Caught my son pleasuring himself with my high heels! How to deal with son's shoe/foot fetish?

Ashley - posted on 07/26/2014 ( 34 moms have responded )

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A friend of mine referred me to this site, I hope some of you might know what I should do.

A little background: I'm 35 and my son is 18, he just graduated high school and is living with me until he transfers out from his community college. I had him very young. His father was my highschool sweetheart, and he'd promised to help me raise him but was killed in a car accident just before our high school graduation, so It's just been my son and me ever since. I feel like I raised him "right", was a good student, played baseball through middle and high school, seemed like he'd had a "normal" high school teenage development, or at least he never did anything that felt out of the ordinary.

About a week ago I came home from work and chatted with him for a bit on the couch. He went up to his room after a bit, and I went up to mine a little while later. After about 10 minutes I realized I'd left something in my car and headed back out to get it. As I came down the hall way, I saw him in the living room. I'd taken my high heels off and left them by the couch when I first came out, and I was shocked to find him on his knees, pants undone, with one of my heels over his groin area and the other over his nose and mouth! He was obviously pleasuring himself with my shoes! I was so shocked and embarrassed I quietly snuck back into my room. I don't think he saw me catch him doing this, or if he did he didn't acknowledge me.

Since then I've started noticing things I hadn't picked up on before. I'd sometimes find my shoes placed out of order in my closet over the past few years, but I'd always chalked it up to deja vu, But now I'm definitely noticing that he's coming into my closet when I'm not there and messing with my high heels. The last couple of days I feel like he's eyeballing my feet when I leave for work in heels, I don't know if he is or if I'm just overreacting but I don't know what to do!

I've never noticed anything like this before, he's never said anything to me about it and I've never caught him doing anything like this. What does this all mean? Does my sweet boy harbor urges for me? Is he cross dressing? Should I confront him? Should I just learn to live with it? Im so embarrassed and I don't want to humiliate him but I don't know how to deal with this.

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Tracy - posted on 11/04/2014

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ive also got a problem Im a single mum and ive caught my sonplenty of time sniffing my pants and masturbating over them then putting them back in the wash basket but he cums in them so when I grab them I feel his cum on my hand and for some reason that really turns me on so I lick and swallow abit of it but also ive seen him on many ocations watching me in the shower and when im getting changed hes caught me masturbating and he was also masturbating but I didn't mind that because its natural so I carried on and then the weirdest thing of all when I was asleep ( im a deep sleeper) I also sleep naked but he was touching my boobs and playing with my tits and pussy not going to lie to you all but he made me very wet and then he put his dick in me I woke up and he was fucking me I pushed him off and ever since then I wish I could fuck him but he is my son is that really wrong ive had too keep a lock on my door because im afraid next time I wont stop him but someone help me shal I just fuck him and get it out of the way so he wont bother me hes done this too my sister and she told me too ask you lot what too do because she said if we do go ahead with it she will join in because im not being weird but his dick is massive and I mean massive ? what do I do??

Jane - posted on 10/15/2014

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I've been through this. I've 2 girls and a boy. They are 17 and 19. He is 15. I am 42.
All 3 of us noticed our shoes being moved , seeming cleaner and being put neatly in pairs in the shoe cupboard. I laid some traps to make sure I was on the right track with my suspicions. ( making the heels muddy , taking pictures of where they were etc)
Sure enough it was when my son was alone in the house they would be cleaned and moved.. I questioned him. He cried and said he couldn't help it. He assured me he wasn't atracted to me or his sisters , but felt compelled to smell and lick all our shoes and admitted he sniffed the foot part of our dirty socks and tights. I was shocked but respected his honesty. I told him it was ok . We let him do it now and he often takes my work shoes and slippers to his room at night. I'm sure he will grow out of it.

Jennifer - posted on 03/02/2015

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Foot fetishes are a bit more common than I think most people understand. I have an uncle who has had one for as long as I can remember. Whenever he comes to my house to visit I can always count on there being a time when is seems to be unaccounted for. I now know exactly where he has been and what he does, he goes into my closet and will pleasure himself in one of my high heels. It has actually become as much of an erotic experience for me now as I cannot wait for him to leave and go upstairs to discover what pair he has used and to slip my foot into my shoes and feel him, sometimes still warm between my toes. I have become quite bad too because every time now when he comes over I tend to tease him a bit by either going barefoot or wear a pair of heels. I don't dare let on to him that I know out of fear that we would both lose something that has become arousing and pleasurable, I just know I am happy to always host the family holiday and know that I will get at least one hostess gift.

Sarah - posted on 07/19/2015

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I would just tell him, look I saw you the other day and I just think that you should at least get your own shoes because your sexuality is your business and not that there's anything wrong with it because if you are just experimenting there's no harm in that, as long as you are healthy and not hurting anyone else, but for me.. my shoes are basically off limits if you know what I mean.

John - posted on 07/26/2014

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Hey there, as you can read in this thread here http://www.circleofmoms.com/single-moms/... there is another mom with your very same problem. In the end you realize there is nothing to worry about, and that a fetish is just that. A simple fetish. The mother in this thread decided to be open with her son and even give shim permission to play with her heels after she's done. It brought them closer together and there is no more fear. I hope that by looking through Sarah's concerns you can put yours to rest and have a better relationship with your son

34 Comments

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Heellover - posted on 06/14/2017

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Started with and still use moms heels for masturbation. Always a chance to fuck and cum moms heels.

Brianferry24 - posted on 01/26/2017

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I have a foot fetish and a stocking fetish I used to go and buy it women shoes and stockings and just wearing around the house and masturbate with them warm I love the way they feel on my body and I still have a problem what should I do I love I'm in love with feet and stockings and heels I'd only been with you girls my whole entire life

Brianferry24 - posted on 01/25/2017

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I like women I like women that wear high heels and stockings that turns me on I have a foot fetish everytime I see that woman in stockings and high heels I I get hard

Scott - posted on 07/06/2016

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Moonlight Whispers is the best movie I know of that shows a deep and misunderstood fetish love. Well worth watching if you can get a copy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I28qZHMzvZ0

Scott - posted on 07/06/2016

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From the deeper sexual psychological perspective, trample is usually all about love and becomes a test of strength later on.

For a male to allow a women to stand on them, especially in high heels demonstrates power and control.

The control side comes from the male as being able to take it w/o breaking down and crying. The power side for the female is for her to say, "I know what you need and not afraid to give it to you." Personal security for the male comes from knowing that what ever happens underneath her is what is needed and totally up to her. Trample is also about ownership. When a women is standing on a man she actually owns him. It can be up to her as to what happens to him?

So the scary part that I can see is that this is your son and not your slave. Slaves want to be "owned" as a form of their personal security, to belong. Trample and whippings go hand in hand, they are both punishments that involve humiliation. IMHO, if you continue to trample your son, he may eventually have a fixation for your feet too? This is the scary part of crossing the line.

Have a heart to heart talk with him and explain that you are not his Mistress. Mistress is the common term in BDSM for slaves to use as formal respect for the woman. Tell him you know how he feels, and try to find out what put him on this path. But, the main thing is that he is eventually going to seek a women of his own for his desires, professional or otherwise.

Your son is a submissive, and unless something changes in regards to his fetish, he can expect to go though a whole cycle of seek and find, looking for the right woman. I just watched a guy get branded with sharp 6" high heels. The shoes she wore were the ones with spikes all over them and down the heel. She wrote her name on his back by scraping her heels on his skin leaving deep gouges some of them bleeding. I thought it took heat to brand, but, after seeing the video, it was apparent that some of the marks would be there a long time. The guy was a tattooed body builder and he screamed and cried like a baby. I learned the term for this is "Scarification, High Heel Scarification." The end game for foot and shoe fetish is to be owned at this level.

The best thing that you can do is to love him as a mother and mother only....Blessings, ScottREV18

Scott - posted on 07/05/2016

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GOD bless you!
At 66yo I'm still dealing with this as a life long issue from my early teens. There is no way to tell what direction from where you are now and where your son will end up.

To first understand what is going on, it's the "Pheromones's" that your son is after. If you have never heard of pheromones you can search for it. It's like a drug and it's more powerful than street drugs. The biggest fix will be when womens shoes are worn to excesses especially when they are first taken off and may be hot and sweaty. The more stinky, the more pheromones.

I think I may have been just like your son as my mom wore 5" high heel pumps almost always back in the 1950s-60. I sensed that it would not be right to form a relationship with her shoes I I used other means to keep a supply on hand, and hidden. Lucky for me, I grew up at at time when women threw their heels away and they were easy to find.

There is a good possibility that your son suffered some type of trauma? It would not have to be physical, but, something that caused him to feel "less." If this is the case, and you sound like you are on good terms with him, you might try to find out what it was? As for me, my whole beginning years were trauma.

What is this all about? It's about power. At your son's age, I would think that he is trying to find his power,and may see women as a threat, and that threat may be transmitted though their shoes? You have a good chance to deal with this now.

This is what "I" would do. He does not know about being caught? Somehow arrange a shopping trip to the 2nd Hand Store to go shoe shopping. This is your big chance to help him lose his fears. Pretend that you are shopping for yourself, but, keep asking his advice as to what shoes to buy. You might play it up by taking the shoe off bringing it to your nose and smelling and saying something like, "now that's good leather" and then holding it to his nose and watching his reaction? Then some words to the effect of, "most men love good leather, don't you think? With the right reaction from him, and a new source of foot ware, you can gently ask him to get his own.

This is just a suggestion as I don't know all of the details of your relationship. Just remember there is a LOT of fear and shame involved for him at this point.
Other than that, the fetish can be a lot of fun later on, just depends on which way it goes for him....ScottREV18

Alexus - posted on 07/04/2016

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embrace it, its just your feet, let him have his fun, you only live once girl!

Supermom - posted on 06/30/2016

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Well I am a mother of a son and two daughters and I and my daughters let my son lick ,smell our heels and sandals .I had even trampled him once on his demand you can check my post "My son has high heel fetish what to do?.Its scary" no body here even checked my post please do check it I really don't want my son to sniff my heels I really feel awkward to see my son at my feet licking my heels while I just watch him

Supermom - posted on 06/21/2016

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Well I request everyone here to read my case about my son has high heel fetish too the subject is :My son has high heel fetish .What to do ? It's scary .

Samantha - posted on 02/22/2016

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I too have a problem with this. I first noticed that my heels seemed to be moving about on their own. Then my skirts and coats would seem to have been moved around. Then it clicked one day. I had thrown some old skirts in the trash. The next day when I went to the dumpster, a couple of the skirts were partially inside out with what looked like semen all over the inside lining. I remembered my 23 year old stepson jokingly saying how sexy I looked in short straight skirts and heels. I also recalled how upset he seemed one day when I threw a couple of old down jackets in the trash.
I did confront him once when I caught him with a pair of my heels. He openly admitted that he was turned on by my clothes especially my skirts with back splits and the nylon fabric of my coats. He also told the only clothes he messed in were those in the trash. I never did find stains on any of my clothes so I believe him. He genuinely seems interested in my clothes and not me, for that reason I leave it be.

John - posted on 01/29/2016

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Hello my name is John, i have the same fetish as your son. You don't have to worry, i have developed this ever since i had 8 or 9 years of age. I'm heterossexual, i don't have any gender issues, i like being male. High Heels just turn me on and i've accepeted that as part of myself and i wouldn't take that for anything. I was never caught about it and i don't like to talk about it to anyone.
As of how to deal with it, i'm not going to lie...if it was me, i would completely embarassed about being cronfronted about it, but i tottaly understand you doing it to your son. I never did that sort of thing, because my mother never wore high heels and i don't have sisters. And i've always felt really ashamed to go into a store buying high heel shoes and ask if they have my size.
I never crossed any boundaries, i never filmed women on the streets walking in high heels, because i think that's going too far.
So if you want to act like the "cool parent", the best solution most likely be you buying him a pair for him to have on his room.

Mark - posted on 12/03/2015

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My Women's Feet and High Heel fetish has become an obsession over the years with me. For you women who may not be aware of how your feet and high heels torture men in ways you probably are not aware of.

First lets talk about closed heels or "pumps"..There are many variations with many features. The innocent slingback which flatters the heel area of your foot and even revealing the beginnings of your arch. A high arch in a womens foot creates the illusion of her foot literally jumping out of the shoe and that's all it takes to give an erection in some men. I have seen women s feet in some heels where you can literally see the leather insole clear through to the outside or the "vamp" of the shoe. Low cut vamps and arches flatter the foot. Toe Cleavage pumps with the front cut low so the cleavage between a women's toes shows is definitely an erection prompter. Even the recent trend of some heel makers to color the heel and sole in red is a stimulator. Modifications to the basic pump like ankle straps, basket heels, and opening in the leather all exert an effect.
Now the Stiletto Sandal. Ladies, there's no room for compromise here. 3" is minimum. If you compromise comfort here with 2" or less you might as well not wear them. A multitude of forward strap arrangements here. The least is the best with a single cross strap being the sexiest In the heel department you have variations of ankle straps basket heels and single strap heels. Material is important here with basic leather and all variations of metallic and decorated leathers. With the sandal you even get into width of the sole or area the bottom of your foot rests on. shapely narrow soles reveal the sole of the lady's foot and yes there are a multitude of situations where the attentive male can see that part of your foot. The idea of the sandal is to show-off the majority of the women's foot. beautiful shapely arches pretty toes lovely heels and ankles are what gives me an erection.

Then you have the behavior moves like a women popping her heel in and out of an uncomfortable pump at the end of a long day...Dangling her shoe on her toes while seated. and on and on.
Look here ladies! we all know why you where this footwear...even are addicted to these shoes. Its to get the men to notice.. I'm just letting you all know its working, You don't buy a pair of $ 600 + high heels to walk to work. Its to torture us. To get our attention.

Mark - posted on 12/03/2015

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Im a 55 yo man and have a long history of foot/high heel fetish. I'm not sure its "just a phase" your son is passing through.

I remember how it started. I was about 7 years old and was over at my neighbor's house with my dad and the neighbor was quite a bit younger than most moms in the neighborhood. She was lying out in the sun on a lounge chair in a bikini and she had gorgeous legs and feet and was wearing a pair of stiletto high heel sandals. Her nails were perfectly painted with nail polish. Interestingly enough I have no recollection of any features of her waist or breasts. I just remember those feet in those high heels 50 years later like it was yesterday. Ever since then I cannot resist the urge to checkout women's legs and feet in any situation. I often stair endlessly and I'm sure many if not most women have noticed this about me. I think it has been a hinderance to me socially with women my entire life from adolescence on.

There are many theories around ranging from rejection by the mother and only getting the legs/feet as a toddler playing on the floor to connections in the brain since some sexual centers of the brain are close to the cortex area that covers the feet.

From adolescence on I have masturbated daily almost exclusively to photos of attractive women's legs and feet in high heels. The mere encounter of a women in high heels sends me to the nearest bathroom or private place for a tension relieving masturbation session.

When I was in my 40s I shared a home with an attractive women and we eventually had sex at her initiation but prior to that I had already been sneaking into her room when she wasn't home and masturbating into her high heels shooting loads of semen into and onto her heels. I often wondered if she was aware of my actions from semen stains in her heels or even the smell of dried semen in them. I even began masturbating and shooting semen onto her nylons in the lower areas hoping to occasionally see the dried semen stains on her nylons while she was wearing them.

I could go on with example after example like setting up a video camera and developing a collection of my sessions masturbating to women's legs and feet in stiletto high heels in porn and fashion magazines. Augmenting my masturbation sessions watching porn videos of women in stiletto sandals and even utilizing various stimulants through the years like marijuana and cocaine in college and nitrous oxide and narcotics more recently in an effort to find the most intense orgasm measuring my excitement level by the number and lengths of semen I could ejaculate.

I would think about some sort of intervention maybe with psychotherapy or behavior modification.

Andy - posted on 09/21/2015

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Hi there im 30 male. I have the same thing as your son. its harmless i assure you. I am just the normal bloke i like girls and everything a normal guy does. Aside from one thing when i see high heels i get an instant hard on. Why is this? wish i could tell ya. Ive had this sens about 7years old. At the time i used as well my moms heels to learn to walk in during nights. Never got caught. I then got my own heels a few years back and oh that was difficult to explain to the family who might see them. I wear them allot and i like the feel of them. The feeling is what makes it worth it all for me. I do not wanna swap gender or anything just like the way the heels make me feel.

But sadly the way the world is you cant wear what you want outside. So such a nice thing needs to stay inside. I normaly buy 2nd hand shoes sens i like used ones. And i like the smell of some.

Then again the only bad thing with this is finding a understanding girl that can accomidate such things. Because its inprinted into the head. Must play with heels. But for now ive been dumped two times because i was hounst and said what i like before we started anything to serous.

For me watching a girl in high heels is ten times better then playing with em. And if the girl is good in heels thats an instant hit with me.

Hope i could help if you wanna talk and i could tell you more just holler. :)

Steve - posted on 07/28/2015

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I'd be careful, from personal experience it often is about the person. I used to masturbating a lot into my ex mother in laws shoes, panties, everything. I'd never make a mess out of what little self respect I had left, but boy it was a sexual experience that was about her and the forbidden nature of it all. Point being, it really might be a fantasy about you Mom.

Lee - posted on 06/15/2015

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Hi

As a boy fanaticising about painted toe nail in sandals my mom
Used to spank me with a mule sandals
On the chair with one going for it and one in the other near my face
And the smell of leather give me such a rush
Hi
My experience

And from that time on
My first experience was
A white leather Mule Sandal what she kicked my arse with
With
That was the first Time filling that sandal
And ever since then every girlfriend/ wife
Sandals gets it
At 43 it's still a big buzz I use hers and buy

Her sandals and I buy my own and abuse both

Thank you

Michelle - posted on 04/21/2015

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Hi Tatiana
With everything that's going on in the world regarding children's behavior I don't really think you have anything to be concerned about at as it sounds like your nephew is going through a phase of sexual experimentation with your heels and nylons and this will either go one way or another which I will come on to later.

Your nephew has a current fixation for feminine attire such as heels and nylons which he simply uses as a "tool" to masturbate over. You never mentioned your nephews age but I'm guessing that he is young (maybe a teenager) and your heels may be the only one's he has access to and that is the only reason why he uses them for masturbation as I suspect he may have seen other attractive women and girls wearing heels, lets say in the mall and this has been a sexual turn-on for him. The fact that they belong to you or your daughters bears no real meaning and so long as he does not do any damage to your things I would say let him go ahead as there is no harm in it.

Going back to the long term outcome of this - I predict (speaking from experience) that your nephew will either move on to something else to use for masturbation purposes such as pornography magazines, dvd's etc. (presuming that he has not discovered these already) or he will not be able to drop this fixation and he will acquire his own wardrobe of heels, nylons, mini skirts etc to dress up in himself when he is alone and become a cross dresser or transvestite. Again this is nothing to worry about as I have found that men who take part in this kind of activity are very gentle and polite and respectful of all females and taking it to extremes, men who go the whole hog so to speak "worship" females and even have to find a female figure who can act as their mistress whom they will serve their every wish.

One final thing, you have to remember masturbation is merely a necessary bodily function and your nephew has to get rid of the build up of semen in his body and if he does not have a girlfriend to help him with that he will find another way of doing it so once again there is nothing to be overly concerned about so long as his behavior does not offend or disgust anyone.

Will - posted on 03/17/2015

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Jennifer Everrt. What do you think would happen if you did tell him? Having a foot fetish my self reading your post was a good read.

Will - posted on 03/17/2015

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I have a foot fetish my self we don't mean any harm and I don't see no harm in this you just need to tell him in your own way and how you feel about him playing with your high heels what was he doing with them.

Abby - posted on 03/08/2015

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You are a great mom my son has a slipper fetish and I don't know if I should let him have my slipper or not

Dean - posted on 02/25/2015

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It's a simple foot fetish it's nothing to worry about I have a foot fetish myself and I don't feel at all dangerous maybe he is scared of people finding out I've had a fetish for girls feet for as long as I can remember but scared of people finding out because of how people react make me feel like I'm not normal and strange I got bullied loads for it from the age of 15 I'm 23 now and still scared of what people think of me

Christine - posted on 02/19/2015

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Hi Heels, Should you confront him, or sneak around hiding this discovery of a shoe fetishists. You should not confront. But what you should don it talk to him in a manner of encouragement of sorts.He will automatically deny it feverishly. You have to let him know its not oit of the ordinary for boys or men to have a shoe or foot fetish. Say while he is denying it ' Stop! Listen! I am cool with it. I realize that even if you dont. That some males do have fetishes, and they are generally harmless. But I am just a little uneasy about your using my heels for this. And then my wearing them (am I right about that) So what I will do, is get you a pair or two and you can keep them in your bed room. What you do from that point. Do do not what to really get that far into it.Nor would I appreciate your wearing them around me if thats part of your fetish. But most of all I really wish you would find a girl that you like, and understanding to this as I am. But this is not a free for all on heel fetishes in this house. Do we have an understanding? ' you need to use encouragement to let him know hes not the only one out there like himself, and that your understand it. But thats all you want to do, since he is yoir son. Then you have to lay down the law. That you are uneasy with his using your shoes, and your shoes are off limits from that point on. And if you do not want your son wearing heels when you get him a pair or two from Goodwill. Get him some that are 3 times smaller that will not fit. Most fetishists such as myself included. See the heels (in my case boots) as only part of it. The other part is the masturbation. Do not ask me how a fetish works. I do know the two parts of how I came aboit mine.But mentally do not know the core of it.Youve masturbated before. And please, dont you deny it either. Everyone has. The only difference is his age ( males at that age are having wild hormonal bouts that need release. And a fetish is fine. Better that than his forcing himself on someone.....right. Buy him the heels) and he is a male.j

Tracy - posted on 07/26/2014

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Hey Ashley,

Since I recommended you this forum I thought I'd make an account too :-)
I'm really proud of you for opening up like this, it take guts.

As I told you earlier I think your son's behavior is really normal for his age. You don't have to be worried. A lot of mums even take their son's sex education in their own hands when they turn 18. There is nothing wrong with it as long as you don't brake any laws.

Whether it's masturbation or intercourse it should always be done with someone special. Especially the first time. Would you really prefer your son did this with some stranger ?

The problem is there is a lot of pressure from society to not be open about these things, even though this happens more than we think it does. It would really help to be honest about it. I wish more moms would come forward and share their stories. Honesty is the base of every sensible discussion.

(I won't be able to make it to your after-party at 12)

xoxo
Tracy

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