Anyone here from MIssouri?! Question about Abandonment Laws!!!

Erica - posted on 02/19/2012

Yes, I believe after so many years, you can petition a judge and have the other parents' rights revoked if you can prove that there has been absolutely no contact from that other parent. I think it is approximately 3 years, depending on what state you live in.

And I believe the term is called "abandonment".

I live in Canada and I'm not sure how many years need to pass by before that can be done here.

Boy, I wish I had taken the route of abandonment for my son, who is now 9.

His biological father had nothing to do with him for about 6 1/2 years up until about a year and a half ago. I naievely allowed him to have access to our son, before realizing that he had not changed or grown up one bit from the many years that he hadn't made any contact.

So, I stopped allowing him to see our son, due to that reason. I had two different doctors advise me that it was not in my son's best interest to have anymore contact with his father unless it was supervised, due to things that his father was saying to our son about me, as well as the fact that his father smokes marijauna while our son is in his care.

Prior to his father wanting any contact, he had never paid child support and I even had my son's last name legally changed to my last name, years ago.

Just last fall, his father served me court papers as he is now wanting access. He is in the process of getting exactly the access he wants through the family court system.

However, I believe I could have had his rights revoked way back when he hadn't made contact for all those years. Now it's too late.

I hired a lawyer and it will cost me about 9 grand by the time this court case is done.

My lawyer and I wanted him to do hair follicle tests and to only have supervised access, both of which were denied by the courts.

He is pretty much the worst case scenario of anyone that you would ever want your child to grow up to be like.

He has never done anything with his life, barely holds down a job, owes me close to 10 grand that doesn't have anything to do with child support and has never paid child support anyway.

He is a habitual marijauna user, drinks often, lies like he breathes, was nothing but pychologically and verbally abusive to me during the short time that we went out and during which time I conceived our son. He is arrogant and very dangerously manipulative.

Since this deadbeat reared his ugly head from the gutter, I have been just beside myself.

For so many years, it was just me and my son, just the two of us.

Then, fortunately, I met an amazing guy with whom I am engaged to, we have a nice house and an 8 month old daughter together.

My fiance has been such an amazingly wonderful rold model and father figure to my son.

And now his real father is poking around and will gain the access that he wants.

I have no control over this now. The family courts do.

In my opinion, go with your gut feeling....if the father of your child is causing trouble and has basically shown no interest in his child, let the time go by....don't contact him and hopefully he won't contact you...and then yes, think about going to a judge and having his rights revoked on abandonment.

I wish I could do it all again.

Good luck. :)