Any Suggestions About Father of Unborn child and Family?

Abbyytumlin90 - posted on 06/19/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My due date is just five days away and I still don't know what to do. The father and I broke up when I was eight weeks pregnant. During my whole pregnancy, I have not heard from one person in his entire family besides his mom. I have only heard from his mom five times at the most. I have met his Aunt, Uncle, two couins, and grandparents one time in my life at dinner. When I am in the hospital, the father informed me that they want to be at the hospital. This is supposed to be a very special moment for me in my life and I honestly don't want his family that I have only met one time in my life coming to talk to me at that time. I feel like it will ruin the moment and stress me out. Any suggestions?

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Anna - posted on 06/23/2012

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I'm in the exact same situation and I'm due Monday with a little girl. I'm only letting her dad come to the hospital and then I'm going to invite his family over a little while after I get home. It's not wrong or selfish its whats best for your child and you. Your going to be stressed and exhausted and its not a place for strangers to be. Don't let them make feel as if you should let them be there. As long as you let them have a relationship with your child your doing everything you should.

Faye - posted on 06/22/2012

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The hospitals around here (KS) now do not take the newborn to the nursery unless their temp drops to far and they need the warming light, which just happened to my grandbaby in Dec. Most of the time babies stay with mom unless she requests that the baby be taken to the nursery for a bit.

Abbyytumlin90 - posted on 06/21/2012

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Thank you ladies!! I really appreciate all of your answers and I am going to go with my heart and stick up for myself. Since they were not there my whole pregnancy, I do not feel comfortable with them being there when I deliver. I do want the father of my child to meet his son after he is born and if his family wants to come and see him, I do not mind them looking through the nursery but I honestly don't feel like talking to them after birth is the right time. Thanks again!

Michelle - posted on 06/21/2012

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If you don't want them there, don't have them there. This is you & your baby's moment. If anything they can visit him later when it works for you!

Catherine - posted on 06/20/2012

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I agree, it's your choice. Even if you were together, you should have a choice. I was with the father and his family wanted to be there bad. They disregarded my wishes wanting to see me in labour(and made comments and 'jokes' about how long I was taking), and even stood outside the delivery room door(telling me they could hear grunting so they knew it would be soon!!) Make it clear to the nurses(like the others said) who is the only people allowed in the room. Don't tell them you're in the hospital until you're home so they don't unexpectedly show up,and if you have another support system then they should be with you in the delivery and postdelivery rooms. This is your baby and if you don't stand firm now, it's harder to stand up later. Go with your gut. Plus your the one going through this, so everyone else needsto support you. Good luck, and let us know how it went! :)

Brittany - posted on 06/20/2012

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Yeah, i agree with the above poster - if you don't want them to meet baby in the hospital - that is 100% your choice. Just becasue they want to - doesn't mean it's appropriate - tell them you will have a 'meet and greet' party (almost like a baby shower but with baby) once your home and settled.

Tell the nurses and such you want to be made aware before anyone comes to your room - then you can decide if you want them in or not.

Good luck on your delievery and congrats on your new baby!

Kristin - posted on 06/20/2012

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It is completely up to you as to whether or not you want him or his family members with you while you are in labor, If you are not comfortable with them, then tell them that they can see the baby after he or she is born. Generally the hospital only allows one person in the delivery room with you and will not allow anyone else in unless you want them there. If they still want to be there then just dont tell them when you go into labor

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