Afraid of having relationships ...

User - posted on 03/24/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )

4

0

0

Ever since i had my baby.. i feel satisfied with life.. I'am thinking that i dont need any man in my life anymore because having my baby is more than enough to me.. I can say that i'am having a phobia with man ever since her dad left us (she is just 3 months in my womb) That is why i'am afraid to take chances,afraid that the same thing will happen to me, afraid to be rejected and left behind.. IDK why i feel like this..

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jennifer - posted on 03/24/2011

18

63

1

Your not alone with this one. My ex left my daughter and I when she was three and now she is five. He was very abusive and to tell you the true it frightens my to death thinking about getting back into another relationship. All we need is our kids in our life they are our life!! You will do fine

Kellie - posted on 03/26/2011

18

13

2

im a single mother, have been since that test came up positive and like you i am very happy the way my life is. just me and my son, i dont want to bring a man into his life while hes so young. reason being i dont want him to face the heart ache if it dosnt work out. im very happy to stay on my own until my son is older. your not alone in the way you feel i think most single mothers feel the same. when your ready to date then get out there but for now if your ot ready dont feel like there is something wrong with you for feeling this way. being a single mother and so is dating, so dont be hard on yourself...

Lindsay - posted on 03/25/2011

3

0

0

Hi,
I must say i feel the same way. I left my daughter's father because he just wasn't there emotionally for our daughter and sometimes just plain not htere. Now that i'm on my own i love it and i often think about getting into a relationship but to be quite honest i don't think i could ever do it again. I refuse to have another man in my life or hers to only neglect us and expect me to be the mother & father to our child. Its hard being a single mom but would i sacrafice my daughters smile and happiness for a guy? Never. At this point in my life a man is not worth my time or attention.
But i only speak for myself. I definately don't look down on anyone that wants to be in a relationship its just not for me at this point.

Kori - posted on 03/24/2011

20

10

9

It is okay to feel this way. I am right there with you along with alot of other moms, Im sure. When people question me about relationships or dating. I just tell them I am not that damn lonely ; )

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

10 Comments

View replies by

Jackie - posted on 03/29/2011

31

64

4

It is understandable for you to be "gun shy". To a degree, I think we all are. You don't "need" a man to make life complete. I was widowed 11 yrs ago and have not remarried yet. In part because I am set in my ways and don't want another person telling me what to do and tell me how to raise my kids. I have finally come to the point in my life that I realize that I don't need a man, but it is nice to have someone to share my life with. I have come to terms with being single and dating, It is nice to have another adult to share life with. It is something that you and only you that can determine what it right for you. In time, I believe that you will be able to put yourself out there . Once your heart and soul is healed. I wish you the best and enjoy your time with your baby, they really do grow up way too fast. My prayers are with you.

Sherry - posted on 03/29/2011

117

2

30

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship. I have not seen the sperm donor since I was 7 months pregnant, so I have been alone since 2004. I did go on a couple of dates when my daughter was 3 months old. But I realized that was a wrong decision for me, so I decided that I would not pursue that relationship. I am perfectly happy spending all of my time with my 6 1/2 year old. She wants me around right now, so I plan on being there every minute possible. Perhaps when she moves out on her own one day, I will feel the need to be with somebody again. But until then, I don't want to miss a minute of time with her.

Denise - posted on 03/27/2011

5

6

1

You can't let the fear of history repeating itself be the deciding factor in your decision making. If you feel that you don't need a man right now because of how much your daughter fulfills you then focus on that for as long as it works for you, and if you meet someone you feel is special, take your time in getting to know him to make sure he is worthy of being in your and your daughter's lives.

User - posted on 03/25/2011

4

0

0

yes i'am satisfied with my baby..i do not regret giving birth to her.. it just that sometimes i feel sorry for her because i cant give her a father.. i will just do my best to give her needs and love her with all my heart.. beside me is my family who are very supportive.. btw, thanks TIffany i just realized that i'am just jealous with a happy family i see anywhere.. imagining that i have it to.. sometimes.. but i had to accept the fact that im a single mom..and nothing can change it.. so im trying to be contented with it and loving it..and seeing my baby smile it is more than enough..

Crystal - posted on 03/25/2011

61

8

1

It's ok to be scared. It doesn't mean that something is wrong with you for not wanting to be in a new relationship right away. I feel sometimes we jump into relationships too fast and don't allow ourselves time to heal. This is what is happening - you're giving yourself time to heal. Do what is best for you and follow your own heart, you and only you will know when the right man comes along.
In love & light,
Crystal | www.whydidichoosehim.com

Tiffany - posted on 03/24/2011

46

9

9

It seems like you're saying two different things here. Are you truly satisfied with your life as it is, or are you wanting something else but afraid to go after it? There's nothing wrong with being content with where you are in life. Raising and supporting a child alone takes a lot of time and energy--physical and emotional--and has its own rewards. If the time isn't right to throw something else into the mix and change what's working for you, what's wrong with that?

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms