can someone help me...

Sarah - posted on 06/25/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My hubby and i are on a break as he is unhappy at the moment and we have 3 young boys all under the age of 4 years old,i am finding it hard being away from him and i am actually praying that he returns to work on our relationship.i am scared as i have never been alone before and now i am and having to cope with 3 boystous boys.i know 3 young children is a strain on a relationship.if anyone has any tips for coping on your own i would appriecate it soooo much as i am sooo scared and can't keep relying on my mum for support
sazza

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Alexis - posted on 06/29/2009

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hi sarah,

i have 2 under 3 and it is really hard work....i could never take my kids out as they both run in different directions and i was so wound up. and exhausted... it was easier to stay at home withthem .... so i can understand how you feel.....

have you looked at mothers groups or play groups for the kids.....i decided to put my kids in daycare .... it wasnt straight away and i only put the eldest one in 2 days a week then 3 days then 8 months later i put the youngest in for 2 days and then for 3 days a week.... so that gives me a break and it gives them the stimulation and the interaction with others......

they both have a day each that they spend with me and they love the one on one attention..... i dont know if it is possible for you do something similar....

otherwise maybe take them to a indoor play centre to run off some energy.....

i found that once i had an outlet it was a much easier... mind you im still finding it really difficult but im getting there......



just try and keep a routine, i know that can be a challenge in its own...

i wish you luck.....

Sarah - posted on 06/29/2009

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i only go out with the youngest to a baby gym on fridays and the rest of the weeks its just stay in with the boys as my friends and hubby all work all weeks and hubby trys to see them at least one night a week but he works late and he see them on sundays nowmy friends have kids too but they do the school runs etc so i never really get to see them.i am quite alone and stuck in my house people say this is my own fault but its difficult to do anything with boys on my own...i have given hubby 2 weeks to think things thro and i truely hope he will know by then but i am willing to give him till his parents return to the country so he has his mum to talk things thro with as he has noone too.

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Sarah, sorry about your situation. So, as I understand your husband is "unhappy at the moment" I hope it doesn't reflect on his relationship with his sons. I hope he is spending good amount of quality time with the boys.

It's wonderful that you have a supportive mom (what would we do without our mom's shoulders to cry on?) What about friends? Do you spend time with them? You need to go out, take your sons with you, try to be as active as you can with them, so you don't dwell on your situation with your husband. As for your husband, you and him need to have a talk about your situation - he cannot just leave you hanging. You both need to decide whether or not you will work to save your marriage. Even if he feels he needs time to think about this, you both have to agree on a deadline. Let's say he needs a week, or two - and after that you'll sit down and talk. Don't let him drag it out forever while he is searching for his happiness, meanwhile, you'll be waiting for his return. Give deadlines, and then move on.

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