Jessica - posted on 03/20/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )
I've come to find that I have a hard time trusting people. Anyone. Not just males but people in general. Mostly males though. I have a legitimate explanation as to why I am this way but it seems to be effecting my every day life more than I would hope. When I was younger I was sexually assaulted by my step dad, he was in a position of trust and authority to me mainly because my mom had lung cancer and was on a lot of medications. Needless to say, I never liked him, but I put my trust in him to protect me and my family (I was 14 years old). My mom trusted him as well, to this day I don't know if she believed me. She passed away two weeks after this happened. Now I have a beautiful baby girl, her father and I separated about a year ago and I've been dating someone for some time now. He is my babysitter as well, since I am a single mom working part time with no real family support or friends. He is in college and works from home. I am 19 and he is 21. The thing that scares me the most is that I always have a nagging feeling that he is going to hurt her physically, emotionally, or sexually because of what happened to me in the past. Don't get me wrong, I have no reason not to trust him and my family all believes that he would never hurt my daughter. There is just something in me that makes me fearful of the people who are in her life. I'm going to get her a physical examination just to put my mind at ease once again. I'm just wondering if anyone else is extremely unable to trust others like me and if you know the reason why.