Am I wrong?

Erika - posted on 06/02/2010

YES! I feel the same way as you. I think men have it so much easier and think they have it so hard. I cant sleep hardly, my twins cry at separate times, I hate that when one is sleeping the other is awake (all the time this happens). Some times I feel like I am a loser and that I shouldnt be a mom. Then my daughter will kick my back or my son will give me the biggest smile when I walk in his daycare. The good days will def out weigh the bad ones. Your mental health issues has nothing to do with the feelings you are having. They are normal.

Charlena - posted on 05/27/2010

Its perfectly normal to feel this way from time to time , especially when you are a single mom , I know this might sound diffucult but just think of ways to make your day go easier , as a single mom you have to be on a very strict schedule just to stay sane . As long as your not having any thoughts of hurting you or your daughter and if so its okay to ask for professional help .

LeAnn - posted on 05/16/2010

I remember feeling completely helpless and hopeless when my daughter was around that age also. Two-year olds are alot of work! I always thought that taking care of an infant was the hardest until my daughter got to this age - haha. You will get through it though - and even have some fun along the way.



As already posted, your mental health is very important and I hope you are seeking the help you need to keep yourself healthy. It is draining taking care of yourself and a little one - everyone needs help - make sure you get it! You will not believe how much better things will start to seem.



I completely understand the never get a break feeling also. Really try to find something you enjoy doing and make sure you spend some time each week doing it. This one is hard to do though - I still have people telling me to do this. I had a lot of trouble with it at first because I couldn't find anything to do with people at work because we work different hours. I need to plan ahead for a babysitter, but they don't so I never get to go anyway. It just seemed like more hassle than it was worth. Then I found something I love doing that I can do right at home, and my daughter can be here at the same time. I love to sing. I used to go out to kareoke all the time (yeah it might sound lame but I love it hahaha). I found a kareoke website and I started singing on there as much as I could. I could even get on there when my daughter was sleeping. After kids fall asleep for the night it seems like nothing wakes them up once they get to this age - which is great! It just gives me time to forget about everything for awhile and enjoying singing.



Now I look back on some of that time and regret that I wasted alot of the time I could have been paying a little more attention to her because I took so long to get the help I needed for my feelings of resentment toward her father who was not going through any of the stuff I was going through.

Margaret - posted on 05/16/2010

If you truly have mental health issues, you should get help for that first. Perhaps that's why you are feeling the way that you are.

I remember when my daughter was born. She was just a few weeks old. One day she was just crying and I remember lying in bed almost hating her intrusion into my life. She wouldn't stop crying and my feelings were getting more and more inappropriate. I was by myself and scared. I was also extremely hormonal and was possibly in post partum depression. When I felt like my feelings were going to cross the line, I called my pediatrician and told her what was happening. She helped get me through that scarey time. I had guilt feelings just for feeling that way for many months after that. I was able to cope though.

The two keys were: I called someone for help and I stopped focusing on my "poor me" attitude and remembered that my baby was the helpless one. She never asked to be brought into this world. I had a choice. She didn't.

Everyone needs a break. Go to google and type in moms in (then fill in the name of your city) to see what support groups there are in your area. Better yet, type in Christian moms in your city. You need a support group as a single mom. Even a few hours once or twice a week will help you refocus and refresh you. Don't try to do it by yourself. You really can't and you shouldn't have to.

You are definitely not alone in feeling this way, but you do have control over what attitude you will have each day. First thing in the AM - GOD PLEASE BE WITH ME EACH SECOND OF TODAY. I DON'T THINK I CAN BEAR THIS BURDEN ANY LONGER. HELP ME. Find some groups asap or find a good church where they have a support group for single moms. You DO need a break. You are not imagining that for sure. You will grow to love your child and it will get easier. You are going through a hard stage with a 2 yr old. Just look at your child as a little miracle and watch everything she does with wonder. Get someone to be your phone support when you feel out of control. Pick it up and call someone and talk. Do that today so you have it when you need it.

You will be a wonderful mom.

Catherine - posted on 05/16/2010

You said the same things I think too. The mental health stuff isn't 'beside the point' because its partly why you think and feel this way. Its worse for me now that my little man has been assessed as being 6-9mths behind in talking-which I blame myself for (of course) and I get angry and frustrated.
But then he gives me that look or a cuddle and kiss and all that other stuff disappears.
But please make sure you are actively seeking help for the mental health stuff. Believe me it helps!

Jennifer - posted on 05/15/2010

There are many times I have felt like a less then deserving mother expecially when having to go back to work when he was 5 weeks old, during the all nighters when he just wont stop screaming. Just think to yourself this miracle was given to you for a reason and there is no one who loves me more then my son. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me and in that big toothless grin! That is honestly what keeps me going some days. It is so hard sometimes and I think there are alot of us who know how you are feeling. Plus all the hormonesdont help!

Carla - posted on 05/15/2010

Yes, I have felt this way. But it was and has been during times of depression, because of hormones or too much going on in my life. In other words it was something to do with me, not my daughter, whose now 8. I left my husband for cheating and many other issues, and yet I depend on him for financial help, which he gives and lets me pay him back when I can. But it;s stressful. Plus I went back to college recently, fulltime and I work too. The stress the last 2 semesters has been almost unbearable. The good thing is I have friends that I can lean on, and some family too. My church has been a great support as well. You have to take care of yourself, and somehow find a way to get some alone time. Do something for yourself at least once a week. I love to read, listen to music, journal and spend some time on my computer. Going for a walk, or a swim when it gets warmer, whatever works for you. Also, I have a sister that became a single parent against her will so to speak, unplanned that is. She said so many negative things about being a single parent over the years that one day her son had heard enough and walked out. He does not have any way of taking care of himself, and has no car either, for he graduated already. They have a troubled relationship, and I know I don't want that for me and my daughter. So, I do what I need to do to keep things from getting too stressful. If you love your child you have to take care of yourself. I will say a prayer for you! Just don't give up, your child needs you!