as a single mum, what do you do for you time?
Sally - posted on 03/27/2010
i'm quite lucky really my kids go to there dad's ever other weekend and they spend half the hoilday with me and half with him. Hate it when there not with me but i know they need time with him as well so i try and keep myself busy spend time with family & friends or just clean my house right through anything to keep me from missing them to much and just breaking down. every time they go it like half my hearts gone with them.
Yasmin - posted on 03/26/2010
going crazy.. there is no free time ... and when it is its not that Im just single but I new on the area so have no friends.... Im start to hate living in florida... missing my life in Va .... nee to meet people !!! some help please !!!
Zandi - posted on 03/24/2010
after she's in bed btwn 830-9p if i have energy ill watch music videos and maybe have a drink if i have the energy left.
once every few weeks (about every 6 weeks--2months or so) i have my sister in law watch her for a few hours in the night and i go out with my friends
i usually drag her along with me whenever im doing other stuff eg shopping etc, though. dont have much help.
Aisling - posted on 03/23/2010
Oh I found it so hard to find something to do with my time, I was I have to say completely lost, But slowly but surely Ive started to meet up with friends, go to cinema, Or even just relax in ur pjs in front of the tv.. just some good old ME time :)
Janice - posted on 03/23/2010
I don't get really get any Mum time. But recently my oldest, she's 19, took my three year old over night to a friends. It was so quiet it was freaky. I sat and watch television shows that I don't get to watch when the little ones are around. Then I sat and missed the noise. Once I went to the movies and seen avatar. I think back to what I did before kids and I realize, I wasn't having as much fun as I do now. Most of my friends thought I was the wild one. I don't know, I still do what I want, I just take my entourage with me.
LISA - posted on 03/22/2010
I wake up at 5am!!!!!
My Sons are 16 and 8 and they don't ever see their Dad (HIS choice), so I really don't get any time to myself and the way my life works, is that the only time I can have REAL peace is when they're sleeping, but by the time they go to bed, I'm WIPED OUT, so my only alternative is to wake up extra early, for my own PEACE TIME, a nice cup o' joe and to maybe read the paper or check my e-mail.
Leah - posted on 03/22/2010
I know i personally dont get a lot of me time, but when i do get some quiet time(after the kid is sleeping) i may take a warm relax or take time to do something i enjoy for an hour. I to dont get to go out that often. In the 6 1/2 months my child has been here i've been out with my friend a total of 3 times.
Jeannette - posted on 03/22/2010
in morning after my son wakes up and has eating and cuddled with me i leave him with my mom and go to the local ymca and work out for an hour 5 days a week that way i can have a little me time and grandma can have a little isaiah and grandma time
Kristina - posted on 03/21/2010
Free time, dont know what that is lol. I have my kids all week long, I only get sundays off for like a few hrs. I usually go and do errands, clean my apt, watch a movie, or sleep. I find it very hard to date or have girls night. I just have accepted the fact that this is my life. I am a full time mom, my kids are my main priority. If I have to put my life on hold for my kids then that is what I will do. I will put my dreams on hold so I can make their dreams come true. I do not have a lot of people offering to watch my kids so I can go out. When I do have people offering to watch my kids they usually complain or give me a time for when I need to be back to get my kids. So since I do not have free time I try and do a lot of stuff with my kids... I am a MOM!!!!!!
Maree - posted on 03/21/2010
I have been a single mum for many years my children now 16 and 18. when they were very small I made sure we had a good routine and bed at an hour that suited me not them. I took this time in the evenings to just chill out and watch a movie or read a good book in silence. this meant that when the girls were at a sleepover somewhere I was more chilled and able to use the time to go out and enjoy adult life away from the home.
I did find the easiest way to enjoy the time more was to make sure that I didn't see single parenthood as a chore but as a privilage. I always made sure not to get harrassed by the feelings of being alone. But to enjoy every minute I had with my girls no matter the circumstances. Just enjoy being a parent and you will enjoy being an adult when you get the chance.
Danielle - posted on 03/21/2010
I play volleyball, read a book, or hang with friends. Depending on the age of your child, you might be able to get more "me time" at home or even away from home if you're of the mind to do so. Churches & YMCA have parents night out events monthly. I know the YMCA has an on-site care facility you can use while working out. They often have a sliding scale depending on your income. Also, if you have any friends who have kids, see if you can swap babysitting time with them weekly to give yourself more time to enjoy.
Michelle - posted on 03/20/2010
my next door neighbor has a 17 year old daughter. i sometimes use her for a sitter for a few hours. it gives me a chance to go on a date, or spend time with girlfriends that i really need to vent to. this way, i get my sanity back, and she gets a few extra bucks in her pocket. But i've known my neighbors for almost a year and we always talk, so they are not such strangers. try that. it may help.
Marketta - posted on 03/20/2010
My daughter is 2 1/2 months and I HATE her not being with me. She has stayed one night without me at her god parent's but thats only because I had to work 24 hours. But as soon as I got off duty, I drove my sleepy butt straight there to get her. She has stayed with her Auntie for a few hours one day - and again I spent those few hours at work and then immediately whent to get her. All my friends and her relatives always ask to keep her but I'm really not ready. All the friends I hang out with know I;m bringing her when I come, And plus I'm deploying in about 6 months so I will have to leave her for a year. So I am taking advantage of every second I get with her! And I love it this way :)
Brandi - posted on 03/19/2010
I have been a single mom. I was w/ them 24/7 for many many yrs. They are 16,8,and 7. When I moved to the state I am now and w/ my fiance. The 1st time his mom to my girls for a night honestly I was lost. Had no clue what to do. If they were ok if they were missing me as bad as I was missing them. But then I got use to it. A lot of times I do nothing at all but sit and enjoy the quietness. Then there times I'll do deep cleaning, take a well need long nap. And some times I'll make a date night w/ my fiance.
I have a 5 1/2 and 6 1/2 year olds. I've made it a routine since they were babies to have a set bedtime, this allows me time to myself or to get house work done that I don't want extra help with as well as it provides suffecient sleep for them. Other then that they are with me. I'm lucky my parents live 5 blocks away however they still work full time so they are tired and don't always have the energy to take the girls so I don't make it a habit to leave the girls with them except when i have meetings that the girls can not attend. HOWEVER, I have finally learned that I have to make a dates with my friends, family, and myself and stick to them. I have started planning ahead around special occasions like birthdays, holidays, and so forth.
I also make sure to find time when my dad will let my mom and I go out on our own, my mom will let my dad and I go out on our own, and I find a friend to watch the girls so I can hang out with my parents on my own. It is nice to have the adult time with my parents and be able to show them I appreciate them.
Natalie - posted on 03/17/2010
my girl is 3.5 yrs and is with me all the time except thursdays she is in care. my parents take her for a few hours every now and then plus an occasional sleep over, being an older parent that means my parents are older too so they have alittle trouble keeping up with her.
Rachel - posted on 03/17/2010
I get my free time once my little girl has gone to bed, which is 7pm every night!!! she's nearly 2 and has had a routine since she was born, she's in the bath at 6, then we have a few books after, then i bed by 7.
I can count on one hand the amount of time's she has either stayed over at her nanna's or aunties since she was born, (even tho they do offer). And on the odd occasion her dad will take her out for a few hr's.....even tho he actually see's her on a regular basis.....but her prefers to spend the time at my home.......which doesn't give me a break at all!!!!!!
Beth - posted on 03/17/2010
It usually seems like I waste my free time and I don't do anything special. Lol, I usually spend too much of it on the computer or I will read a book. And then after my time is up I start wondering why I didn't do something a little more adventurous or fun while I had the chance!
But, to find time for myself when the kids are home: I try to wake up before they do so I have time to grab a cup of coffee and a cigerette (bad vice I know) play on the computer for a few and take a nice long shower to get me going.
I don't know how old your children are but mine are 8, 4, & 2 (3 in May) but now that it's starting to warm up a bit outside I let them go out and play in the front yard where I can see them for a while by themselves and I use that time to do whatever I need to do or just chill for a few. I live in the country though..it may not be possible to do that where you live.
Finally, I have become a big fan in the last few months of routine bed time. I start winding them down around 7:30 and hope they are asleep by 9:00 sometimes it takes a bit longer though (especially since they all 3 share a king size bed..the 2 year old likes to keep everyone else awake) but by doing this it gives me some time for myself to unwind before I go to bed.
Hope some of this helps and I would love to hear other people's advice about this topic also!
Amanda - posted on 03/17/2010
i dont really get a whole lotta free time either especially now that i moved to arizona and the only family i have out here is my sister and she has 2 kids of her own. when i lived at home where all my family is i always had free time i felt like i had too much free time if that makes ne sense. everybody wanted my little girl so i was like i guess take the help while i have it and now its like i have learned to live with it i kinda chose this path so i take it day by day its frustrating sometimes but now my life is hers right now.
Meghan - posted on 03/16/2010
I get pretty much the same amount of free time. To be honest I have no idea what to do when I don't have my son...so I don't do anything! I'll take an extra long shower, watch a whole moive (without having to pause it) go for a walk at my own pace/speed, go for coffee with a g/f. Just enjoy! :)
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