At My Wits End

Jacqui - posted on 08/08/2010

i am going to ask a question that may sound out of sorts. Has anybody else had contact with him in the past week or so at night - other than yourself??



If so, who. Babysitter maybe? Asking as they may have done or said something that has scared him or worse....touched where they should not have.



Sorry to have to bring this up but if you can rule that out then it's a huge thing and anything else can be easily sorted with love and patience and yes a bit of tough love.



It is just something this sudden and extreme is always following an incident of some sort and as he is so young he may not have the words to describe how he is feeling or what is scaring him. Try asking him questions that he has to say yes or no to turn it into a game, you may get a bit closer to the reason.



My son has such a routine, that now he gets ready by himself (in the sense that he goes upstairs to get his pants and bed clothes ready for his shower after eating.

Good luck

Kate - posted on 08/05/2010

that is quite possible, and sorry i saw after that you had already answered the routine question....Good luck and stay strong, this too shall pass!!!

Karly - posted on 08/05/2010

yes kate he does have a routine and has had one for ages he normaly has a nap but he is fighting me with that at the moment too but i just got a new bed for him so i will see how he goes with that im hoping it was just the fact that he didnt like his old bed lol

Kate - posted on 08/04/2010

Ok these will probably seem like dumb questions, but i too went through this with my son at about the same age he even used to go as far as holding his breath till he passed out to try and get attention....

Do you have a set bedtime routine? Bath, story, bed at the same time everynight? This is VERY important at this age. Bedtime must be at the same time each night and should follow a basic routine to help him settle down.

Does he nap? Some children at 3 do still require an afternoon nap or quiet time for at least 30 mins to two hours....being overtired can make them fight sleep and cause outbursts. but If he does take naps already maybe try cutting down on the length of his nap or taking it out of your routine all together...

I found that once I got him on a routine and stuck to it the tantrums passed, in the meantime I went along with the routine of bath story bed and left the room, never to return again. The first nights consisted of me sitting outside his door in tears listening to him freak out for over an hour but i did not give in and after a few days he gave up. At first he would fall asleep behind the door even but he was still asleep.

If you dont feel you can provide that "tough" love then try finishing the routine and just sitting beside the bed, no talking at all. do not acknowledge him at all and each night move farther and farther away from the bed towards the door.

The routine though is the most important factor and once he cathches on to it I am sure it will be easier to put him to bed.

Billie - posted on 08/03/2010

Violent tantrums out of nowhere. A sudden and drastic change in behavior like that...I would question it too. Anything out of the ordinary happen a week ago? Maybe not something you would see as obviously stressful, but it may be bothering him. When he gets to sleep, does he sleep peacefully or tossing about? The only thing I can think of is that he may be having night terrors. Have you talked to your pediatrician about it?

Karly - posted on 08/02/2010

he has had a bedtime routine since he was 1month thats why its thrown me. he wont tell me why he dosnt want to go to bed

Michelle - posted on 08/02/2010

I really would have to say that it probably habe to do with his age as well!!

Billie - posted on 08/02/2010

What's his bedtime routine like? Do you have an established schedule that you follow with him every night? For example small snack, bath (johnson's bedtime lotion is great after bath), story and then lights out. Putting my kiddie on a schedule really helped to nuetralize a lot of the tantrum business. He may also be having nightmares and may be afraid of being in the room by himself. Try to talk to him about it and see if you can get him to tell you if he's upset about something that may be causing him to have bad dreams. Maybe a recent change that he's not dealing with well. If that's the case, give him some way to have control over his bad dreams. Something like if he wakes up from a bad dream, sing his favorite song out loud and when the monsters know he can sing the whole song like a big boy they'll go away. Something to make him feel like he can face the fear by himself. A nightlight might also help with that. Best of luck mama!