Anger with the ex

Yvette - posted on 03/04/2017 ( 3 moms have responded )

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After my son was born, his father basically turned his back to me. There were tons of issues with mistrust and deceit. When I needed him most he wasn't there. He's a very nasty person with an enormous temper and is verbally abusive. It's been 4 months that we've been separated and I'm still so emotional, ANGRY, and sad. I know there's light at the end of the tunnel but this is really difficult. My son turns 1 tomorrow and I dread seeing him and his family at the party I'm throwing. I know it's about my son and not me or him or our differences. The hurt surfaces again when I see him....I wish it would go away. Can anyone suggest coping mechanisms?

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Jk - posted on 03/09/2017

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Good job mom for still inviting dad to the party! That shows a lot of humility and integrity. That is a great start for showing your family how important they are to you. Our hurts and troubles are times when our character grows, that we may someday help others who might be going through similar circumstances.

When I was growing up my parents had divorced. The one thing the both decided to do for my sisters and me, was to be friends. Even though they did not get along real well, they can talk. They would usually visit more in family gatherings such as birthday parties or holiday dinners. that was one of the best things they could have done for us kids at the time. All these years later they still do not get along very well, but will still talk to each other during family events.

One thing I have learned being married, I learned that I can not change the circumstance, but I can change myself if I really want to. If I want the situation to change then I start by changing my attitude. Keep your thoughts positive! You are off to a great start!

Nadine - posted on 03/08/2017

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And yet, you still asked them to the party. Good job, Mom! I would suggest that you just do as you are already , it seems, and focus on giving him the best life with two parents who love him enough to put their differences aside. Keep it positive, surround yourself with people who love and care about you, and rise above the drama. Your son is lucky he has such a strong mom who loves him so much.

Jk - posted on 03/06/2017

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How old is your son?
It is hard to face life on your your own, especially when you have kids. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Maybe you have some family or friends who can help you out and give you support. Maybe you can find a local single moms support group where you live, that you can get involved in. Or maybe you can start a play day event with your child and invite other moms who might need some help and they can come and bring their kids over to play and you can visit with the other moms.
Sometimes we just need to move forward and find a new direction to go. I know that is a very difficult thing to do. Just take one step at a time! Keep hoping, keep a positive attitude, and looking for open doors to move forward.

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