Jillian - posted on 11/28/2009 ( 90 moms have responded )
We just had a DNA test to establish paternity for my little girl who will be 5 months soon. When this test was done, that was the first time I'd seen him in over a year, might I add. Now my baby's dad is asking me to not go for child support and asked that he see his child and be able to take her during the day...I told him I would not go for child support, but after much thought, I decided I am going to file for full custody and child support. Now, right now he is civil (for him, at least). But I know the way he is, after I tell him I'm going for child support/full custody and that I want supervised visits, he is going to flip a lid. Some people said I should negotiate with him..try to settle things out of court such as visitations and him giving me so much money every week and if he doesnt; follow through, then file. I thought about that but I highly doubt that will go over well with him. I know he will definitely take offense to supervised visits. Now, the problem here is he is a very violent/tempramental/scary man. Hence, why I think he will most likely flip a lid when I mention that I'm going to file. I have not told him where I live..he knows whereabouts but not the apartment number. I was going to let him come see the baby at my house but after much thought, I don't think that will be a good idea. He is the type to harass, I know he does have some PFA's against him and he has also hit me on several occasions. I've also been informed of how he treats his other children which he does not have custody of either. Yes, he does have several other kids all with different moms. Yes, I know I was stupid to let myself get pregnant to him but I have to say I don't regret it b/c I have a beautiful little girl. Anyway, some of these moms I know won't even let him see their kids. So I am scared for me and my daughters life after I file, so that's why I decided not to let him know where I live. I'm going to ask him to meet at a public place...in a subtle way. I don't want him to know that I"m scared right now....So anyway again, I'm going to file for full custody, file for child support, and request supervised visits. Does anyone have any advice...am I doing the right thing? Anything is appreciated. Any questions for me..ask please.