2010

You are far from the only one who has to deal with the challenges of being a single parent. I am a single parent to three beautiful angels, with two different dads. Neither dad is really involved in the kids lives. I am in my thirties so I can't simpathize with the teenage single mom aspect though you are not the only teenage single mom in the world either.