any suggestions on how to deal with being a single parent. it is starting to ge really hard!

Dana - posted on 02/13/2010 ( 44 moms have responded )

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single mom here trying to deal with a three year old and trying to find a good guy to be in our life. any suggestins on how to deal with this?

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Maryanne - posted on 02/17/2010

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I was a single Mom for 15 yrs. It is hard and exhausting. Filled with doubts and sometimes frightening. But one thing held me in good standing. I stopped looking for that "good guy". I concentrated on being the best Mom I could be because I knew that in the end it would be how my son felt about me that was most important. I know you get lonely, I know there are times when you want to just share a good conversation. But when those thoughts popped into my mind, usually after my son was in bed and I had a few minutes to think, I would think of what would happen 20 yrs from now if I failed at this, the most important job I would ever have. Somehow that brought me back.

I had no high school diploma, but I knew my son was going to college. I stressed it, I pushed it . I knew coming from a single parent home, he could be judged more harshly than someone else. Fair? Hell no. But true. I prepared him for that.

Today, almost 40 yrs later. My son runs our multi-million dollar family owned business.We opened it 10 yrs ago, because I said I was to old and he said "How old will you be if you don't do it" I am the president,my sisters the other owners and officers. We have 40 employess. When people ask me the secret of our success, I tell them " I gave birth to it" .We are happy, loving and filled with respect for each other. Every once in a while I take a ride thru the apartment complex we lived in. Trust me not a very good one. But our home was filled with love and warmth. I thank God I made the decisions I did. Not always easy but definately worth it. Oh and by the way. When my son was 15 I went to a funeral and met the most wonderful man. He had a 7 yr old. We put these two families together and have never looked back. We will all celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary in Aug. We are one family and they are brothers in every sense of the word. All I want you to know is it can happen. Don't look for what will make you happy right now, think to the future, long term.

Oh and by the way, that Diploma from Kean University hangs on the wall in my office. The day he got it was the proudest day of my life.

Maryanne - posted on 02/24/2010

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You are so right. While all of you are still tending to children, mine are grown.However, that being said. I remember like it was yesterday the fears and the lonely times. I remember seeing "whole families" doing things together. I could not make some people understand that John and I were a "family". It was important to me that we eat breakfast everyday at the table in the dining room and have dinner there every evening. That was where we could talk and share our day. Was I tired, cranky,irritable sometimes? You bet I was. But evidently less than I remember because he has good memories and we laugh often about the past. You will get your heart broken,for sure. Just try with all of your might not to let their little hearts get affected. What Claissa said is so true, these little loves will be with you for a long time. Make sure they always know they are more important than any dates, parties or anything else because trust me they have long memories also.

Claissa - posted on 02/23/2010

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I am the single mom of an 8 yr old and I enjoy being single. While I hope that one day God will send the right guy the HE plans for me to have I am not searching. I love being a single mom because I get one on one quality time with my daughter which is hard when you are in a relationship. Go out with a few friends have fun, take a road trip with your child. Remember they are only young once and they will be with you for a long time while relationships that are not true will come and go and leave small parts of your heart broken.

Ginger - posted on 02/20/2010

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You are all very wise women. I have been a single mom for 14 years; my children are now 15 and 18. I have dated some very good men but discovered having common values are the key ingredient. It drives every decision you will make; where to live, vacation, work, how you raise your children, where you go to church, if you volunteer in the community. Don't settle; because children do what you do not what you say. Decide what lifestyle you want for you and your child and go create it. By doing this you will attract someone who has created a similar life and you will resonate with each other. 20 years goes very quickly and you don't get a second chance to raise your child. Focus on what is important and the rest will work out.

Rebecca - posted on 02/20/2010

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Don't rush trying to find someone. I think that was the best thing that I did. I didn't date or introduce anyone to my son for a long time. I think it was good because then I could concentrate on him and me, and wasn't allowing him to get attached to men, then not have it work out. Now that he 7, and I've waited to invite him to my boyfriend, he will know that my boyfriend is special part of my life, not just mom bringing another guy home, and he has no feelings but fondness for my boyfriend. Its really hard, and all you can do is listen to ur mind and ur heart. When they are in sync then you'll know its a guy worth keeping....rush it and who knows what your child will think later. They have their whole life ahead of dating ahead, don't settle just to have someone and change their whole perspective forever.

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Julie - posted on 02/23/2010

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hi Dana,all i can say is go with the flow.spend quality time with yr child but remember to have quality time for yrself!! iv been a single mum most of my 14yr old daughters life,youve got to be happy in yr life with everything around u b4 u move forward into a relationship.always remember to keep yr relationship separate from yr childs life till yr absolutely sure, then yr not messing yr childs head up.even as young as he or she is! take care &good luck :)

[deleted account]

Dana, I apologize for not reading your post. Stop looking and pray. It is very hard to find someone to accept you and love you. No one is going to love your daughter the way you do. Nowadays it is hard to find someone you can trust. If you look and look you may be disappointed. Let God bring you the one He has for you and your child. I know this is difficult, but trust God for the right answer and wait. Focus on yourself and your daughter until then. Be blessed.

[deleted account]

I think you need to find a support group. What I mean by that is a family member or best friend that will help you from time to time. You have to make time for yourself. It not easy. You are constantly on call 24/7 without the usual backup. If you are having a hard time dealing make sure you tell someone you trust. Children know when we are stressed out and react on how we feel and sometimes act even if we try to hide it. I hope a little of this info helps. God bless.

Laura - posted on 02/22/2010

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STOP TRYING TO FIND THE GUY, FOCUS ON HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH UR CHILD, JOIN A PARENT AND TODDLER GROUP THERE IS LOADS OF SUPPORT AROUND NOW AND IF YOU DO ALL THAT BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE A GOOD MAN WILL COME YOUR WAY, IT DOES GET LONELY JUS TRY AND STAY POSITIVE, PARENTLINE PLUS HAD LINKS THAT HAVE SOCIAL INCLUSION INFO XX

Lisa - posted on 02/22/2010

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Karina has it right... It's not about finding a man. It's about taking care of yourself and your child. Get that right and make it be your top priority and everything else will fall into place.

Kafi - posted on 02/20/2010

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Hi Dana, I am the single parent of three and at times it gets lonely, but never let that get you down. It's hard I know but just remember that things get better with time. I prayed for a decent guy and got the bottom of the barrel often. I just recently found a guy that loves me and m children. It takes time but with prayer and patience it will happen for you.

Margaretha - posted on 02/20/2010

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its hard being a single parent. im one of 2 teen boys but you know, i thank God for giving me the strength to step up and take care of my kids the way a good mother is supposed to and i get praised everytime for being the woman i am today for raising my sons alone. just have patience and have fun with your child. cherish the moments you do have with them everyday.

Timisha - posted on 02/20/2010

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It is hard now and their will always be trying times. I am a parent of an 18 yo, 13yo, and a 1yo. Finding a good can be a very hard task! But you really have to sit down and think about what you really want for yourself and your child. And don't settle for the first man that seems willing to fill that void. Being that your child is and will always be the most important part of your life, build on her. Eventhough it is hard, make sure that she knows that you love her everyday, and that you will kill brick over her. Your relationship with her and the confidence that she has in that will make all the difference. And just one more thing you are not looking for just a husband, you need a father (AND THEY ARE VERY DIFFERENT THINGS)!!!!!!!!

Sara - posted on 02/19/2010

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I know this may not be the popular answer but I think if you let time do its job that man meant for you will find you and your son. I know its rough, I'm there but just enough this time... every bit of it. The good bad and the ugly. It will give you so much more appreciation for that man when he comes your way.

DAWN - posted on 02/19/2010

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Ii was there and I did all the wrong things... but I learned fast.
1. Never get so desparate that you settle. Look for a man that would make a good father and has a steady job and steady responsibilities. Try going to church or to the park or little league - there are some great guys hanging around these areas - Dont do what I did and meet someone at a bar and end up pregnant with a 2nd child - Yes, I did that - I was young and dumb and ...yes, desparate.
2. Think of each day as a perfect chance to make a memory for your child - What do you want them to remember about you? I know that without support times get hard - one thing I know I will always remember and my son will remember too is one day when I was about 7 or 8mths pregnantwith his sister and had been outside waiting at the bus stop for my son in the sun, sweating my bum off i took him to the apt. pool and we just jumped in (I was careful). We had all our clothes on and we just cooled off and had fun together just me and him then we walked all the way home soaking wet and laughing.He thought i was way cool. Get out your pots and pans and make a band with her, finger paint, go to the park. Just know that when you are down she feels it and she is down - so by making her happy and keeping her mind off how you are feeling you can actually get your mind off of how you are feeling too and have fun.
3. Try to look on the bright side of life. In my experience most (not all) guys are pretty much just like children (just bigger). I know you get lonely but think of the perks.. you dont have to please another person and you dont have to cook, or clean up after another person and your baby doesn't care if you are having a bad hair day.
4.Never rely on a man to take care of you - make sure that thngs are in your name and you know what is paid and when it is paid - my ex told me he was paying my credit card bill and insurance on my car - i blindly trusted him and when i got into a wreck i found out the hard way that i was stupid - when we split up he bounced over $700 on our shared checking account and i had to pay that off or go to jail... Lesson learned quickly.
5. If you want others around you to think you are beautiful you must feel it first - try to be happy and thankful for the things you do have and stop looking so hard - Guys can smell desparate and a lack of confidence from a mile away and they will use it to their advantage. Try to smell happy and secure and like...I like you but I dont really "need" you.. they wont know what hit'em.lol.
6. I dont know what your religion is.. but pray - it helps. Put good things out into the universe and good things will come back to you.
Finally - Know that you are doing a great job and one day your daughter will know it too - If you know in your heart that at the end of the day you have done all you could do to make it a good day and there was nothing else that you could have done, then one day you can look her in the eyes and tell her all about it knowing that she will respect you and love you for it.
Try thinking that if your daughter was grown and she came to you asking you this same question.. what would YOU tell her?
Unfortunatly, we all have to learn by experience so if you mess up a little don't get yourself down just know it was a lesson learned fast.

Angela - posted on 02/19/2010

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I wouldn't worry too much about having a guy in your life. It is really nice when it happens, and when it's meant to happen it will. Having one in your life can add the complications of when to let him meet your child, and if things don't work out, how it will affect your kid if they have gotten attached.

*on a little side note to the person who said not to go with guys you meet at the bar..... they aren't that bad, I had a pretty great relationship with one I met at the bar. We were together for almost a year. (I know not all are interested in anything more that that night, but you can't count them all out completely, there are a few good ones in there)

Jesseka - posted on 02/19/2010

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well first thing is to just breath! I've been a single mom for almost ten years. I would say it gets easier but uuummm I'd be lying. But it does get better and ya'll learn exactly what you can accomplish in life and you will be o k there will always be someone there to help you.

Tiffany - posted on 02/19/2010

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i've been a single mom since my son has been born...no help nothing. yes it is stressful at times. but trying your hardest alone can make u into a stronger person! i've learned a lot about myself the last 3 years and i am stronger then before. :)
u can do it!!!!!! :) don't just think you need a man in your life to make it complete..ive been without one since my sons dad left 3 1/2 yrs ago or what not. the day i found i was preggo was the last day i saw him and havent seen him since. so im doing it alone and you don't need a man who is going to way you down. be happy with your baby. in the long run everything will work out!!!!!!!!!

Unathi - posted on 02/19/2010

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Hi Dana, i'm a single Mom to a 3yr old, you are so right it sure is tough being a single parent, but you need to give yourself a break once in a while, a day out with very good friends can do wonders and things might not seem so bad after wards, Kids in General i have found are tiring as much as we Love them to bits and would not change them for the world, We too need a Breather, Me time is very important, after i had my daughter i lost 3dress sizes because everything was so hard, but it gets easier with time just like anything it can only get better. Take care of yourself and remember ME time

Monet - posted on 02/19/2010

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well my son is 10 months and ima a single mom and wen i feel like its 2 much i put him in his crib and take a walk 2 the bathroom and breath .... u have to because it becomes over welming .... good luck and i wish u all the best ...p.s dont look 4 a good guy set ur standards and just have fun ....he will come 2 u

Josie - posted on 02/19/2010

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I will so agree with Karina, its hard being a single mom. The main thing is getting yourself right. Make sure you are completely ready in your own before dating, The right man will come along when its your time. Just enjoy being single and your child and knowing that you got your life together. You should try to involve yourself in like a churh or play group in your area. Hope this helps and keep your head up. It does get better!

Lorraine - posted on 02/19/2010

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I have been a single mom since 2006. I left my daughter's father because we didn't love each other anymore and I couldn't bear to live him with him. It took me awhile to get back in the dating scene. But when I did I used online dating because I couldn't go "bar hopping" (so to speak). I felt i could get a better read on someone online and I wouldn't need a babysitter. In the past 3 years I have dated 3 guys. All very nice guys but 2 of them had no children and didn't want to share my attention. My current boyfriend is a single father and has 2 teenage girls so he knows how to handle kids (especially my 5 yr old) and how to handle being in a relationship with someone with a child. It has been 3 1/2 months now and life is good. We enjoy spending time with all the kids and we feel like a family.

I met him on the website: www.plentyoffish.com. It is a free dating site.

Hope this helps.

Pamela - posted on 02/18/2010

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I have 3kids an have been a single mom since my oldest was bout 6mos old.I am a very independant strong headed woman.I have a 14,12,3.I Live for my babies.It gets hard at times but i just try harder at wht I do.I do have a boyfriend an couldnt have askd for a better man.My kids love him to death.It was almost a yr b4 my kids actually met him.I didnt want no promises made to them nor did I want them to get attachd.I am funy bout tht always have.Promises i dnt like even as an adult.But just keep ur head up remember wht u live for.Keepin u an urs in my thoufghts an prayers.Take care.....

Laura - posted on 02/18/2010

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I have 5 children and my husband passed away almost 3 years ago. Things never get any easier, but you become more acustom to handling it all. You are the mom, the dad, the money, the nanny, the house keeper, the maintance man, you were all the hats wether they fit or not. My best advise is, take a deep breath, tell yourself that it will all be alright and take a little time for yourself once in awhile, even if it is just to take a long bath or a trip to the grocery store all by yourself. Remember, if you aren't ok, they won't be either. Keep your chin up, stay calm and God will be with you through it all

Becky - posted on 02/18/2010

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I don't know where you live, but aI work for Head Start if you are low income they provide free preschool. This is an excellent place to find resources in your community afor extra support in parenting your child, getting medical help and about anything you can think of. Most of the ladies I work with are single, low income Moms who are working on degrees.

Candace - posted on 02/18/2010

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I had mine son sense july 3 1999 and i have been raising him ever sense i just take one day at a time and enjoy those moments with your child cherish thoses days get down to your childs level and read to your child introduce your child to different kind of learning toys.take walks with your child take the child to the park. and know it gets easier by the minutue. now my son is 10 years old and iam going to school now for culinary arts while my son is in school to show my self i can do something and my son sees at the same time school is important he is doing great in school and his grades are sky rocketing i am so proud of my son and he will go some where in life and so will his mom.

Angela - posted on 02/18/2010

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Hi. I am a single mom of 4 kids and one with heart issues. I just let them be kids. I have tried to spend time alone with each one. I have days that are hard but it will be worth it. Just sit back and hold on. I pray a lot and work a lot but it makes me feel good knowing that I am doing this.You can do it just love your kid and stay strong!

Kimberly - posted on 02/18/2010

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lots and lots of praying is how i get through each day i have three sons and i have always been the only one they can count on and i could not do it with out gods help my oldest is 16 this month so it has been a long road always remember to babys need more love when they are acting up and you can make it on your own

Maryanne - posted on 02/18/2010

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When it gets tough and believe me it is the hardest job you will ever have. I hope you will have a memory like this. John was having a difficult time with another child, they were both about 7-8 at the time. This child would threaten John with "My Daddy". Well one day it had to be handled and I did, that night when I was tucking him in he looked at me and said "You sure do know how to make a guy feel better,Mom." Even today,55 yrs later that memory can make a bad day GREAT. Take your time, no one is perfect, we all make mistakes. But with love and honesty, no matter how I screwed up, somehow, this child came up loving me. As it will be for all of you.

Hayley - posted on 02/18/2010

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lots of wonderful advice here will add a few little bits.

it doesn't matter if the house is a mess sometimes - i don't mean not stepford wife standard i mean covered in toys and piles of laundry. sometimes we just don't have the energy and the energy we do have is better used on managing to not snap at the children, to read them a story etc. who cares if the house slides for a few days - just don't let anyone in! in the same vein who cares if you and the kids don't get dressed and have a lazy day once in a while? i think what i'm trying to say is that this is a very tiring job sometimes and some things have to slide sometimes - keeping your temper/sanity and your relationship with your child open are a lot more important than a lot of the other stuff we think 'should' be in check but really don't matter that much.

family - i think for many of us in this situation family can be both a help and a hindrance. we need them and yet for a lot of us our own relationships with our families aren't ideal and can be pretty stressful yet as a single mum we feel trapped into being in a lot of contact with them and taking help no matter how many strings are attached. when they are becoming more stressful than helpful BACK OFF! this may not apply to you but i think trying to keep some confidence and self esteem is so vital as a single mum and if people are eroding this we need to get some distance from them even if it's family that we think we are dependent upon for babysitting etc. i guess this is a danger with relationships too - if you are in a position where you are scared to be alone or really feel you 'need' someone you can be in danger of letting in people who are not good for you.

my son is about to turn three and i've raised him alone from the start. it is hard work, it is tiring and it's lonely sometimes. you are doing an amazing job and 3 years is a long time at it. i'm guessing your child is potty trained and eating well - if it is at all financially possible i'd recommend a holiday!

tones of good advice above for you to follow - only thing that jarred me was the use of the word 'should' - beware of that word!

Maryanne - posted on 02/18/2010

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I do have one word of advice. When a relationship ends, no matter who asks for it to be over. Do not forget the heart of the little one involved. They often internalize, wonder. Even if they didn't have a real friendship with the person their feelings need to be addressed. And it needs to be stressed over and over that everything will be alright. Mommy may be hurt or upset but it is her problem and she will work thru it. They need to see you be strong and carry on.

Dana - posted on 02/17/2010

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those all actually really help!!! i got to keep telling myself i can do this and actually just booted a jerk out the door!! thanks to all these comments it does help to hear im not the only one going through this which i know im not.

Sarah - posted on 02/17/2010

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hi it is a nightmare i have an amazing guy now but it has taken me years and a few total jerks along the way, it takes a while but i used to love being a single mum just me and my boy quality time, i got lonely but i did what i wanted whenever i wanted, dont look for any guy someone will come along when its the right time enjoy the time you have be selfish you have you little one to yourself, you will find a good guy i did but make sure they know your routine and thier boundaries how far they can go telling your kids whats what. listen to your kids too but dont let them dictate to you either its hard work but you will get there i have been with my man for over a year now we engaged now good luck hunni all the best xxx

Maryanne - posted on 02/17/2010

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Dear Daire, Thank you for your kind words. I don't know about being an inspiration but I do want all of you young women to know it can be done. With hard work and prayer and a sense of humor it can be done.Your list of five is wonderful. You are are to be praised. Now let me tell you. Hit the funeral parlors,that is where I met George. I tell all of my friends to get themselves a basic black dress,a good pair of hose and nice black heels . You never know who you will meet. Take care, Me

Rachael - posted on 02/17/2010

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I am a single mom of a 10yr old and 1yr old and let me tell you it's not easy but it can be done! lol..I have found that you will find someone when you are least expecting it. How you tried a mommy's day out program? It's a great way for you to get a break and at the same time it gives your little one time to interact with kids. It also helps talking to other moms and getting things off your chest like you are doing on here. I hope this helps! good luck!

Dara - posted on 02/17/2010

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maryanne, you are an inspiration to us all. I think we really need more positive stories like this to hold on to.
I am a single mum of a ten year old (from birth).
The number one thing that helped me was 'never dicipline in anger' Never, if you can help it ( I know no one's perfect) Go in the other room, walk away, whatever. I tell you what, it's really hard to hit a kid if you are not angry. Develop a habit of "calm first, then deal with it".
Number Two: Hold your good friends close, You'll be lonely in the evenings and need people to talk to on the phone! Be there for each other.
Number Three: Make sure you have other mum friends, to talk about parenting with, a couple of older ones for mentors, 'been there, and wore the t shirt' there might be support groups in your area, or mother and toddler groups.
Number 4: If he's meant to find you he will. U dont NEED him, but it would be nice.
Number 5: If at all possible maintain family links, they'll be there when u call and say 'i just need u to take them for an hour, i'm losing my mind here' And they're a lot cheaper than a babysitter!

thats my tuppence worth.. good luck!

Angela - posted on 02/16/2010

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First you have to be happy with who you are as an individual, and now that you are a Mom you should be embracing Motherhood and enjoying these precious years with your little one. You shouldn't look at raising your child alone as trying, but as a golden opportunity to mold and guide her to adulthood under your loving tutelage. So until you are comfortable and proud to be a Single Mom to your little darling you cannot add another person to the equation, because your doubts and fears will be with you all the way and you might end up worse off than you think you are now. Of course I don't see that you are in a bad way, you just have to love yourself and your little one, more so now you feeling so overwhelm. Or you can lean upon your family or friends, like us here @ COM, when you need to vent. I am a SM of a 19 yr. old and a 6 yr. old, both boys and with different Sperm Donors! One thing I have always shown my boys is that I love them enough ! and so does God and because of that we have a strong family foundation.

Kimberly - posted on 02/15/2010

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It is hard you just have to take one day at a time, don't look for love if it is ment to be it will find you. As for the baby! Hold him/her close and give them lots of love, they grow up fast.

[deleted account]

Of course it's hard.. anything worthwhile is hard. As a single mother of three for the past 6 years I've learned to take things one day at a time. I love my independence and I find that this has made me a better person. Raising three kids taking full time taking university courses and working full time is sometimes mind boggling but in the end it will be worth it. I don't think I'd change a thing about my life. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.. I truly believe this. Not to mention the pride your children will have in you. My kids are no longer babies.. My 19 year old is in her second year majoring in psych.. my 16 year old is looking at pursuing a degree in law and my 13 year old boy is very respectful of women. They see how hard I've worked and I think this is a lesson that has helped them grow and be independent too. Chin up Dana things will get easier.

Laura - posted on 02/15/2010

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i'm a single mom of a four year old and a 19 month old. i discovered early in all my bad dating a few things that helped. one, i never let anyone meet my kids, not until i was sure they were going to be around for awhile (i'm finally dating a guy now who i have let meet them), but also children are amazing judges of character. if they seem to have a problem with a guy, look hard at the relationship, your kids may see and feel things you don't. finally, make sure that the guy is understanding. being a single mom means a lot of things are different. you can't just do spur of the moment stuff normally, trips and activies take planning. also he needs to understand that you can't spend all your time sending the kids to babysitters and such. these are all things you should talk about with the guy before he ever meets your child. make sure he knows it's a package deal, and depending on the situation with your child's father, his presense in your and your child's life may end up being a sorta of fill-in father figure. he needs to be prepared and accepting of that. i think the best words i ever heard from someone was, "i can't help but love her like she is my own".

Dana - posted on 02/14/2010

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thanks all that posted so far and karina i can not find that song for anything lol

Karina - posted on 02/14/2010

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Hi! I so understand how you feel. I have been single mum with my 3 kids for two and a half years now, i keep hoping that one day my prince in shining armour is going come and sweep me off my feet and make it all better. Wouldn't that be nice lol But I have learnt that it simply isnt going to happen unless I get me right first. And be strong and happy and content in who I am, so one day I when I meet someone I can truthfully make the right decision and know that im not settling again for the wrong person. I so dont want to be here again alone and broken hearted so I'm determined to get it right this time!!! But still have a ways to go but am getting there.



I wish I could send you a song it has become my singles athem lol its awesome!! Its called "better off alone" by Stephanie Smith. Its start off singing about meeting and spending time with guys that you know arent what you really want but you choose not to see the bad stuff and eventually you get hurt or come to your senses! lol



I so love this bit of the lyrics..."I should of known better cos it only feels worse each time, so I better surrender the search, cos I know until someone finds me and inspires me to do better I'm better off alone. ( the best bit!!!) But when the right one comes how will i tell, that its not just some disguise...But i'll see a stronger version of myself reflected in his eyes, and looking back now I can say, that ive never been quite sure, about that love that i told myself was real and each invitation that i settled for. I should of known better cos it only feels worse each time, so I better surrender the search cos i know until someone finds me and inspires me to do better...I'm better off alone"



So hope this helps it so hard being on your own, find strength is those around you and in your precous child, they are the ones that keep you going!! Plus there is always us!! lol I have gained so much from other mums who know eactly how I feel! Wishing you all the luck and happiness in the world, Karina x

Candice - posted on 02/13/2010

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I am a single mom and I also work in a daycare. Sometimes if you just sit back and let them just explore and run wild. They will learn something and so will you. It gets really hard on me the more I try and discipline her. But sometimes it will be a lot easier on us all if we remeber they are still children.

Amanda - posted on 02/13/2010

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It is really hard. My daughter is 3 and I have been dating a guy who has a 4 yr old fulltime. We sent ground rules right away, like no spanking each other's kids. You also have to listen to your kid. My daughter is happy here and likes my boyfriend and his daughter, if she didn't I would have to move on. And don't go looking in a bar either you will not find one there. Ask friends to set you up stuff like that. Let me know how it goes.

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