Can't get child support, feeling sad.

LIsa - posted on 09/11/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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My chid's father lives in another country and barely give me anything. My child is three and I sometimes feel like I am not a good mother because I can't get her more things because of financial obligations. I beg my child's father to do more and help, but he won't. I am feeling depressed tonight, but will not let it get the best of me.

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Sarah - posted on 12/18/2010

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I know the feeling, honey! One thing to think about tho... growing up poor is not the worst thing that can happen to a kid. They learn to take care of and appreciate the things that they do get because they learn the value of things. Just be ther for your kids and they will respect you for doing everything that you can do.

As for the depression, talk to your doctor. I got some help in that area and the meds are really cheep, like $4 per month at Walmart. Don't be ashamed to get any help that you need. You can be a better person and mother when you're not battling depression.

Good luck!

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13 Comments

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Nia - posted on 12/17/2010

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I know how you feel my childs father lives in another state and I ask him for help when he talks to me and he's no help. All he talks about it how he doesnt have the money and why dont I go aske my friends for their baby stuff. I hope you get some type of support from him soon and I'm sure you're a great nother thats doing the best for your child.

Elizabeth - posted on 12/16/2010

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I'm pregnant with my first and only 19 so no experience as a mother but I can tell you from being young and growing up without any financial stability....My best memories are of good times with my mom, when she'd write me something nice and leave it for me to find or cook me one of my favorites or something like that where you put some thought into it. Your kid is still young, you can teach him/her the more important things in life than material things. He'll only find that stuff important if you teach that it is.
Hope that helps :)

A - posted on 12/16/2010

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If your having trouble financially, the government has programs in place to help single parents. There are also second hand stores and the local food bank. I have to use all to help with my three kids. I first felt ashamed that I had to use a food bank and had to go to second hand stores but then I reminded myself it was for my kids and that changed everything. I don't like that I have to go that route, but for my kids I would do anything. You have many options available to you, use them all. Whether you want to or not. Do not let pride or shame get in the way and you will quickly find yourself wondering why you didn't do it sooner. Take care!

Julie - posted on 12/15/2010

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Be strong.. Most important thing is to be with your daughter and give her lots of love. I am on the same boat not having enough money and I can only give what I can and when. I have four girls and they totally understand. Our children always lift our spirits up and we mom's are so bless to have them.

Nikki - posted on 12/06/2010

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You are a good mother period cause you raise her alone :) I too , receive "nothing" at all from my son's father and it's really tough but don't get down on yourself . Your child needs you !! I remind myself of that every day and it's the love I give that is far more important than material things even though I understand wanting to do more for them yourself :) Truly , I get it. I begged and begged my son's father to help our child with support . I tried being nice , then got mad and was not nice etc but no approach worked so I filed through DHS and they are very close to garnishing his wages. I have never stopped pursuing child support and I never will as his father IS responsible as well . No two ways about it . SOme people have told me to "let it go" but I will never let it go ! It's about to pay off literally !!! I couldn't be any happier for my son as when he begins to receive the support I will be so relieved as it's not fair for the father to simply "walk away" from his child . Doing absolutely nothing for the child ! I said , "NO WAY !!" So file for support and do all you can to get it for your child :) You did not make your child ALONE !! Good luck to you and God Bless

[deleted account]

Hang in there. I know how it is, I'm not getting anything either and my son's father lives right down the street! The courts have all the current info and still nothing because he quit his job a month after our court hearing. I am going back to school. I am determined to make more money. Look into state and city jobs. They're nice and secure. Whatever you do don't get down on yourself! Single moms are amazing and hard working. Just see it as a temporary set back and have faith that it will get better. Put it befor God and He will see you through.

Pauline - posted on 09/13/2009

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Darling like the others say don't let it get you down. You've done it 3 years, just look to God for strength and gudiance and you'll see miracles in your life. Keeping being a brilliant mum.

LIsa - posted on 09/13/2009

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I understand. Sometimes you want to give your child the best and do all you can.

Tiffany - posted on 09/12/2009

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I understand what you are going through. I have a 2yr and a 10month old. Their father had conveniently lost his job the day after the child support hearing. That was six months ago. You have to get her what she needs first then what she wants when you can. What helps for me is going to second hand retail shops. You can sometimes find unused clothing at a very cheap price. I also find ways to cut back on other expenses when I can. Hope this helps.

Maryland - posted on 09/11/2009

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Lisa you can not let that get you down. I as a parent understand were you are coming from with that. I to have a minor child and it does hurt, but you have to look farther then him why because your health and strength comes from the lord so look at it that way things will get better for you and her. I always believe and do believe god will provide he will not let you down no matter what so look at him he will provide for you and yours daughter.

Maryland - posted on 09/11/2009

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Lisa you can not let that get you down. I as a parent understand were you are coming from with that. I to have a minor child and it does hurt, but you have to look farther then him why because your health and strength comes from the lord so look at it that way things will get better for you and her. I always believe and do believe god will provide he will not let you down no matter what so look at him he will provide for you and yours daughter.

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