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Addresses of ex's family

Beth - posted on 07/15/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

548

38

I've been having a sort out of some of my stuff and found that I had some of the ex's family's addresses (some of his siblings and an old address of his parents). Part of me says I should keep them, so that if my girls' wish to try to trace his family at a later time, they've got some extra information to work on, or destroy the paper the addresses are on. I know it's likely that some of the addresses have changed for some of the family members, but at least it would be a starting point.

Currently his family won't have any direct contact with my girls as my ex doesn't have any contact. His Dad (ex FIL) said that he wouldn't consider having any contact with my girls until my ex saw the girls at least once a month. That's unlikely to happen as the ex decided to stop the last lot of contact that he had with them, just over 2 years ago, because it wasn't going at the speed that he wanted. In the last 2 years only had a bit of contact with my ex myself - asking last year if he could meet up with the girls, said no as they hadn't heard off him for about 8 months, so he had to start writing letters again - pen and paper not electronically (which he wasn't too please about). Then again 2 weeks ago, when he barely asked about girls and basically if I'd attempted to contact him - deliberately/accidently - answer no.

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2 Comments

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Beth - posted on 07/15/2012

548

38

I'm in contact with some of his family over facebook, but it's unlikely that they would be willing to give me their current addresses. My eldest daughter knows which city most of her paternal family lives in. I asked my ex FIL if he wanted contact. Answer yes, but not willing till his son (my ex) has visiting rights at least once a month, as he would feel that it was wrong for him to have any contact until then.

Will keep the addresses, but securely until my girls ask about their paternal family. Even though, some of his family are 'friends' with me over fb, it's rare for any of them to ask after my girls.

The only thing that I hope is when my ex dies in the fullness of time (he's expected to the best of my knowledge to live a long life), that his family has the decency to inform me, so that I can notify my girls. A part of me, says that's unlikely.

My girls' don't have much interest in their Dad, and even less in his family. They haven't seen their paternal family in just over 7.5 years now. My eldest just about remembers her uncles and paternal grandparents, and that's it. She has no clear memory of her other family members. The younger two have no memories at all about their paternal family. Youngest doesn't even have any memories of her Dad either, where the eldest two have some memories.

Kristin - posted on 07/15/2012

619

0

I would keep the adresses just in case your girls want to try to find their fathers family. My real father left my mom when I was one and she was pregnant with my brother. He and his family also cut all ties with my brother and I and of course being a girl i always wondered about my real dad. I felt rejected by him so I hunted him down when I was 16 and i made my own decision based on what I seen. To this day and I am now 32 I have met and seen my sperm donor twice and none of his family i did try to maintain contact but he chose to not respond back, hes a deadbeat and so is his family but I had to meet him and make my own decision, and thats why I would keep the adress if I were you just so your girls can maybe find their fathers family and make their own conclusinons. You never know maybe they will regret not being there for them and will have a great friendship throughout their adult years.

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