being a single mom...

Janet - posted on 02/05/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I have been a single mom raising my son Jared for the last 5 years on my own. I was happy to see this category on circle of moms. I was once told that being a single mother is the hardest job in the world! How true it is! Part of me is glad to be a single mother, I am raising the most wonderful little boy in the world. It really irks me when I hear married mothers complain about how stressful their lives are or how useless their husbands are with the children. I don't have to deal with his father, he only sees his son maybe twice a year. I struggle with the fact that my son doesn't have a male role model in his life. My son definitely brings out my inner tomboy!

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Mary Beth - posted on 02/14/2009

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Boys and Girls club, boy scouts, big brothers and church mentors are all options.  Hope you try one.

Debbie - posted on 02/14/2009

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hi Janet



kudos to you. I too have been a single mom 10 yrs now, but really I have been all her life cause even when I was married, I was a single mom.  I know what you mean about married people complaining, but the one that really irks me is when they complain to you about money re:  ex husband and gf .  I basically want to rip her head off, these women that cannot or will not try to make it on their own without a man should really shut up and get a back bone. my daughter is almost 13 now and it has not been easy but I would rather be alone and don't know if I can even live with a man again.  lol.  Take care and keep up the good attitude. 

Cathy - posted on 02/14/2009

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I am much happier being a single mom but I am lonely.  At night once my 3 year is asleep the house is very quiet and empty and at times I wish he was there just to full the space.  But I have to remind myself that he was more work and our household was not a happy one.  My son has a good solid male role model in my dad and he talks to his father once a week on the phone.  When I weigh up the pros and cons, my son and I are happier alone!  I think we all need to be proud of ourselves for doing it alone - its not an easy job!

Courtney - posted on 02/13/2009

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I completely understand where your coming from, I have 1 year old twins and have been on my own since I found out I was preganant. I get so angry when my friends ring me and moan about how they are fighting with their partners or they wont do anything with the kids and so on. I accept that Im on my owwn and thats ok, although very lonely sometimes but thats my life, but I always wonder if people ever realise how good it must be to have that other parent around to even argue about the little things with. I sometimes wish my children had the joysof a father around but instead for now we will just keep listening to people moan about how much they hate it.

Leslie - posted on 02/13/2009

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yeah, i can understand what you mean. Sometimes it's just best without the father. If they are not willing to help or have interest in the child's life then yeah, better off! And it doesn't have to be the daddy to have a male role model. It can be one of your cool cousins, a sibling or even a good guy friend :) ... us women are very intelligent and independant :)

Amy - posted on 02/12/2009

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It is so nice to hear everyone else in the same situation. I am a single mom to a 7 year old boy and a 5 year old girl. I worry about my son because between working and his school I don't get to see him much but I am lucky to have my family. I have 3 brothers and a dad who love to spend time with my son. The kids see their dad about every other weekend but it still is not the same.  I think as long as you are doing good your kids will know that everything will be ok.

Dorota - posted on 02/11/2009

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I love being a single mom - not to say that I don't want a companion and more kids...someday, but I'm proud of what I have accomplished with my life as a single mother and I credit that to my 5 year old son. He's driven me to be the best I can be and I strive to show him all he needs to know to the best of my knowledge. I'm fortunate that I have wondeful parents and such a great dad who embraces being the male role model in his life. I too am sick of married mothers who complain about how busy they are - yet they wouldn't last half a day in my shoes!

Jessica - posted on 02/11/2009

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To me the transition to being a single mom wasn't that hard. Pretty much from the time our daughter was born her Dad never helped out and in most cases he caused me more stress and work. Now that we are getting divorced I'm happier because I don't have to deal with his crap and I can raise her in a good Christian loving environment. He and I had completely different ideas about how to raise her and what was appropriate to do and not to do. I do get a lot of looks of sympathy and pity but I tell them not to feel bad for me because I sure don't. Yeah it's harder doing it on your own, but I was used to it anyway and I'm lucky to have a very supportive family.

Sarah - posted on 02/11/2009

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Mom's ROCK...single or not! My completely wonderful mom got me this great book. The Most Dangerous Book for Boys. My little guy is only 4 so he's not old enough for it all, but it's such a great book. It just teaches them 'boy stuff'. Our society tries to feminize boys (in my opinion). I've also thought a lot about male influence in my sons life. I would love for him to have a great guide, and teacher, and he does find that in his grandfather, and my sisters partner. But I still wonder if it's enough.

Rande - posted on 02/11/2009

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If you help him learn the boy stuff he will be fine. I have been a single mom for 16 years now and my son is a perfectly normal boy. He isn't into sports, not because I didn't try but because he is a computer geek. LOL.I also have a 7 yr old girl that is doing just as well in everything. As long as you have people to talk to it is going to be ok. I actually think it's easier to be a single parent because you don't have to answer to anyone else but yourself and the kids. My sister is married and is trapped by her husband as to what she can do with money, how to keep house, and what to do with the kids. I don't envy that at all.

Sharon - posted on 02/10/2009

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it's nice to know i'm not the only one that feels this way. i get sick of people feeling sorry for me cos i'm doing it on my own,in some respects it's easier because his father & i have very different views on bringing up a child & i know if we had stayed together it would have been a lot harder.

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