Boyfriend says he'll leave me if i keep the baby!

Amanda Van - posted on 06/19/2017 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I've been with a close friend of mine for just over a year. We've been good friends for 15 yrs and had hooked up a long time ago. Rekindled and decided to give it a go together. It hasn't been the easiest or fairytale the last year but we had just made it to a good place in our relationship and bam I fall pregnant. He had expressed clearly he didn't want any more kids (aside from my 4 yr old and his 18 yr old) we had both agreed on that much but not that I'd have an abortion if we did get pregnant. Now he's telling me that we had agreed on that and that I'm changing my mind and that's f@#!ed. He said I'm ruining his life if I habe this baby and that he's not going to bee a part of it. I'm hurt, I remember telling him it would be very hard to habe an abortion since I've had one and know how hard it is and didn't ever want to do that again. I know I'll regret it and be left feeling like there's something missing. I know ill resent him. I'm ready to let him go, but it's so hard. I'm having a hard time picturing myself raising two children on my own. Financially it'll be a struggle, but I know I can do it. I just need some support really ad I think my mind is made up... thanks in advance!

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Nancy - posted on 06/21/2017

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You got this! I agree with you on the abortion decision, once you have been down that road, it is something you would never do again, at least that is the case for me. It took me a long time to forgive myself for that decision. It sounds like you are a good mother, and you know you can do this. Please don't let him pressure you into this. I know being a single mom can be challenging (I have been there too) but it is not impossible, nothing is impossible. I look at my kids now and I can't imagine life without them, even though I went through some hard times, they are definitely worth the hugs, love, and smiles they give me. They are my biggest accomplishments! I will be praying for you and for a healthy pregnancy!

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I Am - posted on 07/06/2017

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We are similar but we are married. We have a 3 months' old baby and his son is close to 10 years old. His live with his mum and they broke cause she got laid outside with other men. She use their kid to force him to obey money support and all she want. I want one more kid but they made him tired to handle so I am thinking to take my kid away because I don't want to get involved into them with kid. Trust yourself you can make it

AG - posted on 06/25/2017

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I'm sorry you're going through this.. I have similar story as you (been with a close friend for a long time, got pregnant, then he flipped and wanted me to abort and said nasty things like your bf).. I ended up deciding to keep it, we stopped talking and I went through my entire pregnancy alone.. He did eventually become a part of his daughter's life but we hit another obstacle.. (Feel free to look up my post from a few week's ago for more information if you'd like).. Letting go was definitely hard but as a mom, you already know that we are about our kids now. Do what you feel is right for you and your family. There won't ever be regret about that.... I'm here if you need to talk!

Katija2013 - posted on 06/24/2017

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i was raised by a single mum and thrived. i am now raising two children on my own, post separation (fiance). it is incredibly hard, but the three of us are incredibly happy. my kids are happy little souls. their dad has little interest and provides zero financial support. i have no other family (i was an only child and my parents have both passed away). honestly, if i can do it. so can you. i also work full time - so rely on day care. i dont get any welfare, yet still manage. you can have a beautiful future with just your little gorgeous unit of three! dont let this bf coerce you into an abortion.

Sarah - posted on 06/21/2017

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You don't need to have an abortion. End of story. You can have and parent this child. He is obligated to financially support the baby until age 18, whether or not he wants to co-parent is up to him. Name him on the BC, file for child support and enjoy your child.

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