Being a single mother, what scares you the most about today's world?
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Katy - posted on 07/04/2010
What scares me is not being able to provide the things for my son that a two income earning family could and that he will be treated differently by people because I am a single mother, I know there is a stigma about it and I want him to have the same opportunities as everyone else's children.
Julia - posted on 07/02/2010
I worry that my little boy will turn out like his dad.
And that something might happen to me and he'd have to go and live with his dad, i just hope that EVERYONE i know and every member of my family would go to court all together and stop it from happeneing.
Carmen - posted on 07/02/2010
What scares me the most is that something may happen to me and he wont be old enough to live on his own. That I wont be around when he needs me to help him make the right choices. But I also pray alot and I have faith that God will see me through this and that i will be here for my son.
Marisol - posted on 07/01/2010
What scares me the most is knowing my son has a father that wants nothing to do with him & has denied him since day 1....One day he's gonna ask questions and will I have the right answers for him? I thank God everyday for my son.......
Inga - posted on 07/01/2010
I am not so scared as I am sad that my son's father has taken such a back seat as a parent. My son is off to college in the fall. My son's + male role models have been my father & family friends. I have raised him to be a polite gentleman, but when my son encounters "guy" issues in college, I hope he feels he can still rely on the same people without them being judgemental
Joanne - posted on 07/01/2010
Alot scares me being a single mother, i hate that my daughter doesnt have a loving father to do all the things a father should do and share with her and be that part in her life to teach her the things fathers should, It scares me struggling financially for the things i want for my daughter. It scares me that she doesnt have the family setup a child should with two loving parents and that im struggling motionally with it. She shouldnt have to suffer threw all this from a choice i made. Luv you my lil girl xx
and also the pain this world brings upon a person..
Sue - posted on 06/30/2010
Being ill and unable to care for my son. Recently I had an operation and there was nobody around to help me. Luckily he is 11. When I was unable to cook, I sent him up the takeaway. He was happy with that!
Karmi - posted on 06/30/2010
What scares me is having to answer to my son when he wants to know about his father and his grandfather(his dad's side) His dad is in prison and his grandfather just got out of a 10 year prison term. I don't want him to know about all of that. But I guess I will have to tell him the truth about why his dad isn't around. But what also scares me is not being able to give him all he deserves.
Lauri - posted on 06/30/2010
I think it's heartbreaking to read all the posts- the majority of us have the same fears- loss of jobs, no real relationships..lonliness and the fear if something were to happen to us, who would be there to take care of our kids. It's an awful lot of pressure, stress and responsibility for one person to take- life shouldnt be this way; it's hard enough. Why do we as "mothers" have to shoulder all of the responsibilites while the "fathers" simply throw some money at us and go about their lives like they have no kids.. and that's if u can get them to pay anything!! ..My ex husband (9 years divorced) goes on about his life with his girlfriend and her 2 kids and rarely even calls our kids...I am personally exhausted...and it sounds like we all are... it's not fair..
Lauri - posted on 06/30/2010
Losing my job and not being able to find Mr. Right who will accept two teenage boys.. I have been finding it very difficult to keep a decent relationship- so many men want to "date" and when things become serious and they realize that I am the mother, father, taxi, school adviser (all-around super woman), they tend to fall off quickly when they see that I cant give all of my time to them, 2 teens and a demanding 9 hour work day as a professional. I am tired of trying and being lonely as well. Where are all the decent men?
Theresa - posted on 06/30/2010
When my girl starts to ask me about her dad, and wants to get to him or something like that where he is really good at decieving and making up lies to people. I want her to know he wasn't there from the start because it was "too hard" to make an effort and drive half hour i don't want to be blamed for everything..But most of all i want to be able to make my girl really happy and not being able to do so.
Laura - posted on 06/29/2010
Being single forever scares me, too. My ex is on his 2nd girlfriend in less than a year since we broke up. He actively sought companionship right away. I am afraid to even look. I will definitely be more cautious the next time I do meet someone. My 3 year-old daughter is the most important thing in my life right now and I enjoy every minute with her. She is the joy of my life. What I worry about is being single when she doesn't need me as much. You're right about online dating, it is a bit strange. I want to meet someone the old-fashioned way and fall in love by chance, not by selection.
Tina - posted on 06/29/2010
How hard it is to raise a family on one income. It's almost impossible. I'm doing it without any government assistance and I hope to continue to do that. I do understand why people have to use it, though. It is so expensive, especially child care.
Tiffani - posted on 06/29/2010
I have to say what scares me and worries me the most is that I have not lived up to what my girls need and are looking for! Since The youngest was 2 I have raised them on my own. I have not stopped them from knowing their dad but he is still a dead beat dad either way and that hurts knowing they have tried just as much as I have to keep him involved yet they see he is with another women and her 4 kids call him dad and he participaters in their lives. But always plays the poor pitiful me game as to it is not his fault it is eveyone elses'. Now my girls have grown into strong beautiful teens one is 14 and the other will be 12 soon. They grow up so fast and I worry so much about the worlds influence on them because we can talk til we are blue in the face but being able to reach our children the way we wish only seems to happen once they become mothers or fathers them selves. They do listen more than we give them credit for but they are also human and are going to make mistakes just as we did it is what shapes them into who they are. I just want my girls to remeber what is important family and the goals they set for themselves. I don't want my girls falling in the same path I did or become like these other kids that make me wonder what this world is coming to when I see all the direspect. I have not gotten out and dated much after leaving their dad, it has been mostly working and raising them so I worry about them not being able to get that male role model and fallen for the wrong man because they have longed for a male to be a part of their lives. Most of the men that have the opportunity to be a part of their lives always seem to fall short so I worry about the effects that has had on them as well. I have a hard time trusting and I see it beginning to form in them as well. My Father was the best when it came to being there until my step mother felt she was not in control and thought he was spending to much time with them. So after seeing that he fell for that and was willing to throw away the opportunity to be a part in their lives especially after they both looked up to him so much- he was their hero and it really hurt them when he stopped coming around. Men just do not hold up to what they say. I want my girls to be happy in life not worry about a man walking out on them!
Sharon - posted on 06/29/2010
everything scares me if i think about it for too long so i don't think about things. i take each day as it comes & do wot i can to protect & prepare my son for all that could happen. just answer questions as they come as honestly & factually as you can. i love my son more than anything & i make a point of telling him so he knows.
Rocio - posted on 06/27/2010
Being a single mother there are a handful of things that scare me...But I guess the one that comes to mind right off the bat would be what Im gonna tell my son about his dad. My son is 3 rite now and doesnt understand that his father left us, but most imporantly left him. But Ive managed to make it through several obsticles on my own. But Im scared of what I should tell him about why his dad left and is no longer apart of our lives. My mother never bad mouthed my so-called "father" to me and I know i shouldnt do the same to him. The only thing I tell him when my son ask's "Where is my daddy" is "He is longer apart of our lives but we wish him well wit his". Im hoping god gives me the strenght and knowledge to raise my son to be the best man he can be. Being a single mother is not easy but I love my son and my life and I wouldnt have it either way.
Melissa - posted on 06/27/2010
Nothing scared me at all. I wanted to be a single mom, I was willing to let my son's bio-dad in his life, but he was useless. My son is now 12 and he doesn't want to see his "real dad". I got raise him "my" way, with no interference. I now have a polite, good kid. He does some of the normal boy stuff, but that is normal. I feel that people blaming behavior problems on the "absense of a father" a cop out. It's all in the way you, as a single mom teach them. You have to be nurturing and at the same time you have to discipline. My son is a 1st degree blackbelt in karate and could whoop my butt any given day. But because he respects me, he does, for the most part, what I ask.
Tanisha - posted on 06/27/2010
What scares me the most is that my daughter will grow up without a positive male figure in her life; that strong hand that protects her from the rift raft she will meet, that masculine voice that gives her encouragement, that true father figure that should guide her and simply spend quality time with her. My daughter is missing all of that, but as her mother and father, I do the best that I can. I simply stay "prayed up". God is the only father she truly needs.
Prisca - posted on 06/27/2010
Being a single mum what scares me most is the effect of growing up without a father figure will have on his confidence,or his personality.though i try to be the best that i can be....otherwise i do it very well
Laure - posted on 06/26/2010
Not being able to provide for my family. With the tough economy and the sacrifice I made when married to spend more time with my kids, I am finding it nearly impossible to get a good paying steady job now that I am a single mom.
Carrie - posted on 06/26/2010
I am scared most that I won't be able to give my girls everything that I would be able to give them if I had help. I love being a single mom and know that I can do whatever is put in front of me. I just want my girls to be able to grow up with the most love and be able to say that their mom did her best.
Hermese - posted on 06/26/2010
I think what scares me the most is being single forever. Men nowdays don't really want to take the chance of being step dad, or maybe the guys i've met..I don't have that much free time to get out so meeting guys is hard and the whole online dating thing is a bit retarded!!!
Diana - posted on 06/26/2010
I'm still recovering from that bad relationship, have practically lost everything and don't live with all my children right now not because the court took them away it was a decision I thought was right to make. I'm building myself up little by little so that when the time comes I did it with my own sweat without needing to be with someone.
Diana - posted on 06/26/2010
I have already married a second time, I had at the time two children and we had a child together. He had been married before and also brought along a child from that marriage. The relationship on his part was all based upon lies and there was on top of that emotional domestic violence first towards me then toward my children. I thought he was respectful, caring, loving, I liked the friend he had...all professional, he was well kept, carried with him a college education, handsome, etc. I didn't marry right away because of our child, two years into the relationship. Then everything started to fall apart. You know you are taught to forgive and I would let things go but one thing led to another, the more I let slide the worse he got. My fear is crossing paths with another man who isn't worth my time. I'm much older now and have four kids now, two girls and two boys. If a man lies to you and is a good liar you won't know until you're so into it that you're drowning and can't save yourself, and then having to save your children as well. I don't want to go through it all over again to make another mistake.
Monica - posted on 06/26/2010
Afraid that I will pass some of my bad habits onto my oldest daughter. She feels the lack of her dad. He has gone on to have other children; one of which he is raising.
I was a product of a single parent household and my dad died when I was 14 before we had the chance to rebuild our relationship. I forgave him in my heart for abandoning me, but I find myself going in and out of feeling abandoned. I don't want my daughter to feel that way and end up making poor choices like I did. Having "Someone" is never better than "No one". The result is the same......alone.
Ida - posted on 06/26/2010
I want to be able to provide well for my daughter although I know it's not healthy to give kids everything they want whenever they want. I am looking for employment and the job market is quite picked over if you know what I mean. With the local college here there are many qualified applicants to compete with. I did return to college myself and took a medical unit clerk certificate program but, yes it's competitive.