Any Advice what I, as a single mother, should say about the father of my child when people ask me?

Cosima - posted on 04/14/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am single mother, in my late teens, and I got pregnant as a result of rape... but very few people actually know that.
My problem is, that every time someone asks about the father (which happens a lot!) I get reallly embarassed and I don't know what to say!
I really don't feel like stating the blunt truth but neither do I want to answer in a way that makes me look bad (another irresponsible teen! etc)
So what can I say that perhaps hints at the truth without saying it too clearly?
Anyone else has the same prob?

Thank you!

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Sandy - posted on 05/05/2012

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Unless it is a close family relative or friend, I don't think you need to tell anybody anything. It's a very personal question and if you don't feel like answering it, I would say just that, I don't feel comfortable answering that question right now. Or you could say it was a very painful time in my life and I choose not to talk about it. or the old standby, we both wanted different things and it just didn't work out...

Iysha - posted on 04/30/2012

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"Its a super drawn out story about why my childs father and I are not together and I just really dont want to talk about it." works for me most of the time.

On dates, I say that my daughter's father is not in our lives and that I would prefer to give details on the subject when I feel comfortable talking about it with them.

I've noticed that when dating people ask more questions about the person who fathered the child or his relationship with the mother and/or child.

[deleted account]

I've had a few people ask me if my girls' Dad is in their lives (I was married to their Dad). I just say that my ex doesn't play an active part in their lives, then move the conversation along. Sometimes I get some people that will ask a few more questions or get the 'I'm sorry' routine. I no longer let the questions get me down.



Maybe you could come up with a few answers for yourself. Something along the lines of 'the Dad of my child doesn't play an active part in my child's life. What did you think about x that was on TV last night?' You could also say something along the lines of that you do not wish to talk about your child's Dad, especially when your child is in listening distance.



You don't have to justify why you were pregnant as a teenager or why 'Dad' is (or isn't) in your child's life.

Kimberly - posted on 04/14/2012

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Wow that would really be putting you on the spot and makes it a bi hard. You could say that he's around but currently not taking an active role in your lives, thats he's chosen his own enjoyment over his childs, or there are just some cases where you should tell them the truth point blank and watch them feel really bad and auckward for presisting in there asking. People really need to mind there own business and just because they have a question doesnt mean it is always right to ask it. Good luck with it all

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