anyone else have no family to offer their child?

Christina - posted on 04/03/2011

Friends become family. One of my best friends has no family, nor does she want to be involved with them. The father of her child has never been in the picture. She moved here, and now her circle of friends has become the family. They stay over, her daughter knows we are "family" and that everyone who cares about them, and wants to be in their lives, loves them like family. I guess the best way to describe how we are is: bloodlines aren't love-lines. Just the two of you is great. For us, people come and people go, and that is the flavor of life - there are times when it can feel isolating, but overall loving yourself, her and your health, safety and time together is something some kids actually don't get. My girlfriend works full time, her daughter is in aftercare until 5:30 or 6, and things have been that way for a while. She does do something I thought was amazing (would be hard for me, I think) they get up at 5:30 in the morning so they have two hours together in the morning before work and school. They "hang out" with no pressure, get ready and enjoy books, talks and breakfast before the world gets going. I thought that was incredible. Her daughter now goes to bed at 7:30 so they can do this, and the mother says she likes it because then she has "me time" from 7:30 until 10. Finding a friend you really feel good around, who has kids, can help. If you can't find that (not as easy as it sounds, I know) then sometimes alternative or progressive Churches are good. There are two here, I don't go on Sundays, am not a member, but have met great women through their life groups and things like that. We connect with some of the families at school, not tons, but enough. If she has "all that money can buy" and loves people, a wild idea would see if there is a charity she would like to head with you. Have you heard of Ryanswell.org? Sometimes something to do that REALLY makes you feel good is better than a huge circle of people to play with. Just an idea. For us, we do a lot of art projects at home, we set up the table, the kids give it away as gifts, send it to people, showcase art in cheap frames around the house. Having a purpose sometimes helps around here, when you don't have a "playmate". I think even adults feel that way, purposeful and creative can fill a lot of hours : ) I think you'll be wonderfully fine, I really do.

Caina - posted on 04/03/2011

I have a 5 yr old daughter and no family either. I know how it feels. It's very difficult at times. I have a very select group of friends that we have made our family. This past yr for Christmas we went to a friend's house and spent the holiday with her and her family. On the holidays when thats not possible I try to do something extra special with her.We have been trying out different things so we can figure out what works best for us as our tradition. Don't feel guilty. You did what was the best for you and your daughter.